Appreciation Is The Relationship Currency Men Notice

Wild Ex Scenarios And Boundaries

Right, but you know, you marry somebody else, y'all get divorced. He loves the fact that the type of dad that you are, you got a couple kids, and this, this, and that. And y'all so cool. Every father, she's like, yo, you coming over for your uh your yearly books? Are you going? If I ain't married, you not dating, you you let's just say you out there being, you know, smooth D Law. You out there you dating, you know, doing your thing, you ain't really looking to get remarried. Are you going over there for your yearly? If I ain't married, hey. If you got a girl.

I see I if I ain't married, I see at seven o'clock.

Uh situation like like you your ex givers, you know, y'all still on this crazy, but y'all got divorced because all y'all was doing was fucking on birthdays and holidays and shit, and then y'all get divorced and y'all still just be fucking on birthdays.

You know what I mean? Yeah, not right. You right for that one, yeah.

Father’s Day Weekend Catch-Up

Well, now that we got the cat daddy in the building. Hello, everybody. Welcome to Corden West Podcast. Uh, we have uh what's here.

You have me, as always, switching it up. Switching it up. We also got B Law here.

We got B Law, the 3-0 undisputed online boxer in the building.

Yes, indeed, yes indeed. Man, man, man. My uh yesterday we had like a my in-laws had like a pre uh Father's Day situation. Um they wanted to do like a uh Father's Day Luau style, like uh Samoan and Hawaiian food and stuff. Because her um my her my wife's aunt is married to a Samoan man.

Intermittent Fasting And Overeating Regrets

Uh so now is he related to the rock? I mean, I know all Samoans ain't related to the rock.

Uh no, that would have came up. That definitely would have came up.

Yeah, because that'd be the first empire in the Ananoli uh bloodline, you know. Yeah. Nah, nah, nah, nah. That'd have been a nah.

So it was just like uh yesterday was like a blend of food or whatever, have you, and all the food is fucking good. I ate too much to the point where I just had some weird ass uh dreams. But uh every time that shit happens, because I've been doing like a um I've been uh fasting for 20 hours and only allowing myself four hours to eat whatever, but not eat whatever, eat healthy shit, but you get what I mean. Yeah, I get it. And I've been losing, I lost like 10 pounds in a month just doing that. Maybe not a month, a month and some some maybe like a month and a half. I lost like 10 pounds.

And you're in your in your 20 hours of fasting, is that also including while you sleep? Hell yeah.

I mean, I gotta ask these questions only because the fast starts when I uh the fast starts when at seven, and then I'm up for a couple hours anyway, sleeping, and then I don't eat till three p.m.

between three and seven. That's not bad. I mean because Oh, it's hard. Oh, I know it's hard. Well, I ain't saying it's easy, I know it's hard. I just know like for me, I don't really get hungry until about seven.

Seven eight.

Yeah, also my last meal is like at nine. So it ain't like I'm like from like seven to like three.

Yeah.

But if I think if I ate my last meal at three, depending on how big of a meal it was, because big meals, they were sick. I probably wouldn't be hungry until about, especially if I'm not drinking. I probably wouldn't be hungry until uh until about that time.

Yeah, so when I uh when we went over there, I was ready to break that fast. I was just like, yo. So I ate all good shit. I ain't had no problems with the food, it was just that I was being a pig. And uh and alcohol, because you know how that shit go. So um I'm not feeling bad. My my stomach was just like, yo, we don't eat like this no more. So I was bloated, you know what I mean? I was still, you know how you burp and you still taste the alcohol from yesterday, that's still going on. I'm like, God, hey, it ain't been like this in a minute.

So now in the midst of it, I mean, especially I'm I'm a firm believer, like, especially if you're intimate fasting like that.

Yeah.

The day before, I you know, especially when I when I was doing it, I was doing what eight hours to eat or whatever.

Yeah.

Probably like the day before, I just wouldn't intermittent fast. That way my body was used to it.

Fuck all that. I I listen, I didn't eat too. So here's the thing. I didn't eat, I didn't eat, so put it this way. If I wasn't fasting, I didn't eat the way I would normally eat without fasting. So I just I a lot of it was uh uh vegetables, a lot of it was like only had like two ribs, two little wingettes, macaroni and cheese. Uh yeah, that's what I'm getting at. But I don't eat those foods though. That's what I'm getting at. I haven't eaten those types of food in like months, regardless. Like the summertime just started, so we ain't, you know, we just about to get into the grilling season. You know what I mean? This is my first foray into like, all right, it's grilling season, and maybe like two uh two broadworths. That's it. So I ain't really nicknam you soft, you soft, yeah.

That's it, my that's in my my riley voice.

Yes, yes, I agree, I agree. That's what I'm saying. And I and I was still fucked up. I'm like, God, I was like, if I was on my fat boy shit like I used to be, that was nothing. That was just that was the first plate, you know what I mean?

The appetizer, exactly, no, exactly.

So it was it was just one of those things where I was just like, fuck man, and then uh my niece came over, she's still well, she ain't here right now, she with my wife, but she was like, Oh, can we can I smell an over here? I'm like, Yeah, so no, yeah, right.

Me, me and Auntie about the new the dirty, no, yeah.

So uh it was just like uh I was just like damn that that food went in so so good, but uh you know how that should go. Hey, look, but um I get it. I

Do You Owe A Father’s Day Gift

get it. But yeah, speaking of Father's Day, off the rip, someone needs your help already. And this person just posted this, just posted this. Man, look, she wants to know.

They should know not to do dumb shit on Father's Day.

Hey, hey, hey, he wants to know is she wrong for not buying her boyfriend a Father's Day gift? Now is he a daddy? Let's hear the story. She says, I am a 38, uh, I am a 38-year-old female, and my boyfriend is 48. We have been together over a year. He has a 21-year-old son, which is cool. I've never been the I I never been in what? I've never been in any idea of being a stepmom. He has a mom and he is an adult. I might try to help with uh I might try to help him communicate better or notice red flags, but all adult situation stuff. Today I was trying to figure out if I wanted to wake up at 9 a.m. to go to brunch with him and his parents for Father's Day. I am in North Carolina with my parents and feel like this holiday is super optional for me. He started to say that I should have gotten him a gift. I tried to ask why, and he said, just you know, he and he said, Well, because I'm a dad, which is great, but what did I have to do with it? I think it would be absolutely fabulous if his ex-wife got him a gift, and honestly, she should. But do I really have some obligation to this? Just because we're dating, am I missing something?

Are they exclusive?

Yeah, then bitch, you fucked up.

Listen, I've gotten less from non-exclusive girls trying to get into where they fit in, you know what I mean?

Right, right. Well, I don't she must be a white woman.

I don't know.

I'm telling you, must be a white woman. This is why we can't get on Netflix, because I said some shit like that, we be camped.

Yeah.

They they'd have had to be like, look, we heard y'all episodes, and Mr. Smith, we're gonna need you. The demographic, uh, you know, uh look, I look treat me like Dave Chappelle, don't cancel me, just keep giving me more specials. But if you if you're dating a person, and and and this is just my belief. Yeah, my belief. If you are dating a person, seriously, not just like, oh, you know, I let them hit the cheeks a couple times, you know. I'm talking about like real life, y'all like be in there, he you come to his house yesterday, you got clothes over there, talking about marriage, pop met each other family. Yes, you are completely obligated to give a Father's Day gift, or at least a Father's Day head. You know what I'm saying?

I don't want head as the God. We talked about that's not a gift. No, it's not a gift, it's not I don't want I don't even want you to do, I don't want you to do nothing like that because the next year you might think, Well, I did that, I'm only do that this time.

Like, don't even I it here here here's my thing. So, right now they've been dating for a year, okay. At this point, that is acceptable for this time around because it's a year, you know.

She she oh, this is the first father's day, right?

This is the first father's day, yeah. So she's not sure how serious they are if they're gonna break up. She still has questions on her end of is this even gonna last?

But I'm gonna stop you right there because I've been in situations where a woman would tell me, Well, why didn't you just ask? Why didn't you just make sure? So I'm gonna fucking Uno reverse this situation and say, Hey, she should have fucking checked with this man knowing Father's Day was coming up. Yeah, y'all dating is new, it's new, right?

Why not do that? And he in the he she didn't have a check room because he said you could have still got me a gift. She felt like I shouldn't have because she didn't. I'm not the papi or the mammy.

Mom, the mom, yeah. So I mean, yeah.

I mean that happens all the time, though.

You know how many times uh a man has given a woman a mother's gift? You done it. I'm sure you've done it on your end. I'm sure you have. Giving your wife a Mother's Day gift, even when y'all was probably dating. I'm sure you did that.

Yeah, I think there were some mothers they did, you know.

I didn't say I didn't say and be like, hey, what do you want to do for Mother's Day?

She'd be like, Oh, I want to go here. All right, well, let's go here. We can go here, blah blah, you know, we'll go do something.

Yeah.

I didn't necessarily uh I might have gave a gift.

Either way, you celebrated her. That's what I'm getting at. Right. Yeah. You celebrated her. So my whole thing is, I mean, listen, I feel like it's super optional to be to be honest, because he is 21 and he is 48. And Yasha kind of be beneath that uh those types of things right now, because I know I probably would be when it comes to stuff like that, especially if I'm like dating somebody. I'm like, uh, but as a man, I know to I can't think that my what I think and what's logical ain't logical for them. So I know the axe.

Oh, you already know it's not logical for them. I know the clearly in her head, she said, look, nigga, I don't even want to spend the money on your ass. Like, to me, that sounds like you're not even serious about this. You you like the idea of the nigga versus him being your nigga, yeah. You know, because because if that was the case. Well, I don't think, you know, because his mom, his ex-wife, so here here here's the part where she's about to get herself all fucked up in all different ways. You felt his ex-wife should have gotten him a gift.

I don't even feel like the ex-wife is obligated, to be honest. I don't feel like I don't feel like no one's obligated, but if that man feels like he needs to have my whole thing is a discussion probably should have been had. That's all because it's so new.

If she if that's all I look at it as well, if you think so strongly that his ex-wife should have been the one to do whatever this thing was, how you know his ex-wife didn't break them off some shit and they don't break it, break it off every every time.

Yo, you're adding extra shit. Look, because what if there's your yearly fucking uh the Father's Day here? Because you said you like my head and I gotta give you a gift. Why do ex-wife feel obligated to even do that?

Well, anytime that you that that yo, that you're like, Well, I don't feel obligated for my to do something for my man, what makes you think that he ain't gonna get it from somewhere else? Okay, he's gonna fill the gap.

We will go off a tangent all the way now because now I got questions. Let's just say multiverse universe type situation. It's not your current wife, but you know, you marry somebody else and shit. Y'all get divorced. She loves the fact that the type of dad that you are, you got a couple kids, and this, this, and that, and y'all so cool. Every father, she was like, yo, you coming over for your uh your yearly dick suck? Are you going? If I ain't married, you not date, you you let's just say you out there being, you know, smooth D Law. You out there, you dating, you know, you think I'm doing your thing. You ain't really looking to get remarried. Are you going over there for your yearly dick suck?

If I ain't married, hey, if you got a girl. I see I if I ain't married, I see at seven o'clock. Think about it. See, the dating game has has changed over the years from when we were dating to where we're y'all. We when we've met our wives and we really got with our wives, we were locked there. We locked in. Ain't ain't nothing distracting us from nothing.

Yeah.

Nowadays, because she's talking about well, I've been dating a nigga for a year. So it's this new dating game. So if I if I had to look at it from this new dating game, well, clearly you didn't feel obligated to do anything to celebrate me. And I've been with you for a year. And this woman over here giving me yearly drink. Like, she's just like, oh hey, what's up, babe? We might be kicking it, we might not do nothing except for that one time on Mother's Day, Father's Day, and each other's birthdays. And that might be just the extent of it, but you didn't even feel obligated to do something for me, and we together, not fucking you regularly. What makes you think I ain't gonna take that option?

That's a hell of a uh situation. Like, like you, your ex giving, you know, y'all still fuck on. Here's the crazy thing, y'all got divorced because all y'all was doing was fucking on birthdays and holidays and shit, and then y'all get divorced and y'all still just be fucking on birthdays.

You know what I mean? Yeah, no, you right, you're right for that one. Yeah, yeah.

I know we went off with a tangent, but I'm just like, I had to explore that right quick.

Just from what she said, is I feel like his ex-wife should be the one to because he the the the kid he is the yeah, I agree with that.

I agree with that, but the with the child being the child, the adult being 21, I think at some point you kind of just let that go. And then the the kid is the one that uh partakes in that. Like, I don't think nobody else in the facility, like if he's not married, don't nobody else be doing nothing like that. And I don't think it falls on her, but obviously he felt a certain type of way.

I also think she missed the ultimate point of the whole thing of Father's Day, anyway. Because she she she's like, Well, her his like it was all well, his son is grown, and all these other things. It's like it's not about his son being grown, it's about the fact of celebrating a father, even if he's not a person.

Yeah, I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying because it's it's been things that the let's just say you work for your your your your job might do something like, oh, even though this isn't doing anything, they'll send an email out to all the fathers. Because I just got that on Saturday. I mean on Friday. All the fathers, happy father's day, blah blah blah, this, this, this, and that. So it's that's uh the lowest thing you can do, but you acknowledged it. I guess she's he's looking at it like yo, nothing. You know what I mean? It could have been like uh some stakes from uh Costco. We throw them bitches on the grill, right?

You know what I mean?

Something, yeah, like it's we gotta do Valentine's Day, and what the you know what I mean?

Neither one we gotta do Valentine's Day and have the time when we do Valentine's Day while we're dating, we barely like the drink. We we just know we're gonna do it.

So I got some more liquor. I got a little drop. She she's playing a very she's playing a very uh dangerous game when it comes to men.

Because the one thing that all men wanna be is appreciated. That's it. We already know our our our holiday, including our birthdays, all have a little Christmas, Mother's Day, the children's birthday, memorial day, labor day, flag day, gay day, straight day. Like we fall so low on the totem pole. All we ask is a little appreciation.

Yeah, all I ask is for a little appreciation, and to go back to what I have said on this podcast so many times, this is that's the reason why I would never tell my wife all the shit that I buy. I'm not running through shit through her. You know what I mean? It's like, yo, like, nah, I gotta need to. I leave next time.

You don't complain about how you spend your money. Look, I don't complain how you spend your money. I don't want, I don't want to hear nothing word about how I spend my money.

Yeah.

Like get your life quickly.

I know that's a uh I know that's a weird uh piece to throw in, but it's just like yo, sometimes all we uh all we want is the appreciation because we don't mind doing it, but don't make it seem like we do it because we're born to do it. There's a lot of deadbeat men that don't do mu much of anything, and they still get celebrated, and they still get celebrated, they still get no way, no way, ain't no way, ain't no way, but that's that's how I look at it.

You got niggas who don't even take care of their kids that get celebrated, and I'm like, so I can't even get celebrated and I take care of my motherfucker, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, I mean, come on. So no, she she they not they're not gonna be together the next couple months.

No, they will. He I mean he ain't gonna break up with her over no uh Father's Day ship. Oh no, it's no she because she because she raises good, she raises, I'm on her side to a degree, she raises good points. It's like, yo, like I we're together. I'm not sure that's not my child. I didn't see you

Appreciation, Effort, And Double Standards

father him. I'm I'm I'm new in the game, but at the same time, I felt like she probably should have just had that conversation with him. Like, yo, Father's Day comes in.

She should have had that conversation and she should have explained it. Like her telling us, I mean, mind you, she didn't really tell us, but we're gonna say her telling us how she feels and why she doesn't want to give him a Father's Day gift because he's not my child, it's not about that kid being yours, he's 21. It's about selling.

That ain't your uh, you know what I mean?

Still ain't your uh I mean put it this way. What if he felt the same way about her being a mother?

She ain't a mom. I don't think so.

I mean, she's not a mom, but I'm just saying, let's let's say let's say she was a mom.

Well, you know how that goes. That it's a double standard, man. You you have to do everything that they want you to do.

We ain't working in double standard world no more. Look, they got equal rights, we got equal standards. Yeah, I don't even know if that's even politically correct.

I I I I appreciate the double standards when it's in my favor. So if I appreciate it when it's in my favor, I gotta accept when it's not. Well, because there's a lot of double standards, I'm just not giving up.

Look, this look, there's gonna be a lot of double standards that's gonna be going. Through if she keeps doing this, because he's gonna because let's say, uh let's say she has no kids. She has no kids. Yeah, let's say they do have a kid together. Okay, and he's 48. I ain't having no fucking kids. Men can have kids as long as they want. Women are the kids.

Yeah, I doubt he's having any. Okay, we we give it a whole background story to these people. Yeah, that's what I'm like. We're giving a whole background story to these people.

But let's say they have a kid by the grace of God, okay? Yeah. And let's say he just says, you know what? I get it. You know, it's Mother's Day. You you have prepared, you know, my child. But I just don't feel like celebrating you have uh our child in Christian whatever else, because from the perspective that I got from it, she doesn't understand she's celebrating him as a father versus his son is 21 and I don't feel obligated to give him a gift. The gift isn't for the child. So if he just says, you know what, I just don't feel obligated to you know give you a gift today because I'm a father 20, 365 days a year, your mother 365 days a year, and our child, we take care of them together. I don't feel the need to really just get you a gift or celebrate you in this same aspect. She's gonna have a whole fit, or like like we said, she had a kid already, he said, bitch, that ain't my kid.

I've tried to have that argument with uh not that I was in the not that I wasn't gonna give a gift, nonetheless, but I have not one, I have not figured out winning, I have not figured out a winning argument to that because one woman's answer was, well, this is this is like for these types of holidays, like Mother's Day and Valentine's Day. Their argument was, yes, you do these things all year round, but this is the day that you make it more than what you normally show appreciation because it's to celebrate. And you might celebrate me every day when moments happen and stuff like that, but this is the time to show me it's like my report card. And I had I don't have a I don't have a rebuttal for that because I get that. So in my head, that's no no no no no hear me out. So in my head, when they have when it's my when it's the man's turn, whenever it's like a father's day or a birthday or Christmas, my report card. So I need you to be for the lack of better words, I need you to be that whore I like in the bedroom, and I'm expecting some parts for my car when it comes to those things. Maybe some tacos. So, like if that's how it's gonna be, and I understand that it just needs to be reciprocated. Don't be like, I got you a fucking shirt and some socks. I don't want that. I can go get a pack of shirts and some socks from Costco, don't do that to me.

But I can guarantee you that's what she would have got.

No, no woman of mine is gonna do that.

That's what she would have got on. No woman of mine if that was her baby daddy.

Hey, that's some IO shit. I don't I don't know, but um that you get what I'm saying though.

I I get what you're saying, but like I said, I it's it it's one of those things where when you really, really look at just the baseline of it. If if she said I've been with him for three months, I wouldn't, I wouldn't even batter the eye at it. Six months, no, even no, no, but a year, you don't want to celebrate the first three months.

You better celebrate if he wants to be celebrated, you still have to have that conversation. Because if I'm dating a if I'm dating someone and it's three months and Mother's Day is around a corner, oh no, you best believe Wesley is gonna get in good and be like, you know, I see you doing, you know, you raised a nice young woman or man. Well, let's just say the rules are reversed. The woman is, you know, her kid is 30. I don't know. I don't give a fuck. You know, blah blah blah, this, this, and that. It must have been hard. Here you go. I got you a little something. I don't have to do that. This is putting good. This is me playing, this is me playing the game. I'm guaranteed to get a dick suck. Yeah, I'm guaranteed to get some. Oh, you didn't have to do that. She was just being lazy. See, as a man, you know, to just go ahead and do it. As a woman, at least ask, because sometimes we don't care about the shit. She didn't play her role the right way, and that's why I say I kind of understand her because as a man, you probably gonna be like, nah, my son 25. Like, we're good. You know what I mean? Like, I ain't worried about that. The gifts need to come from who they need to come from. But she didn't have that conversation. Now she's in this situation. So three months, I still feel like uh that's something you need to be saying. Because you would you would probably do the same thing in three months. If it was you and your wife, well, not your wife now, but you get what I mean. Like, if y'all was dating and stuff, yeah, you'll probably be like, you know, Mother's Day coming up. I can probably look real good right now, just like paying into the, you know, paying into the bucket. Like, hmm. Even if it's just flowers and some candy. Even if it's just flowers, okay. So the the months or the time depends on the type of gift.

I mean, because me and my wife, by the time Mother's Day came around, me and my wife, we have been dating for maybe because Mother's Day is in about April, May. So five months. I still got her gift, took around, did whatever else.

And she felt appreciated.

And because it wasn't about because it wasn't about um and that's at that time if he's my child or like 13, right? Right, he was 13.

Yeah, so either way, like the the hard not the hard stuff, but you get what I mean. Most the bulk of that is done.

But but it but the the biggest thing is it's not about if he's your child or if she's your child or whatever it is, it's not about that. You're not celebrating the child, celebrating celebrating the person, yeah, for the accomplishment because raising the child ain't hard. I mean, ain't easy, it ain't easy if you were upset and saying it ain't hard.

He was already 13. Like I I did it.

The fact that you that that that she feels to the point that she's like, I don't need to celebrate him for raising a whole 21-year-old that he's still raising because he still has to give them guidance. Yeah, that she's like I don't I don't feel the need to celebrate him. That is where that's what's gonna really uh end up getting her nowhere.

That's what's gonna get her nowhere in in the grand scheme of it.

Because whoever she's with, let's say she finds another. Let's say they break up next week because clearly they're gonna break up. I mean, it's not uh it's it's without a doubt that they're gonna break up. They're not gonna break up, they're gonna break up, they're gonna break up because she's gonna but I don't feel obligated, and she's gonna say her opinion. He's gonna look at her. Well, you know, white people are different than us. But let's say it's a black dude. Let's say it's a black dude. You're gonna be like, so wait, you don't celebrate me, but you want me to celebrate you on your birthday? Nah, man.

I feel like that's just an unnecessarily, uh necessary conversation to have, even from the guy's standpoint. Because you could get yourself something right now. Just you just play the game the right way. Like, I get it. I understand why. Um you think I can you just work you work something in. You know, I get it. Uh, can you make me a meal or blah blah blah, you know, or whatever you're whatever you fancy at that time. I think it's you know, I find it special, you know what I mean? Or I I I I I I I like to celebrate that and I would like for you to give me stuff. Now she loves you, and if she fights you, it's weird because it's kind of like yo, she she's taking an approach that most men would take that I would take, but I just know better as a man because I've been a man. Like, yo, ask that motherfucker first, because she might not even care. You know how many times it's been Valentine's Day, me and my wife get together, it's like, I don't feel like doing nothing, me either. Boom. Right, boom. Or it's just like, are we doing something? I would like to do something. Then it's just like fuck. And I gotta do something. You know what I mean?

Like, yeah, that's it. But it makes sense. That's you look a simple conversation because now she's she's working off of I feels, I feels, I feels no. Because if he feels like you're being disrespectful to the fact that he doesn't feel appreciated, this whole conversation's over.

Yeah, yeah.

The Hookup Walk Miscommunication

Speaking of uh another person in their feelings. Uh someone this woman posted that she was like, Men are stupid. And I agree. Sometimes we are. Especially because women think we're mind readers and we come off stupid. Right.

She says you're my situation, my my whole thing. That's my whole thing too.

I think that's every man's whole thing. Like, I ain't do something that you wanted me to do, and I made it obvious, and then they tell you the how they made it obvious, and you be like, What? She says that she made plans with a guy who lives near her to hook up for a few days. To hook up a few days ago. The plan was to go for a walk around the uh neighborhood first and enjoy the good weather and then back to his house for fun times. I had some errands in the morning and said I let him know when I was free. I texted him when I was free and said, I'm just eating lunch, but I'll be available when I was done. Asked if he preferred what I asked him if he had a preference in what I wore and commented on the weather when I got outside. Told him to come out and enjoy the sun while sending a picture of my location near his house so he would know where to find me. Tell me why he went for a walk around the entire neighborhood by himself without telling me, uh, but texting me the entire time. I was waiting for 40 minutes before. I figured out that I had gone off. I figured out that he had gone off without me, and then I went home instead.

Well, she better be more blatant. Like, look, I want you to come see me. Yeah, you can't assume that somebody knows to come see you and they don't know to come see you.

Like that, listen, they was just supposed to be fucking. She tried to work in romance, and I've had that happen to me before where it's just like, yo, this is supposed to be casual. Why the fuck are we walking around the neighborhood? Right. Before we get piped down. Right, I'm here too. And you didn't even you couldn't even clarify that.

That's what you clarified the right way. We about to we we we gonna we're gonna walk around the neighborhood. What what the fuck about what we doing this had?

Why can't I walk around the neighborhood with you? And and they live in the same neighborhood. I was like, what are we doing this for?

He got that shit up out the way. He was like, nah, he was like, you know what? I do need to walk though. I don't know, man. That shit that that that shit was that pose was a little weird because it's kind of like, yeah, men are stupid sometimes, but I'm like, yeah, you sound like the stupid, you sound like you're like I said, trying to work in romance and shit. So she can go replay it in the back of her head once she got that good that dopamine hit. Like, we walked around the uh neighborhood, it was a beautiful day. I had a sundress on, yada yada yada. We went back to his place, you know what I mean? Like that whole type of thing, and it's just like, who you fucking fooling? Like, nah. That's not what this is about to be. I've been in that this particular situation, but I've been in a situation like that. It's like, nah, you try to trick me to be your boyfriend. I see how this shit works.

Hey, well, I think we've all been there where we're told, oh, you know, it's just fine. Like, I just want somebody to hang out with.

All right, that's fine. They go to the what are we? And I just can't keep doing this. And I'm like, why can't you? Like, you you came to me with this. I that you no man ever just comes to a woman like, you know what? I think we should just only fuck. I'ma do nasty shit to you. You're gonna do nasty stuff to me.

No, no, look at me like that, man. I didn't say no, no, no.

I've never been, I've never approached a woman like that, but they all they have not always now, but they have approached me with shit like that.

Like, I'm just not ready, my last breakup, and this, this, and this, but you know, blah blah blah blah blah.

You you get in there where you fit in, like is we've all been there, but usually they hold the keys to that shit. And then I've been in situations where it turned into, well, you know, I just want to do more with you, but I have to feel like uh I just don't want to feel like I'm being a hoe. You know, could we not just keep it casual? Can we go out to eat sometimes before this and this, this?

And I'm like, oh the fuck.

Then it slowly started escalating more. And I'm like, Hold the fuck up, man. You ain't about to fuck my whole summer up.

When you get when you start messing with somebody, you end up in a relationship, like it's just almost unwritten.

When that happened, I stopped doing shit like that. I'm like, hell nah. Nah. Now I can't go home and play 2K when I want to. Cause you're like, what are you doing? Why you always leave after you that's because that's what I'm supposed to do. That's what we've been doing. Having fucking scarred flashbacks and shit. Like, yo, I you got something to say, Mr.

Smith.

We'll talk after this.

Mrs. Smith has something to say. I don't look she giving me is like nigga.

Sitting there co-signing this shit.

Like look, she got she like this to you.

You about to walk yourself out of something.

He's sitting here co-signing this with you, but between me and him, like, that's how that happened with us, and I wasn't the one that was saying, oh, let's do this and that. He was.

Oh shit.

It's like, wait a minute, he's sitting here trying to play it all cool.

And I married her. All right, and I married her forward, what you're saying.

But but in the defense of the whole thing, like he said, the person, the lady started this and wanted it to progress, and they were like, okay, whatever, like it's gonna be what it is. As the man, as the person who was supposed to initiate and to make sure that they reached out and said, Hey, I want to marry all the other stuff, all the things I supposed to do. I did what my part was.

You did. I'm just saying, I did what my part was.

Yeah, yeah.

But I but I did my part. I I pursued you, right? I made sure that I was like, Look, yeah, right now I'm just trying to have fun. And then when I realized that I had more feelings for you, I communicated that to you that I was like that's the right way to go. But she that's not what she did. She just said, okay, yeah, we're just fucking, but I want to go walk around the park. No, that is a couple things to do.

I didn't say, hey,

When Casual Turns Into “What Are We”

hey, we're just fucking, let's go walk around the block.

I didn't say that. I oh, we're just fucking. So let's let's go walk around the park and you know, have a picnic and do boyfriend, girlfriend things. No, it was hey, what are you doing? You want me to come through? Cool, come through, whatever, whatever. And then it turned into, well, you want to go on a date?

Yeah, yeah. You're right. I'm just saying, you're sitting here co-signing and I was like, hold up, that was you all the way. Like, don't sit here and act like that wasn't you.

When men do the opposite, that's when we get in trouble because they be like, the woman be like, Oh, he loved bomb me, or he's giving me mixed signals and stuff like that. You as a man, you gotta stay the course for what it is.

You gotta stay the course for what it is.

Now, in D Lost the fence, he's like, nah, this ain't about to be that no more because I see more in you. I don't want to do just that. He stayed the course. I don't want nobody else having your ass because she sounds like she not staying the course in the situation I've been in, they was not staying the course. You ain't gonna just keep fucking me like this. Well, if you say no, then I can't, but I'm not doing nothing else.

So yeah, I mean, I've been there too, where it's like, oh, you know, this is fun, like we're just hanging out and blah blah. And then all of a sudden, so so what are we? Yeah, what you mean? What is created this arrangement? What are we? Well, are we together? Uh no. I mean, I don't know. Look, you said you mess with X, Y, Z, P, and D. Look, what you mean? Are we together? Are you with them niggas too? Like, no. If you go, if you're going to be with me, then say, hey, I think we should be together. Be up front, say what it is.

Yeah.

And nine times out of ten, if the guy ain't just fucking you because it's convenient, he'll say, Okay, let's see where this goes. You find out real quick once you even mean though.

Let's see where this goes. What does that mean? Like, I'm sorry, I don't mean to take it off.

Oh, no, what it what it means is let's see how this relationship goes in two weeks. When a guy likes you, he he isn't gonna say, Let's see where this goes. That's the first thing.

No, yeah, that's crazy.

That's crazy. So when they I was trying to get to that, they didn't when a guy says, Let's see where this goes, he's about to find a way to dip on you.

Right.

He ain't look, you're a convenient thing for him, so there's no need for him to like, all right, now she won't be in a relationship. I don't really want to be in a relationship, and or what I've encountered over the years from from my guy friends, the chick wasn't that cute, and then they just did something that was really, really good that they liked, and they kind of was like, uh, let me just uh keep her on the roster, right? You know, okay, okay, you know, it it it'd be like that, and that's like you said, that's the gate dating game. That was dating game back in the day, but it wasn't like when we're doing the same thing, it was just one of the things where it was like, let's uh let's see where it goes, you know. Let's not, I don't want to commit to nothing because I just got out of something, or you know, a lot of times, but I even when I heard that, well, I want to commit to nothing, I just got out of something, and then it really was yeah, I'm still fucking the same person, but just broken up for right now.

Rosters, Money, And The Dating Game

In situations like that, I and I told you this shit before. I'm like, yo, I'm gonna give myself maybe one or two more chances, get her out of my system. I'm done. I'm not that that's not what I'm about to be a part of your roster. Like I'm and I know somewhere along the lines, I I probably was a part of somebody's roster, but you ain't about to tell me that, right? And I'm gonna be thinking about that.

No, I'm not, I'm out of here.

You collecting a hundred dollars from you know, five different dudes, five hundred dollars, get yourself, you know, do that a couple times.

You got a new iPhone in a month, like no, and then you and then you go out and uh to the bars and clubs, and you see the whole look, you she done got five hundred out a hundred dollars from each one of her five dudes just to go find another dude to add to her roster to get uh 600 now, yeah.

Right, yeah. Man, women folk play the game so well.

So so well. I'm not gonna say that women real real men don't be taking money from women.

Real men don't be taking money from women.

I'm not gonna say that women play the game well. I think they do they do play it to the best of their ability, but I always I think men still play it the best. We still play the best.

It depends on what aspect of the game. What are we talking about defense, we talking about offense, or we talking about keep them down by 10? Like I it's different parts of the game that I just feel like put it this way when I mean not the whole game, as far as like women play it well, they they have a lot of good, they have a lot of things going for themselves where they can play that game officially, a part of the game efficiently and effectively. They have something that we all want. We don't be thinking about us wanting it. That's why OnlyFans is the way it is, and women making millions. So if you if they're gonna if some women are gonna use their sexuality to their advantage, that's the game that they play well. As far as sexuality for us, we can't use our sexuality. Uh well, we'll probably would of the same sex, but not with you know, being a heterosexual. Yeah, you can as a man you'll use your sexuality a little bit, but it don't go far the way it goes far with women. That's what I'm getting at. So that's how they're getting at $100 here, $100.

I just don't know what to do. My phone bill's a hundred dollars, and blah blah blah blah blah. And I like talking to you, and I'm not gonna be able to talk to you. She says that to five different guys.

I'll put it this way. I think the young guys got a better uh brother CJ. I swear every time I was over there, another chick was coming over, giving him some money to go get some.

I'm telling you.

And I'm like, nigga. He's like, Oh, yeah, I got this little, I got this uh old head gen I've been messing with. She's about to give me about $400 to get this new PS5. Now, mind you, he already had a PS, or not PS5, but PS4. But he already got one. Well, now I gave that to my little cousin. I want another one.

Because there are a lot of old well, that's an exchange.

That's different. And that's an old and that's an old head too.

That's not happening with a lot of uh same uh men and women and stuff to to come and give them company, and they I'm telling you, it's a whole market out here with these older women who still want thick, and they're going to these young dudes, and these young dudes, they get a big thing.

Yeah, that's the game that they that's see, that's a different part of the game that I'm talking about.

I'm trying to tell you that's a whole old that's that's a that's the other side of the game.

Aging, Cougars, And Who Pays

That's the other side of the game that I'm talking about.

But guys, we can't as you get as you reach different levels in your age, you can't play certain parts of the game. The game is women, yes, women, no matter how old they get, they can play every portion of the game because of the fact that I disagree with that. You don't think so?

Because you got older women out here, they can't go out here and get money like they could have if they were in their 30s or 20s. These some of these dudes, they like women on them old holes, like they truly don't. And those are the women out here who are lonely, who are not, you know, they they they they getting them young dudes. That's their market, those older women who are not getting it the way they want to, they are now messing with the younger dudes and are considered the cougars. But those younger girls out here who still got it, who are considered the baddies, they can go out here and they can get what they want and play that game.

But the older women who are a little more not, you know, what you're saying is, see, see what you're saying is you're saying that you that as women age, they can't get both pieces when they were younger. They can either get one or the other. That's what you're saying.

That's how it's saying is that you've been at a certain age, you can no longer try to swindle a dude for money. Like when you're younger, you can get with an older dude or sugar daddy and have him spend all this money on you, buy all of this shit, take you on trips. Yes, that younger pussy will get you that. But as you get older and you get over a certain age, you then become the one who's paying. And you're paying somebody who's in their 20s or 30s to come in for that companionship, for that sex. You are the one flying that nigga out to Mexico and to be with you and be on this trip with you and buying PS5s and tennis shoes and all of that. There is a certain age where you go from being the one who's having all this money and being spent on to the one that's now paying for companionship as a penis.

But that's if you mess with a younger dude. These older dudes, the dudes, the dudes around you, the dudes around these older women's ages, they'll pay for it. They just can't give you the same sex as the younger dudes.

A lot of these older dudes want young girls.

I've seen situations. I've seen situations of both. Like if it's a real unattractive older guy, he could probably get an unhe could probably get an older woman and still do those things and pay for shit, and this, this, and that, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Because he feels like he ain't got shit going on for himself. You see it all the time on the court TV shows and shit like that. Older man messing with the old lady, paying everything, just to keep her doing whatever you want. This, this, and that, blah, blah, blah. I've seen both sides. Yeah.

So don't mind us. We're we're working on our communication and talking more. You know, you know, we've been talking more, kind of getting things out. So, yeah, nah, yeah. We're we're now kind of exploring each other's real mind frame of certain things.

So listen, just hearing that is making me happy I'm out again. I ain't really got time for that shit. Well, I ain't got time for the shit either.

I mean, I'm foldy. I could imagine. I could imagine trying to be like somebody now. Oh Lord, yeah. I ain't got the patient.

Oh, hey, let's go do this. Let's go do this. Oh, I'm going, I'm going with my girls, I'm going with my girls to the club. You want to come?

You gonna buy all of my drinks?

No, no, no, I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna get the clothes of my girls, I got my dress on, and then you'll be like, okay, cool, but then by like 10 o'clock, I'm ready to go into bed. I'm like, why am I why are we out here right now?

The only way that that is buying drinks. That's fine.

You still a old, you still an old snip at that. If you if you're doing everything, motherfucker, as a man, you have the power. Tell the motherfucker she not going nowhere and bring her ass in the house by eight. Now, if she don't oblige to that and you pamper everything, she got to go. That's just the way that works. And they don't, and men don't feel like they have that power when they doing that much. That's just not the baddie for you. But there's another baddie that's gonna be like a feeling.

Look at look at uh body and being around again.

Uh Deon Sanders. You think if Dion says, Hey, I need you home by eight, she ain't gonna be home by eight. She's gonna be home by eight. Exactly.

It's about how you approach it. So I know she's home by eight.

Yeah, it's all about how you approach that. But I don't even want to be in that situation where I gotta be doing that. So it's just like, no. Like that shit is exhausting. Hell nah. How do we get on that? Yeah, sometimes we're in a stupid. Sometimes they stupid.

Hey, look, I'm glad we can always get a special guest that comes in the building.

Right.

You got OG Mrs. Smith in the building, he's gonna play the horns on the on the on the YouTube clip.

Yeah, I uh that was a stupid thing to read because it's just kind of like yo, I can get the miscommunication part, but it's just like there's a there's a there's something greater going on here. You trying to trick this motherfucker. There's no way I'm coming for a pipe and that's a walk. Well, I gotta walk. First of all, I'm not walking. Now I'm thinking about that. You're gonna have walk butt at that time at that time, like you're walking, right? Shit, sweating, you know. I mean, she might not be as fresh as she might have.

Nah, if this is just us hooking up if you go walking, that thing is gonna be like this. You go you'll be ready. You gonna you're gonna give her at least.

No, but I can do that in the house with some push-ups and shit.

Yeah, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, like I come on now. Like, how much that's besides the point? That's besides the point.

Stop Forcing It And Learn To Pivot

But uh I got a question for you. Is there a uh is there one thing in your life that you stop uh that you stop forcing, like forcing yourself to do or forcing in your life that actually helped you grow more as a person? Nah. So you still forcing stuff when you ain't forcing nothing?

I ain't forced nothing to begin with. I ain't forced nothing to begin.

Oh, I need to uh I need to uh be more aware of my surroundings or whatever. Like you don't force anything in your life.

Uh not really. Yeah, oh shit. I I'll never see it. I need to force it. It's all gonna come when it comes, no matter how you look at it. It's like, am I forcing it?

So put it this way: you have a business, you're a small business owner, and there might be certain aspects of your business that you probably want to scale up and stuff like that, right? So, but there are also might be things that you saw within yourself that were like, you know what, I need to be more consistent with this, so this can happen. I need to be more consistent with that so it can happen. So outs that's what I mean, but not necessarily with your business outside of that with you. Because I know it's things that I feel like I need to be more consistent with and or whatever have you. And I'm forcing myself to be more consistent.

I mean, there's always things I could be more consistent with.

But you're not forcing it, you're not forcing yourself to be more consistent.

No, because uh at the end of the day, being consistent is is just in the in my nature as it is.

Well, I was using that as as an example, but what I'm looking for is like if you is are you forcing yourself to are you forcing things in your life?

I don't I don't I never see the the the point of it because a lot of times you end up when you when you start trying to force things is it it becomes like uh what's the best way to put it? It all depends on what you're forcing. Let's say I'm trying to force you know the business to be better.

I'm now becoming pushy. You feel like it's a chore at that point? Do you feel like it's a chore at that point?

Yeah, I mean it it becomes a chore because let's say let's say like somebody called me Friday. I was like, hey, I want math tutor for my child, blase blase. Now if I'm forcing it because I need the business, then it turns into that now I'm being pushy. So it it I mean, like I said, it all really just depends on what you're being assertive about. Now, when it came to my wife and me getting with her, then yes, I was pushing the issue. I mean, versus pursuing though. Yeah, but but that's saying that's the only time that I really was like, let me assert myself like that.

Other than that, you you either come off pushy or arrogant or however they they start classifying people. And it's like it's not it's not worth it.

If it's gonna come, it's gonna come. I'm not saying that you can just not do stuff and it come to you.

Right.

You gotta you still gotta put effort in, but to be super forceful about it or super pushy or super anything, it's not it's not worth it's not worth first of it, it's not worth the headache because you're gonna stress yourself out. And that's why I'm like, yeah, it's not worth it's not worth that that headache to stress myself out. So I just don't.

So you're like a uh go with the flow, pivot when I need to pivot, and things will reveal itself when it happens.

Yeah, I mean, because that's the biggest thing you pivoting is the key of life at this point, especially as you get over. Like when you're younger, all that other stuff of forcing the issue and all that other stuff, it it works for you because you're still young. But when you get to where we are, the best thing to do is to pivot. Yeah, it's not always gonna go your way, and and that comes with maturity of it's not gonna go our way. Let's pivot. So clearly this isn't working. So, how about we try this or remarket it this or let me approach her this way, or let me try this different exercise, you know what I'm saying? It's uh it it just becomes a big pivot. Because if you can't pivot and and change pace, then you end up forcing something that doesn't need to be forced.

Yeah, I agree with that. The the crazy thing is the it used to be the opposite for me. Like when I was younger, probably all the way up until like uh maybe like 25, 26. I was uh since birth, I've been a go-with-the-flow type of motherfucker. And I realized I got that from my dad. My mom, on the other hand, has been the uh forcing situations, we need to be here, I need to be there. You know what I mean? Like trying to uh make some not that I wasn't trying to make something out of life, and not that he wasn't, but she felt like she had to go and grab life and and and and and and mold it to what she wanted. And there's a certain type of um, of course, there's a certain type of mindset that comes with that, but there's a certain type of way that a person has to live their life in order for that to happen. And me and my mom always kind of just like, we ain't bump heads, but it was just like, yo, you being too serious when you don't need to be too serious. But also that's the adult in my life. You know, she's the uh she's an adult. So I was like, is that what you're supposed to be? But I always kind of went with the flow, maybe up until like my last two years of college or whatever. And then something switched where it was like grab life by the grab the bull by the horns for lack of better words. Or I need to uh I need to force these things. I need to force myself to be more consistent and uh determined and and seize opportunities and shit like that. And that has gotten me far. So it's just like, yeah, that has helped me grow. And now I'm in the mindset again of I have to force myself to relax. I have to force that into my life because I can't I'm I'm doing the other part so well where it's just like, am I stopping to smell the roses or am I uh enjoying the family or am I enjoying the small horns? Nah, I mean, you get what I mean. Yeah, but roses though. But it's like, yo, now I have to uh stop forcing the to grab the life by the by the horns or grab the ball by the horns because it's already happening. It's happening around me. I need to, I need just pivoting. Like I did what I needed to do to get myself here. And not to say I'm on cruise control, because I'm never, I never am. I just have to be, I have to focus on more uh building myself to have the right tools to pivot when I need to pivot. So it seems like once I stop focusing on this is where I should be, this is what I should be doing in my career, this is where I want to be, and I just started focusing on yo, you have a role to play. It might not be the role you thought just you was in, but this is where you at. So you pivot when you need to pivot. And the crazy thing is, I got that mindset, like that that realization or that aha moment when I was looking at a clip for uh Up and Spoke with Matt Barnes and um and um What's that Matt Barnes and uh Stack Stack, yeah. Yeah, and it was just kind of like I forget who I was listening to, but you it's a lot of stories like the NBA players, like, nah, I was that guy, but they was paying him. And I knew I was better than him, and the practice I was cooking them, but they paid him 50 million, they was paying me whatever. And then you you know, you realize like, yo, sometimes all you're gonna be, depending on what it is, is the role player. And it's nothing wrong with that, just do the role player shit well, like yeah, and it's gonna be what it's gonna be. Like, life that's a pivot right there. Like, yeah, you got all the talent in the world, but that's not why you here, unfortunately. So, what you gonna do with that?

Right, you gotta start what it gives you and and make the best of it.

Yeah. So I just started saying that shit. I got that that was my aha moment. I'm like, oh shit. So I just started uh equating that to like everything, like, yo, like, yeah, this is what you want it to be, but it might not be this, and you might be wasting a lot of energy and doing that. Do this instead, just pivot and let the shit happen. Like, because it's like at this point, you're fighting against the universe. Like you can't make your job see you any type of way if they don't want to.

Right.

You can't make people see you in any type of way if they don't want to. Like you'd be putting your best forward, and if they just don't see it, is that up? Is that your point? Is that your fault at that point? Like, is their perception of you your problem? Yeah, not necessarily, depending on who it is.

I mean, that's where a lot of us are in our jobs nowadays. I mean, shit, that's where I know, that's where I'm at. Yeah, I mean, it's well documented about where I'm at in my uh where I'm at, to where I'm like, well, I don't know. You know, this you know, in my head, the lady trying to get rid of me. But I I come to work, do my job every day. I don't complain. I just I just get the job done, and every other day it's something different. Of oh, well, you know, you ain't doing this, and well, what do you mean I'm not doing this? What the fuck wrong with you? I mean, I mean, I know I ain't talked about work in a long time, but I try not to because I'm like, yo, that's just something that I do.

That ain't me. So I'll be trying my hardest not to talk about that shit.

But I tell you this, it without a doubt, it it be like because like I told you, she she's trying to rock me to sleep. She's trying to rock me to sleep, and with rocking me to sleep, all that means is oh, I'm gonna be super nice and I'll see if he starts trusting me. No, that's not that's not how this should go.

Yeah. Sometimes you just shouldn't force any issue, you shouldn't force nothing, like how you were saying, because it's one of those things where you don't know because we we don't know the future, we don't know what the man above has planned for us or anything like that. We don't know if we're just working against something, working against what's already set to happen or what could happen for you, because it might not actually happen because we're forcing certain situations, and I think certain situations that you should like I think how could I put it? All I would hope that the the universe reveals the situations that you should force and when you should back up. You know what I mean? Like, hey, I'm forcing this situation because I think an opportunity is coming, and then maybe you pull off that situation because you're like, all right, I think I did too much, or I'm already I've done uh all I can do. I have to wait to see what happens.

Right.

I don't ever want to be like you were saying, that motherfucker that's just forcing something all the way through, and you like you were saying, you come off as arrogant or something like that, or like I was saying, coming off not coming off, but just like not uh seeing things for what they are, like not seeing a beautiful moment for what it is, or not seeing that, like you were saying, trying to rock you to sleep and shit. Like if you was just forcing the situation, do you think you know you'll be able to see that?

I wouldn't be able to see that because I've been trying to force getting shit all this other shit done, yeah. And I wouldn't be able to see. She trying to rock me see and and and that that that comes with maturity, yeah. All right, well, if I try to force it, what's gonna happen? Yeah, so and let's say I I did everything, so I'm doing it the best of my ability. What does that get me? It gets me nothing. I mean, I'm state government, there there isn't no hate.

You're not getting that that's what I'm getting at. So these are certain situations where it's just like, yo, and I didn't realize that in my own job too. It's just like, no, no, no, no. Realize that you're the it don't matter what you know of yourself and what how other people see that where you should probably fit in, this is where you're at right now, and this is probably what it's gonna be until something else happens. Relax, you know. I had to have to tell myself, relax. No, just do your job, just do what they want you to do because even though you're trying to do all this spectacular shit and cool shit, it ain't gonna get you nowhere because where it's gonna get you, someone is already there, and they ain't leaving. So, you know, I definitely understand that, and that's in life in general, like you can only do but so much, and it's just like I don't want to waste my time just on some woulda, coulda, shoulda's, and I was working hard just to realize, like, oh, I did all that, and I was never gonna progress because that's not how you progress with this situation. Actually, you can't progress, not because you don't got it in you. This is a situation where no one in this position progresses, unless you Jesus Christ himself, and he just you know what I mean? He just he does what he do. But you know what I mean? I'm like, uh and that's like I was saying, like watching that uh watching that episode or that clip of Up and Smoke. I'm just like, yeah, when you're a role player, unless the the star player gets

her that's what you are you the sixth man be the buck fast best fucking six man there is right be Jamal cruise you do the best you can and and that and like I tell my wife all the time I said all I can do is the best I can do with what I'm giving her. Yeah I mean ain't ain't no way around it no way you know I as much as I want to you know do a whole lot more and there's no there's no need for me to do more than that because I'm not going I'm not going to advance nowhere.

Yeah not because you can't it's just because that's just the way the situation that I'm in right now you can do some laterals but there gotta be something there.

Applying Pivoting To Relationships

Yeah gotta be it gotta be something there for a lateral so yeah I definitely uh definitely understand and I definitely understand that and you know shorty uh that wanted to take that walk if she understood that aspect of her forcing she would understand like yo she was just her cool self homie might be in a situation like how you was in was like you know what this girl actually pretty cool I don't want to just be doing this to her I want to make her mind yeah you should worry about the fucking going for a walk before the piping you know what I mean she needs to realize like oh I need to clicker her like yo I'm getting good pipe is this man actually a good man you know what I mean could I make this work do I need to start cooking for this motherfucker washing his clothes and shit hey that's just me yo good pipe should be put on a pedestal too many I know this is a random thought I just had in my head but ain't no way y'all be like woman be like well I'm not doing that until you're my husband I gave you good pipe like I was your husband no don't do this is husband pipe don't don't give you boyfriend pipe if I wanted to they'll give you good you you can give them good pipe and they still be like I'm not doing it you know you you're not husband material if you was living by yourself you still got to do these things yeah if you're cooking all you're doing is cooking a little bit more if you're washing all you're doing is washing a little bit more a little bit more and here's the thing I'll help with that I am not saying it's solely on you because you work that's tag team this shit but don't say you ain't gonna do something because they look weird that's just like saying you you're not a child you work why do I have to pay for certain things for you you're gonna look at that man like why wouldn't you I'm your I'm your wife yeah well but it's really that simple yeah I mean the biggest thing that they forget men's biggest priority besides protect and provide is that they're supposed to preach over their family that that is what that is the missing piece of a lot of the stuff you're supposed to the the preach over your family that is the as long as they're connected with God to put it that way that is the he talks to you you talk to your family that is the submissiveness of your wife because submissiveness is pretty much what it sounds like being a servant uh help me you know it's it's it's being that because God created your husband to be the foundation of everything that's why when things get tough you don't see us really sweating it's like okay we are built to do this that is what we're built for I be sweating I just don't let nobody see it I figure it out I mean I'm not saying we don't I'm not saying that we don't sweat I'm just saying in the grand scheme we ain't really looking to you to we ain't looking to our woman to fucking solve that fucking problem because women oh my gosh I got this I got this they they over there freaking out and and my baby daddy or my husband blah blah blah and it's like okay I get it but why are you trying to be a better man than your husband let your husband be the man let that that's what it boils down to.

Leadership, Faith, And Teamwork At Home

Let your husband be the man stop trying to overdo him because you don't want to be submissive or servant to your husband at the end of the day that's every woman will tell you well if my husband did this this this this this this this and all this other stuff I don't have an issue being submissive to him but when your husband does this this this this and this guess what you're not doing you're not being submissive to your husband yeah like look at look at like you said earlier look at Dion Sanders' uh girlfriend wife whatever she is Dion does everything that he's supposed to do as the man for her to come home at eight o'clock yes uh so the thing is that that that comes from two places though that comes from a woman having that understanding what yeah that's okay uh that that comes from um a woman having that understanding to be like yo I not necessarily that I got a good over here but like yo I I don't I don't have this is not a thing I have to like I was saying earlier I should I don't have to force this he wants to do these things and I believe she genuinely loves him so it's like if I love him what is it if he's doing these things for me because he loves me for me to do the things that he wants because I love him. And then it's also one of those things where a lot of people men and women men ain't being the aren't being the what they should be that makes women feel like they have to be the way that they are because there's a space and opportunity to be those things. So and then when the man is doing what he needs to do is the understanding of the woman it's just like it's a lot of stuff going on it's not just one thing. And I'm not going to ever say it's like oh it's because of this one thing or that one thing men got to start being better. Women have to start some women have to start some men have to start being better because there's good men out here and some women have to start just uh recognizing and understanding understanding what they have in front of them and just kind of understanding life a little bit more. Like yeah you had you see women that has all these things and um you know living that I would say uh fortunate uh luxury life where you you know they don't have to work but yeah that's just not the way the globe works in its in its in its entirety that's still a one percent where like I make enough money to provide all these things and you get to stay home. So and it's just one of those things where it's just like yo what's in my opinion if you're already going to college and you you want your job and stuff like that what's eight hours out your day working if everything like 90% of the other stuff is being taken care of by your man even 50 because you if you you know what I mean like if y'all was going 5050 because if it was just you it's 100% like if that man's a good man or that woman's a good woman that's that's the that's the win right there because a lot of us don't have that like what's a what's a little bit of money you know what I mean just to be like yo I ain't gotta worry about this with this motherfucker I ain't gotta worry about that with that motherfucker we be having fun he keeps me laughing or she keep me laughing like what's any of that stuff to anything and it's just like the world just tricks people with instantly every day every second where it's just like nah that that that person ain't for you because it ain't this you should want more you should have more and but and like I was saying the forcing of the shit you're gonna miss out actually on more because you're forced to this situation they keep trying to put you in that trick bag where it's like oh well you you you you at the end of the day relationships and and and I'm firm believing relationships and marriage isn't about you it's about you it isn't about you it's about it's about you all yeah and I think people get into these relationships like I'm not gonna change who I am and I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that cool hey that's fine but be but that person don't have to be there for that and you get if somebody wants that then hey you lucked up but you also got to realize how many people out there wanting that and I think that's what some people don't understand.

So and that's why I said you know all these women out here and men too but women because that's what's always on tonight's conversation they out here saying okay yeah I cheat on my husband I did this and and it and it all caters to oh my gosh you know well you know you need to say something to your husband because he's a man it's not about it never they very few times do they say you're a fucked up person well I cheat on my husband because you know he wasn't doing this this and this and when you when you hear what they say that they're not doing something it's something along the lines of they're not helping around doing this they're not doing this or they're always working but they don't have enough money to do this. So then you cheat on your husband right and they almost clap for it where it's like okay yeah yeah you know you did the right thing but in retrospect no you a shitty individual but then you hear a husband husband or somebody saying you know I'm going through a divorce and you know I don't know why what what did you do? What do you mean what did I do? What what I I don't even get the benefit of the doubt that I wasn't the person that did anything. I got double standard thing I was I was talking about it's just like come on like you gotta at some point we gotta get out of the mind frame of defending and I I I always say we do have to defend our women but we gotta get out of the mind frame that every time that something happens between a man and a woman that is a man's fault.

Yeah I I'll I I I'll defend women but I just know it goes so far when it comes to logic and I know it goes so far with like not the communication you know no communication because I've I and I'm sure you've been in this situation too you find yourself in situations that you shouldn't even be in or arguments where it's just like yo if you just would have said that better so I can understand. And if I'm literally saying I don't understand what you're saying and then you get mad at me for not understanding I'm like young patience with you know like I I sometimes they don't even know what they're saying to not that they don't they don't know what they're saying to us but sometimes it comes across all over the place incoherent and you're like befuddled that you like I hear the words I don't understand the words and I've been in that situation where it's just like yo just talk to me or they shut down and you gotta spend the hour asking in different ways while they slamming shit down or crying or some shit like that. It's just like this to me it is hard. The relationships are are hard but I've seen where we make it even harder. I've seen where I made it harder I've seen where previous women include my wife has made situations harder. I'm like well you just would have said this because I don't even feel that way I don't even you know what I mean that's not even something that I think about you or whatever have you and it's just like then it's like oh and then it's like are you hungry like you know you went through a whole bunch of shit with like three hours and it's just like if if if if everyone gets that third piece that letting the man preach over the family and or being taught that because not everybody's taught that third thing because there it when you talk to when you talk to people they're like well what is the duty of a man protect and provide it's protecting and providing in many ways though like protecting and providing in many ways but there's only one way to preach and that's listening to God that that that's what it boils down to.

It's one of those things there's and once you get to that third portion of it once you get to that third portion of it to where you're you're you're doing what he's asked you to do and protecting your family because he's going to tell you how to protect how to how to provide what you need to do to make sure you keep providing what's going to happen. He's going to talk to you so if you're doing what you're supposed to do and you're doing that third piece women in theory which they're women it doesn't mean theory works for them they shouldn't have no reason to buck back about oh well I'm an alpha woman and you got you you know like anytime I hear a woman say well I need a guy that can handle me clearly you need a guy you need to be single that that's what it is what guy wants to sit and argue with a woman about something that is doesn't need to be argued about what I learned what I've learned and it works almost every time uh when a woman is getting getting like if her world approaches that alpha this you need to be able to handle me there's a way that I passively aggressively do that shit that drives them crazy and they just stop all that nonsense.

I just don't like doing it. It's just like yo I shouldn't have to do that because that's not a woman that I want I shouldn't have to trick you into actually just calming yourself down with all that bullshit. Like yo you are who you are you're you what you do outside of this relationship is what you do. I'm happy for it. I don't need that to survive that's the part you're forgetting you most necessarily don't need that for me to survive. But the one thing that we're trying to build together is a bond and a relationship and if that's built correctly neither one of us can survive without that so it's just like yo if I'm approaching it the right way then you're gonna feel the passive aggressive shit that I'm about to do because you're coming at me with all this bullshit the shit that don't even matter to me. Like yes bravo you're an accomplished adult in this world and you feel like that makes you an alpha but that's not how relationships work. That's not how mine gonna work and you won't see that the other side of it is is all these women out here saying oh I'm a hyper independent person and I got I got that you're talking about adult stuff that is talking about me and you I don't even give a fuck about that we're talking about me and you so when it comes to your hyper independence it's just like yo how far does that go are you going to eat your own pussy are you going to cook food for you when you're sick are you gonna am I gonna are you gonna preach uh into yourself are you gonna encourage yourself when certain things are going on are you going to give yourself advice you ain't gonna do none of that and that's what constitutes some of that stuff is what constitutes starting a bond with a person so you could say that's why I say you could say all that bullshit none of that means anything to me you're an accomplished adult that's how I see it I tend to tell somebody that at work and she was like yeah I'm a hyper independent person and that's why I can't you know you know being with a man is is tough for me but what am I but as a man what are you asking your woman to do where any of that stuff means anything not a damn thing that's that's your bragging point and if you let's just say if you always throw in a job in my not a job but what you're doing that's not a relationship our relationship is like yo are we going to do enjoy each other or not that's nothing hyper independent about that.

It wasn't even throwing the job up it was you know I if a guy's gonna talk to me he needs to have a plan like where are we going to go what's he going to do I'm like so what you're telling me is that a guy gets your number and I get on the first couple of days having but how is that hyper independent if he has to tell you what we about to do plan the shit for me motherfucker like if that's if that's if that's how you live in your life not to say I'm gonna go for it but that's how you live in your life you need to be approaching that nigga with that shit.

Hyper Independence And Dating Standards

So that's why I said that I need I want to go to this place for dinner. Okay okay yeah let me set the reservations and blah blah blah blah blah I'm gonna pick you up at seven cool all right cool whatever gotcha how does that be you kind of get what I'm saying like that's the passive shit where they be like I don't know what to do because he just he goes with the whatever whatever like it's not working ambitious enough you don't he's not forceful it's like look at some point if you're making good money how ambitious do you need to be you kind of get what I'm saying like I laugh every time like every time I talk to this chick I'm just like are you serious like oh yeah you know he gotta like she was trying to give me advice on being married she's like you know you need to make sure you keep dating your wife and take all that I said yeah I mean that's the pretty much classic thing that everybody knows that but at the end of the day we're also a team and my wife knows right now the economy ain't built for no no every weekend dates yeah you know what I'm saying hell nah not what fucking uh my shit at Chipotle costing twenty dollars twenty dollars right like and I'm not saying we go to Chipotle so you better wife and keep doing this like my thing is if you're single and you can't even keep a man how you gonna tell me how to keep my woman like you you're literally giving advice of what you want somebody to do with you but not understanding that the fact that you're not in a relationship unless the guy really I mean the guy had a really fun but you give me advice you should do this you should do this that's things you want somebody to do for you but that's that's still a fictitious man because you're going out on these dates you're doing all this other stuff you're you're meeting guys and you can't I'm not gonna say they can't but they're like uh now he didn't set this date and he didn't take me on this trip so now you you you you are you just looking for a sponsor or what like what you look for I'm gonna be honest uh and this is gonna wrap up this episode quite nicely some people just ain't that smart some people are just truly bored with themselves and they are looking for other people to entertain them and get them through the day exactly that's men that's that's men and women because it's just gonna none of that that's why I said none of that shit will none of that when you really think of it none of the shit that they be talking it takes the right type of man man and the intellect now if they disrespecting you then that's why they be on their way but none of that shit moves a relationship a man don't come into a the right man ain't coming into a situation like well I'm a lawyer and I make 300k a uh a year so you should be doing this anything she's just the the lawyer shit and the money is just the cherry on top it's y'all bond and if y'all building the bond none of that other shit even means

Final Takeaways And Father’s Day Wishes

anything.

So if you're leading with that that means that's your best quality and that's probably why you are single because that's your only quality you're not listening you're not being patient you're not being soft you're not being even men too soft when they need to be you're not doing any of the things that will constitute you as a good uh partner you're just a good adult an accomplished adult and that gets you in the door of a relationship it don't even get you far a good bond you know what I mean and that's what it is in my humble opinion but hey if y'all if the the listeners differ you know y'all can uh leave some comments in Spotify and YouTube if y'all want and uh thank everybody for tuning in and uh happy Father's Day.