Smile & Say "Okay"

[00:00:00] section, comfort, knowledge, temperament and shit like that. Even though they're not going to say that shit, they are, I believe they in not inherently but genetically, they already looking to you for that. And when you provide that, that's when they're at their most peaceful and calm and shit.

[00:00:19] So if you're on the argument, unfortunately, you still gotta do that shit. It sucks because they don't never do that shit to us back. They ain't nurturing back when they arguing with us.

[00:00:27] We have to be, you know what I mean? You know, that's like what God, when we're in the argument. Everybody, welcome to another episode of the According To Wes podcast. As always, we got D-Vall here.

[00:00:42] Yep, you got D-Lo, the double sun and law in the building on a Sunday. Hey, look, shout out to my Carl, because that's what he used to come when we used to work in the warehouse. Every time he used

[00:01:00] to be like, Oh, the devil's sun and law. And I'm like, that's weird. But then it just stuck. Then it just stuck. It just stuck like, Oh, damn. Yeah. It happened. You know, sometimes it's something to say to you all the time. The next thing you

[00:01:20] know, it just sticks. You know, it is what it is. I ain't got no cool nickname like that from my friends. You know what? You Wes, that is a cool nickname because none of you know,

[00:01:31] nobody caught you by your first name. True, but you got D-Lo, the double sun and law. Like forever married to the game or something. I'm just saying. It happens sometimes, but I mean, look, you're the only person I know that has a nickname that is their name.

[00:01:59] No, you know you don't because you know if you know somebody named Michael, then nickname is Mike or Mike, Mike, you got, you know, you got all that shit. Your name is

[00:02:09] like my son's name is DJ. So, you know, you got a nickname that's his name plus the junior in it. So, so yeah, I guess I know other niggas that have cool nicknames besides D-Lo, the double sun and

[00:02:28] law. You got to say it like that because it don't make no sense to say it normally. True. So, let's tax season. Do you think we're about to start seeing a bunch of fake asses again?

[00:02:47] That trend is died down when you know, when we get the tax money, they like I'm gonna just use this money to front my whole situation for the new year and maybe I'll land a guy with some money.

[00:02:59] You think that's changing? Oh no, it's not changing at all because they still believe that guys want BBLs. They're still in full, you know, even you know at the end of the day,

[00:03:13] I still haven't figured it out like when you tell a woman exactly what you want and everything else, they still believe that what they think that you want is what you want. So, I'm just like why

[00:03:25] even get into that round with, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. You know what that means? That means like yo and no, I ain't gonna say that. I ain't gonna say it's the fact that they gotta be right.

[00:03:40] It's more that's like I'm not changing what I'm doing so this is the answer. Like I feel like they get their opinion from the minority of guys that want it and assume it's the majority of guys that want it. You think they get their opinion from guys? Yeah.

[00:03:57] No, I don't think so. I think what it is, women's shame, other women so much that they look for them. They look to them for the uh, the uh, what is the word,

[00:04:09] the okay to go ahead to do certain things or they tell their life around what would, I hope this bitch don't call me a slut or call me ugly type shit and that's how they

[00:04:19] make their decisions because I don't think men are saying yo, yeah, go ahead and get that BBL. I don't think men are saying that. I don't think any man is saying that unless you

[00:04:27] know there's no man. Unless you're probably a gay man and maybe he wants one too. Maybe there's no man saying that like it's like I think I saw a meme the other day where where they asked

[00:04:41] these women. I mean mind you a lot of that stuff is clipped, you know, a lot of this clip but it's like all right well do you what do you think men want a BBL or natural? All of them said BBLs

[00:04:54] and it's one of the things where I'm just like I get it why you would think that because guys like women with big butts but they're like no we want natural big butts. Natural big butts, right so if

[00:05:07] you have a naturally big butt that doesn't mean we want someone with a BBL that means we want someone who's all natural like how does that turn into we want only one with BBLs?

[00:05:21] Here's the thing you know I like uh Lynn, you know we prideful and shit like that we we want to have something that not the average guy has so in their head they think I'm like okay big butt

[00:05:34] they like big butts. I don't have a big butt I'm gonna get a big butt so they must like BBLs but the thing is you're still selling your soul short because who wants something that everybody every

[00:05:44] woman can pay for right not every woman but you know what I mean tax time come or you know they do a little bit of whatever whatever they buy down or wherever they buy down to and then boom you come

[00:05:54] back like it seems easy to me I mean yeah you gotta go through the pain and stuff like that and get the money up but as we already discussed on this podcast uh it's easier for women to

[00:06:06] to earn miscellaneous money than it is for men yeah outside of drug dealing. Like I've always said like just because I'm a minority of the guys like women with big butts you can't you can't assume that every guy likes a girl with a big a big butt

[00:06:28] like because see I'm not a guy I'm not a big butt guy I'm a face car guy you know what I'm saying so I want to be able to wake up next to you and know that I married you not because

[00:06:39] you had a big butt but because you were you were pretty you know what I'm saying. I'm a ratio guy so there has to be I have my own mathematical equation mathematical math yeah I

[00:06:51] said that right mathematical equation in my head as far as like what I will go for so it's all those things what is a ratio of certain you know what I mean like the you know oh no I get it I get it

[00:07:02] and feet is one of them so if your feet jacked up well I ain't think about that no more but yo women's feet was jacked up it was just like I know and sometimes man at some

[00:07:12] of the time it was always the best time to check that shit out like you know she's pretty but it looked like she just been stomping on shit like it's not going to work yo

[00:07:25] I get that man it's not gonna work but uh yeah man I don't know why I popped my head shout out to Selena going this shout out the taxes man taxis I'm gonna oh once again it is what it is

[00:07:44] oh once again man oh and I'm I'm like yeah something this the first year I want oh really yeah I mean depending on how I do the taxes for the business um I shouldn't know

[00:08:04] lucky you um because you know since moving to my current job I don't have to worry about anyone doing uh a math of my shit wrong yeah I forgot about that yeah yo I got my w2s in the middle I'm almost afraid to look at them bitches

[00:08:24] because I know one is I know I know I'm at least like five thousand dollars really yeah because I don't do yeah because I don't do um I don't do uh I don't do zero I do one

[00:08:46] if you do one you don't owe nothing what am I doing wrong okay then I'm doing zero I do zero if you do zero you shouldn't owe nothing that's the most you can take out I do one and I owe you do one and you owe

[00:09:05] are you also right so you could do one as uh one means you have one yeah yeah zero means they're taking everything one every good they're taking my highest amount yeah I'm doing one you're doing one I've never owed

[00:09:17] doing a whole thirty five hundred last year really yeah you got your own business or something you're probably you independent contractor like what's going on nope oh thirty five hundred though that's like did something fucking wrong last year but I don't think I did

[00:09:35] I don't I don't get it like no you shouldn't you definitely shouldn't hang on hold you you definitely shouldn't we'll see I'm doing my taxes in April I'm not eager as this is kind of like yo eager to be like all right we need that money

[00:09:59] have you have you uh made the podcast your business and I need to start doing that because I'm doing so much miscellaneous shit outside of this podcast your business yeah and um

[00:10:13] and write it off all the expenses that you do yeah I don't do no then you can write off because because you record at home now you can write off a lot of those bills like your bge if you

[00:10:25] have one and you know your electric and shit like that you can you can write off a lot of shit so yeah no why haven't you been doing that because don't I gotta in order to do that don't I gotta

[00:10:39] like uh you got a file yes ain't that like three thousand dollars no for to get your LLC or some shit like that no I'm gonna do that um so to get to get my LLC through the federal

[00:10:54] government um it was free to get my uh EIN number because I'm talking about like the paperwork and shit how much was the paperwork to do all that because one of my home is 300 tops

[00:11:12] and that was and that was to be recognized in the state of Maryland as a business 300 tops now I don't know how podcasts work as far as because you're broadcasting in more than just

[00:11:26] Maryland but if you make any money with your podcast or um I mean I know you're not not the podcast is not a nonprofit it's something we do at our leisure but um it depends it just depends

[00:11:40] on how you file yeah it might behoove me to start talking to accountants and things that I want to do like I might uh that might be something I start doing um pretty pretty soon just to have one and like

[00:11:57] yo here's all my here's all my questions is what I'm trying to do how much I got to pay you and I would have walked me through some shit and keep it like that and stay away from people actually

[00:12:08] trying to uh fake like they want to manage my money because that's not what I need help in I need help in uh evading and I ain't say that right I need help not evading not evading need help in loopholes you know see what I can do

[00:12:30] that's one of the adults to do this so many things on that fucking list yeah it's one of this oh no I get it I get it I get it 300 you say that's not bad

[00:12:45] I got this one last year I think last year I brought in 300 but that's because I owed 2,500 after all my taxes were done and the business was the one that kept me afloat

[00:12:58] but I could I could have got more back um I just shoot I just chose to um do my taxes where I did because I didn't want to have to like answer for like how am I writing stuff off

[00:13:09] with no sort of um documentation so I'm on the bleep that for your protection but I got you of course yeah that was that was for you even if you get that whole thing I'm just saying I'm just saying that I don't die over I got you yeah

[00:13:32] I didn't expect them to give me the ball have given me the ball in the most unopportuned times I played 2k with uh some randoms last night two games with my player that was the first time I should yeah well yeah I don't know if you

[00:13:50] ever see the stat this stuff I put up in um in the group but um man you send me so much stuff everybody sends me so my wife sends me stuff you send me stuff well this is on the place

[00:14:04] I know no I know I got it sent to my phone now it's just so many notifications not that not that group but just in general that I'm like yo sometimes it'd be days before I get to that shit just because

[00:14:15] I'm doing stuff and my wife was like you see that cat video I sent you well you see that video I say I'm like yo I I'm still making it through fucking uh two days ago I've been

[00:14:25] putting up some uh some 10 20s you know saying so that's you know some you know in some days I some yo and in the wreck I'll focus on the rebound yeah I know they don't know how

[00:14:42] rebound I was playing with some randoms right and every time I got the ball they fucking call time out on me now I wasn't listening to what they were saying because I'm like I don't have

[00:14:50] time for these fuck niggas and get me upset and shit but I was so heated every time like I was about to school time out and I'm like oh my fucking goodness was that this weekend

[00:15:01] no yesterday I was last night oh you know why uh the top 10 was going on um so you know with the top 10 your top your top I mean your top I'm sorry top five your top five wreck games

[00:15:15] or what gets you these rewards and shit so everybody's been like pro lin niggas trying to get they trying to get the uh they the the highest tier they can get to get the

[00:15:27] rewards but they hamper they uh they fuck their own teammates up by not letting them yep we still fucking lost that's that's the stupid shit though did anybody on that team score score 20 piece I don't remember man I was drinking and I listen I have 12 rebounds 10 points

[00:15:51] some shit like that and then the second game was we lost I lost that too and it was like nine points and five some shit like that a couple of six I don't even look to

[00:16:02] even get points since since I've been doing this like I do because I look at it from a standpoint ain't nobody else on this team will get rebounds so I'll get my 20 rebounds and my 10 points if if

[00:16:19] I can get 10 points you know what I'm saying if I can get it cool if I don't is what it is but I'm going to get my 15 to 10 rebounds or 15 you know 10 to 15 rebounds yeah you know what I'm

[00:16:34] saying I'm going to get those so it's not like like even like I was playing earlier today there's a guy on my team like we were dominating the boards when I say the other team that we played

[00:16:47] me and this guy played two games together he um he was getting just as many boards as I was at power forward and I don't think any team we played against in those two games had more than eight boards

[00:17:03] that game and me and him on the first game had 10 a piece you know what I'm saying so we had 10 a piece and then on the set on the next game

[00:17:16] we had both I had 19 he had 19 so that's that's 38 uh boards to another team's eight so we were uh we were dominating honestly the boards and in my head that is all you can ever ask for as

[00:17:37] as a big man is for someone that can dominate the boards with you like if you can't get the board they got the board you know what I'm saying uh I mean it was to a point where I think honestly he

[00:17:48] was just giving me boards because I think he was just he was always in better position I gotta I gotta put in I gotta put in more work yeah yeah like if these if these guys what I'm playing with right now decide they're going to uh pass me

[00:18:08] the ball one more time and so I can score then I'll get I'll have my 10 points I just gotta get one more rebound which I'm in a third quarter with three minutes left in the third quarter

[00:18:21] so I'm going to get 10 rebounds that's easy uh I have nine of my team's 13 rebounds so it isn't like uh it is impossible I'm gonna need to put a shout out these niggas

[00:18:39] I'd be hating like they'd be wide open and they'd be trying to play smart basketball by holding the ball but I'm like it's 24 second clock and when the third quarter scored a

[00:18:47] fucking ball like come on and we're down by uh we're down by points like more but anyway so yeah the struggles of being a big man instead of a small forward listen yeah and the thing is everybody wants you yeah everybody does want to shoot everybody wants

[00:19:15] everybody wants to shoot but very few people want to win the fucking game they treat me like it's like it's college basketball like I don't give a fuck really you know they don't you don't care if they win so big numbers are good they go on to the

[00:19:31] fucking league right that's literally what it boils down to you like that's that's how the rec is like all right well shit my stats are good yeah yeah I was the reason we lost yeah yeah

[00:19:42] it's lost I ain't lose right you told me being above uh we're gonna play the game we'll play the half and shit I'm like yeah this is gonna be my last game because I know my wife's gonna be like

[00:19:55] yo like let's go to bed type shit like she was like oh I'm gonna go for dinner what you mean you thought I was cooking dinner you said she was cooking dinner yeah I was cooking dinner

[00:20:04] I wouldn't want to the bar you know what I'm saying like I'm already sourced up yeah I'm already sourced up hey look these niggas are yelling at me about these three second

[00:20:26] yeah not could look because every time they call that shit fast as shit though man I'm like god damn but when you plan on uh like a career every now and then yeah oh hey mrs. Smith how are you

[00:20:44] that mrs. Smith said uh she had some things that she got to get off of a chair no joking I wrote him down she wrote him down I wrote him down I wrote him down

[00:20:58] uh I wrote him down Valentine's Day it was time for Valentine's Day I'm gonna make her a nice little special dish um you know uh I've been prepping for it I brought a third of the ingredients for it

[00:21:17] and hopefully it comes out good you know it's you know it's something that I've cooked a couple times and hope that I you know in the long run made it you know make it good this time yeah

[00:21:37] so I thought fuck up a dish I got one more try and after that try I'm not wasting my money I'm not wasting my money to someone more skilled shows me how to do this shit or instruct speed

[00:21:46] because there's no way like I did that was some fucking pot roast uh what was it two weeks maybe like a month ago shit came out trash and I was at uh it was from so I was that but basically

[00:22:00] you know how they get you the little shit just let's go this shit in the oven or the whatever like it came with fucking red potatoes baby carrots and shit and it's all seasoned and I was like

[00:22:10] if I fuck this up if I fuck this up I don't have no business doing this shit no more it came out alright um I bastardized it and put some uh chick filet sauce on the

[00:22:25] when I was when I was done cooking I chopped it up and shit and I made my plate I just did some chick filet sauce on that motherfucker and boom roast beef chick filet sauce on the side

[00:22:37] carrots potato I'm quite was like what are you doing I'm like yo it tastes good it's good I fuck a roasted barbecue which one you do man I ain't I ain't mad at that hey it's not too often you get somebody that can make roast

[00:22:56] beef with chick filet sauce out here yeah that shit was wrong that shit was wrong since I've been getting that shit from the grocery store I'm in a chick filet sense but they got chick filet sauce at the grocery store yeah that's where I get it from you

[00:23:12] think I'm you think I'm saving the damn packets from chick filet I'm not coming I'm not gonna lie I really thought you were saving a package no man yo

[00:23:28] like even though the the mumbo sauce that you get is in the same oh checks mumbo sauce is in the same mile yeah I gave both of them things I get the sweet the sweet spicy mumbo sauce

[00:23:40] I give the chick filet sauce yeah shout out to my man mumbo sauce Chuck you know so I know he gone but he's not forgotten because we still buy his products most definitely are yeah most definitely yeah that shit on everything yeah like right uh what's

[00:23:59] that like Mike's where's go Mike's right outside some shirt yo have you had the hot honey shit y'all put that with the jalapeno I haven't brought it yeah I got something I bought the shit from fucking um

[00:24:13] might have been Costco I put that on um what did I put that on it just made that motherfucker shit happen I forget what it was but yeah that's shit sitting up in the

[00:24:24] in the cabinet I just thought about that god damn I need to mix on with that so um because you know once you got honey and you got that shit open once it starts going that once

[00:24:36] they get hard that's a wrap that is a wrap it's starting crystallizing this shit and it's turning to like sugar that is a wrap we gotta uh jump there right now I'm like right

[00:24:56] well Valentine's Day is around the corner and you know since we're married we can't do that I'm uh start a fight with you and um and break out with them wow yeah

[00:25:11] can't do that can't do that but um since we can't do that and we've both been married for a while now I think me more than you right yeah you've been married yeah

[00:25:25] which are you like three years we're three years of some change yeah I think on five or six one of them I don't remember I just remember the date I know that sounds crazy but

[00:25:38] not too crazy I'll never forget I survived the marriage and I on this city talking about it wow you guys are amazing she said we're amazing oh my gosh are we black women ever surviving marriage surviving I'm thriving in that I'm surviving the uh the attitude

[00:26:04] it's not that that's not the part that that scares me this is like I did what I said what I ain't mean it like that that's what I'm she said it's beautiful because we're making it work and talking about how we're making it work

[00:26:24] man that's why I love Mrs. Smurf all right we well I appreciate it D-Lo appreciate it too you know he ain't saying I always appreciate it oh uh oh so we we'll we about to get into the into the question of the day huh yeah why not

[00:26:51] what is the but yeah since we've been married for a while Valentine's Day was around the corner we are no longer doing the uh break up for a while and just listen that because it does not work

[00:27:05] right it costs you much money to break up when you're married not really if Mrs. Smith said down the drain with with a statement that I was about to make I was about to say see this is what you do but I'm not gonna say that

[00:27:26] it costs you much money to get a divorce so no uh yeah I talk to the yeah I get no don't but um I'm flat I'm flat I'm flat I don't know nothing about that what is the most important thing you have

[00:27:45] learned about conflict resolution in your marriage I will say the the the biggest thing I've learned is forgiveness to give everything yeah pretty much you just so and imagine I have a whole list of things that uh Mrs. Smith had talked

[00:28:07] to me about when I asked her this question um but yes forgiveness of all the things that we did talk about is probably one of the most important things and that and the reason for that is because

[00:28:24] if you can't do that then the rest of everything she put on this list doesn't matter if that makes sense you know what I'm saying it's like one of those things where uh um so she has on this list say okay and smile I can't do that

[00:28:55] I'm like yo nah sometimes y'all just gotta hear what needs to be said because it's kind of like I can't just yes okay as well just like yeah I can't you just yes okay as well there's no way there is no way I'm feeling already

[00:29:15] there is no way so the second one was communication true which entails listening and not cutting each other off or dominating or dominating the conversation very true repeating this shit over and over

[00:29:34] I got this babe I got this my lord she's like did you write this shit right I told us that she could come on in and say exactly what she wanted to say

[00:29:46] but she's like I don't want to be on it what's that um also in this was no when to to step in if the person is repeating the same thing over and over and dominating the conversation you listen to that shit enough and they keep saying the same

[00:30:06] shit and try to make the same point enough is enough there you go you hear that number three was forgiveness which I thought was the most important yes number four is realizing

[00:30:23] when it's not that serious and letting stuff go so in the grand scheme of it picking your battles true uh number five which I wrote a definitely how am I just reading let the spouse sleep

[00:30:44] without asking questions or kissing them not putting in not poking them in the ire knows why they are trying to sleep yo that's the yo that's the second part that's the second part is dear

[00:30:58] dear to me because yo mom sometimes my wife hand me under my pillow and I'd be like yo what are you doing what she like she got her nails she a roll over and smack me in the face or

[00:31:09] you know get me in the nose on the lip on the mouth I'm like yo I'm sorry and it goes right back to sleep but I'm like god damn yeah see what my wife does is if she's awake and she's watching

[00:31:22] the show and I go to sleep we're not saying anything about this nor what I'm saying is what I'm saying is like look at she threw me off what I'm saying is

[00:31:46] when I be trying to sleep all right when I be trying to sleep and it is not what she'd be like oh you snoring she'd be like oh yeah um you know like oh I was watching the show she like she'd be

[00:32:02] watching her shows and I'd be like all right well I'm about to go to sleep because I'm like all right well I try to do what I pose a dude and you know see if I can give me a little bit of that

[00:32:10] poom poom you know what I'm saying and uh what are you saying but then then then then I start falling asleep and she starts poking me so I just wanted to make sure I didn't know if you were

[00:32:22] sleeping or not you know I was god damn sleep you knew I was asleep why you can't put your head she don't want to she wants you don't want to physically position you so she's like I'm gonna

[00:32:34] help you out you're gonna position yourself with your ground man oh that's crazy I thought it was because you were snoring like she's like nah get the fuck up I'm watching my show get up get up that's okay I'll care about these two bitches fighting each other

[00:33:01] get out I mean look and then when she wakes me up very erratically like that my initial thing is the biter so number six is uh don't go to bed angry that was mine

[00:33:26] don't go to bed angry yeah I thought I said even no matter how how upset or bother I am with her I'd never go to bed angry I'm like you know babe I love you and you mean a lot to me and she'd be

[00:33:37] like this whatever nigga and she rolled over black well you might not say whatever nigga but you'd be like that is whatever nigga niggaterms it really is it is she said the quiet part quiet

[00:34:11] number seven is uh fuck Kim fuck her don't let it get under your skin okay and number eight is it's okay to walk away to think before you respond true I got that one so

[00:34:29] that is that those are the eight that we came up with yo what was number two again number two was communication uh which until is listening and not cutting each other off no what

[00:34:39] was number one then um say okay and smile no what was number three it was one of those I was like number three was forgiveness okay no I wasn't like you said number five number five when uh

[00:34:52] let your spouse sleep no what was number two again my bad communication when we were talking about um uh letting the other you listening to each other late and not cutting each other off but if

[00:35:07] someone is repeating the same thing over and over that's what it was yeah so so the repeating thing that shit's hard because it's kind of like sometimes when you need to hear the moment of the conversation you are not in the mind frame to even understand what the

[00:35:25] fuck they're saying and that's on both parties so it's kind of like sometimes me personally I gotta hit that shit three four or five different times maybe six different ways and I'd be like

[00:35:35] okay I understand because all I see is A and B and C so it's kind of like you keep saying A and B I know C happened that's why I'm at C happened I need to know why A and B happened like just don't be

[00:35:50] you know I mean so I get that aspect what man oh man y'all stuff was kind of similar to mine I ain't had eight things though but it look does you know you know I try to do it in my best

[00:36:01] pillow talk way while she was like kind of like a little like a little taking a nap so I figured you gotta watch me was napping yeah so I figured it would be a little bit easy like well you know

[00:36:11] okay no as soon as I asked is she hooked up like oh she's like no I didn't know what is she was like oh maybe you about to learn something today I need to aid in this uh this education right now

[00:36:27] that's pretty much what it was down to that's like oh damn so would I get myself into and she had a whole lot to say and she and she made sure I wrote it down verbatim yeah not not not not not not not

[00:36:41] short handing it not should go to the right no no no I saw you stop writing I need you to write that part too it's like I think she's like we did back to me

[00:36:56] but I got it all down and I knew when it came time to record that she would be delirious so I wasn't too bothered about missing anything because you knew she was gonna have your back right I need to go and have my back

[00:37:14] and just like she asked me to cut the chicken I had already cut the chicken I even put the flour out for her so that she could uh you know if she wants to flour it up

[00:37:24] and put it in the grease and fry it you know I was trying to help with dinner a little bit you know I'm saying do you all the trying to get the brownie points of course you know that's what life is sometimes

[00:37:38] conflict resolution he did something wrong she hasn't figured out yet I ain't done nothing wrong yet I ain't done nothing wrong some of y'all stuff was uh a lot of y'all stuff was similar to mine like y'all had a

[00:37:58] he I'm some of the stuff was similar to mine like I was saying earlier like uh like we're married so we can't use the same tactics that we did when we were like eight and nine spouse so you know our current spouse or whatever have you like

[00:38:13] that shit is uh that shit is done because you can't do that shit no more can't get them like the I'm gonna give them a day or two to chill and don't contact them

[00:38:22] can't do that shit y'all live together you know what I mean like that's not gonna work you know if you want to if you want one or two days and y'all just not saying something to each other inside

[00:38:31] that's crazy yeah and with the right woman or with the right man you asking for you asking for a con you asking for arguments or someone yelling at you and you not saying nothing back the whole time

[00:38:44] like right yeah so that was one of mine just like the tactics uh you know the tactics that you were doing your early adult years that shit don't work um so I've learned that um

[00:39:02] I learned that on yeah I'm gonna say I learned that on my own but that's something that I've learned well in my life and you know try not to act like a person is replaceable you know what I mean

[00:39:12] like the attitude is like I don't know the fuck wrong with you like that type of shit because I've had that attitude a couple times before where it's just like and that shit

[00:39:21] would really hurt her feelings I'm like no but you never replace bottle made it that way I don't know why I'm not you know it's like it's like force of like I'm not a habit but more or less like

[00:39:28] it was a reflex like nothing blah blah blah blah and I only know why you mad you mad for no reason like I will like if my wife my if my wife is bothered by something I will not respond

[00:39:44] but that's more or less because I I don't want to say something that's gonna make it worse so I'd rather think about what I'm going to say so sometimes you feel like well you need to say something

[00:39:54] I'm like well I like to hear what you had to say and then and then think about it and then come back and make my you know my statement I know it makes her mad too but it was I need that

[00:40:08] type that shit right away if it's me because I'm like let's speed this up I ain't got time because usually with me I'm not even mad no more like after like 30 minutes of your shit I don't

[00:40:18] stay mad but see that's how I am this is like once I say what I need to say I'm good I would like oh well you know I mean you know I mean I guess I guess women are a little different

[00:40:33] than men when it comes to that but of course I just I just look at it from a standpoint of if would you rather me say some out of emotion and then it make you even matter would you

[00:40:48] rather me think this out and and understand what you're coming from to be able to respond in appropriate manner that I now understand what you're saying but I also want to say what I want to say

[00:41:04] so that you understand where I'm coming from based on the scenario and how it was going down you know saying and that's how I kind of look at it and don't worry it does piss her off

[00:41:13] if it's a whole list the crazy thing about that I've been in that situation not with my wife but with like X toxic X in the passenger she would say like that same thing like you act like you don't have no emotion and this this and that and

[00:41:31] like she wanted me like whenever there was argument she wanted me to like it like I guess I ain't gonna say she liked the heat of the moment I shit I don't know maybe she did

[00:41:38] but it was more or less like I took that approach or whatever she was like and I was like look I just don't want to call you out your name and it get worse she was like do that because I know you feeling

[00:41:48] something or this this and that blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I'm like I'm not doing that I said it's gonna be mean yeah because I'm a girl I would never do this call my wife out of her name

[00:42:00] this wasn't my wife I was like I'm gonna call you all types of dirties and all types of this this and that you're not gonna like that and I'm gonna tell you to fuck out like like what's the

[00:42:09] point of all that like you don't want me hotheaded you want me trying to understand the situation because I will go there you're feeling it'll be heard you'll be crying and I might have to fight

[00:42:19] one of your brothers just because you might lie and say he hit me like that's how that shit starts like I refuse to ever call my wife out of there like even though

[00:42:34] the most I ever does call her fool but like my wife would tell me like I've been called every sort of bitch slut hoe in the book it doesn't bother her but I still don't even want to try that

[00:42:47] because coming from me might might hit different than it coming from like somebody who she expects it from and because I've never done that before you know what you're being a bitch and it might

[00:43:02] it might hit different and it might it might stir something up and you know next thing I know I'm talking to you about being in the single life again I prefer I prefer not to be in that situation

[00:43:15] so I refuse I don't call her out her name I always you know even even when we are arguing I guess you would call it I still will still babe or call her by her first name or Mrs. Smith you know like

[00:43:33] still in a manner of like so she knows like I'm still calm about this whole thing I'm not bothered by anything I'm just trying to figure out what's going on yeah and even then even then

[00:43:47] like you doing that it says a lot about you too because it's kind of like yo you calling her that and you think she's that but you married her right like that's a that's

[00:43:59] like a mindfuck so it's one of those things I would never do it for the reason that you stated and for that because it's kind of like yo oh Mary fucking sluts like that's nothing I do

[00:44:08] I'm not even putting myself in that mental space like I know it's not true so I'm not even going to go to extra mile to somewhat put that in existence even though it's not in existence you get what I

[00:44:27] mean I'm not going to even so yeah that's why I was like it gets to that point where yeah I would never do that it's not it gets to that point I would never do that

[00:44:35] I agree with that a lot of you agree with that but that's just you know that's just that's just me I don't know how other guys are in their marriage listen I've heard things and when they get angry

[00:44:48] just things just get said and I'm like man that person's always gonna remember that man it was woman you know what I mean like it's just certain things that just shouldn't not get get said

[00:45:00] like it like if you want if you won't say it and it's mean yeah yeah like I always look at if I'm gonna say some mean and you know then I'm then that means I just if I'm going to say that to her

[00:45:22] I no longer care about this marriage and I'm ready to be out and that's how I kind of look at calling her out her name and everything else like if that if I'm if I'm to that point and obviously

[00:45:35] I've already thought about not being in this marriage anymore that I'm like I'm ready to roll like and that's why I'm like I'm never ready to roll because I love my wife you know what I'm saying

[00:45:46] true you know I would never do it because I have a certain things that a woman should not call me and that's just what it is I told you know the story ended the relationship off a bitch I was

[00:45:57] like we done just like that I ain't never fucking look back I was like nah we see we're not gonna do that it's not the same when you hit with the car door right and hit her with no car so you keep saying

[00:46:09] that I didn't hit her with the car yeah I know you didn't hit her every year I did not hit her in the way of the door while I was opening the car

[00:46:21] she's no that's not what happened I clean this up every year she tried to put her foot underneath the car underneath by the wheel the the tire or whatever so I wouldn't drive off and if I did

[00:46:34] I would roll over her foot and then she held on to the fucking door as I'm trying to like turn to the left to move out the way turn to the right to move out the way so I creeped it and

[00:46:45] I slammed on the brakes and she rolled I didn't hit her she was on the side of the car I held her up I walked her to the to her door I got in the car and I fucking left and I ain't

[00:46:58] seen her since actually I did see her since she was I ain't gonna tell her what story she was working at but I seen her recently like a couple years ago working at a store I ain't gonna

[00:47:08] say where but I'm clearing that up I did not fucking get no girl with a car come on that was crazy they did not do that another thing I learned since the title has changed you gotta change how

[00:47:22] you approach things and that there's a level of care which each conversation because they are looking to you uh they should be they're looking to you for everything not not in a dependent

[00:47:35] type of way but you know they're looking to you for protection comfort uh knowledge uh uh your temperament and shit like that even though they're not gonna say that shit they are and I believe they

[00:47:48] in not inherently but genetically they already looking to you for that and when you provide that that's when they're at their most peaceful and calm and shit so if you're on the argument unfortunately you still gotta do that shit it sucks because they don't never do that

[00:48:01] shit to us back they ain't nurturing back when they argue with us but we have to be you know I mean you know that type of guy when we're in the argument with them so or when there's conflict so it's just

[00:48:13] like that's one thing that I've learned that shit is uh sometimes it's very hard to do when um you know you feel like uh this is some bullshit you know what I mean yeah fuck it that's one

[00:48:28] of our things just say fuck it that's not how that should work here because I don't never really mean fuck it that's the thing I don't really be I'd be frustrated with the

[00:48:41] situation that's happening more than I'd be mad at what happened does that make any sense like because I know I'm not about to get on the playstation I'm is this gonna take three hours

[00:48:52] I'm already sleepy I did just you know I might have just already made a drink my drink still downstairs like stupid shit like that I'm like yeah and I worked tomorrow so it's like

[00:49:02] fuck I need to resolve this and my night is done I know that sound crazy but that's how I be over sometimes it'd be like that now uh and then I think I had another uh listen to what they are

[00:49:19] listen to what they are not saying and listen more to what they are saying right so sometimes they don't even know like even me sometimes I don't even know what I'm mad at until like as we

[00:49:31] actually talking about I'm like oh I'm mad at this and vice versa like sometimes you're saying the thing that triggered you but you don't know why it triggered you or you say anything that got

[00:49:39] you mad but you don't know why it got you mad and sometimes it didn't even you sometimes are not even there for is this the fact that you was angry because of something the other day and

[00:49:47] you know that triggered you but that something that happened the other day was at work I wasn't at home right or you know this made you think about old memory like stupid shit like that

[00:49:58] like I've learned to listen to more about what they're not saying so usually with me when it comes to certain things I sometimes ask questions around the thing that's happening not necessarily about

[00:50:13] what's wrong with you was blah blah blah I'm like do you think uh you know do you think I think you don't something you know what I mean I'm trying to prove I guess proven questions and

[00:50:23] show like that just to see if I get this shit out yeah proven questions babe you hear that are you okay yeah I mean she's right I learned I've learned that because that are you okay

[00:50:36] she just burns them the fuck up but that shit works for us though just simply asking are we okay is the best thing to do for us oh yeah of course it and it's shitty that that's the bar

[00:50:49] that's low because no one really okay but that shit just kind of just like does something for us but I guess since woman here are you okay all the time in life nigga no I ain't okay like

[00:51:03] I get it I get that aspect yeah man those my those to be honest those are my main three of course like those I mean I take communication and and forgiveness as a as a given there's no way you

[00:51:19] should not have that in any type of relationship you know mother mother daughter you know husband wife any type of relationships you always have communication and forgiveness because how else are

[00:51:29] you you know how is the y'all making that shit work but those are those are the things that I that I've learned also learned and I probably didn't say keep up people out your business yeah

[00:51:47] and also people keep out of people out your business and also if you want to go talk to somebody about something talk to people that are for your marriage and not against your marriage

[00:52:02] because I got a home in my homeboy confide each other about certain things and stuff like that and even though even though I don't think he should be married to his wife I never say to him

[00:52:17] I never say to him yo you should divorce your wife I'm like yo if y'all love each other I want you to work that shit out because you know that's not my wife he he sees something that

[00:52:26] heard that he feels like he should be with her you know and vice versa and have children on the other hand there are some things that if I told you you will probably be like

[00:52:35] and miss nipple probably like he don't need to be worth right but he loves her I'm his friend I love him so the only thing I could say is yo if you want to make it work

[00:52:49] make it work I want you to make it work you know I mean you gotta have to work you gotta have people that's there for you and shit like that because at the end of the day you know they

[00:53:00] should be able to trust your judgment they should be able to know that you want to do his right for yourself and I know he'll ultimately do his right for himself but right so yeah those uh that's a bunch of stuff that I've been learning over the years

[00:53:17] I haven't quite ironed everything out as far as like how quickly I come to those uh I use those uh those tools and and that knowledge but right is there is definitely there

[00:53:34] also and it's off the cuff too which uh this is something I don't do but I'm thinking about it um I think I have to argue me depending on how bad it is you know show us some food or something

[00:53:46] the next day I don't know I say do that the same day the same day no you know I've just happened that night before bed so I'm not I'm not doing it the same thing eating eating is like the

[00:54:00] best remedy yeah it is I don't do that I don't practice that when I'm now I'm thinking about it I'm like yeah if my wife if I was mad at my wife about something and I told her and she was like

[00:54:11] okay and she was like hey babe let's go get some food I forget what I was gonna say she was like let me put my shoes on who we going all right all right let's let's let's all right let's go get

[00:54:23] some food here's what it is yeah I'm saying it is what it is sometimes sometimes that food is the best remedy fuck yeah you don't think something is a smell oh she oh she said yes as she's chopping on some chips

[00:54:43] I want some chips now too I made some fucking fluid as nachos not a couple hours ago it was it was good but it was trash at the same time I had the wrong type of cheese I had a three cheese blend and I just

[00:55:01] do that shredded cheese over these uh these tortilla chips and the parts that were cheddar was good the parts that weren't was not yeah it happens okay I was speaking of chips nachos I need to expand my fucking recipe

[00:55:27] my personal recipe book so would you wait making for your wife for valentine out there I ain't making nothing oh listen I'll probably go order something that we eat that shit in the house

[00:55:42] and I do some other shit no it's it now I don't think about it the reason why I'm not making anything my wife was like headed that shit she was like yo I just want my hair done but when she says that it

[00:55:54] ain't this shit that it ain't that I want my hair done that she would get her hair done she wants her hair done like she would never get her hair done so this is going to be like three

[00:56:02] to four five hundred dollars when she gets her hair done it's two hundred dollars it's like you always they always try and work you but I'm just like yo that's why I always have like

[00:56:10] yo how much does this shit cost um I gotta find out I'm like I already know what the fuck this is so no I am not cooking all right already knows gonna cause $14-$1500

[00:56:26] nah come on now fuck is that 14th nah I ain't go oh she pulling up right now I could say this now before she walk on the door listen I am not paying no more than $400 now I could say that

[00:56:38] she would hear that and my wife will make it short of this $400 that's how she is I'm paying no more than $399 $399 $399 he said it's all to look my wife's doing all I know is whenever it comes down to something my wife has this innate ability just to choose

[00:57:00] the most expensive shit and it's not like she's planning to choose the most expensive shit she could not see something and she she could not know what it is and somebody could say

[00:57:10] choose one of these and she would just magically pick the most expensive one it happens all the fucking time I remember one time not one time I told my wife like yo uh I said something I said

[00:57:26] yo your ring cannot be your gazing ring cannot be more than blah blah blah blah blah I said no more than she was like I'm going for the limit I said yo she say that but she came back

[00:57:39] with around so how much is this and she told I said I said no more she was like but I really liked this and I was like how much is it and it was damn near at it was at the limit I'm like

[00:57:49] yo you're I was like you're playing the number you can't expect me to come on risk you're not to marry me she can't even respect the pockets right away if I would have said something crazy this is your max come on now y'all don't want to hear

[00:58:09] this is y'all hold up what did I say I said yeah don't go above right you said I would have said this is this is how much I'm spending it don't sound very equal to yeah it don't sound right if

[00:58:20] I say this is this is how much it should be man go over the number that you gave her huh did she go over the number that you gave her yo let me see she was slightly she was slightly over because she walked out of the door now

[00:58:39] she was slightly over and then it was like oh we're going in some free earrings too right so I'm like yo they didn't throw those in for free you pay for those

[00:58:50] and she was like nah I was like yes think about it if the ring was this and they do that in you pay for those and I was like why aren't they my earrings I'm paying for them and she was like but I really

[00:59:01] like these I said I like them too I don't got them earrings yeah I didn't I didn't I didn't I was like yo cool right you gave her the rings that I thought people like and a price rings I

[00:59:15] knew I could afford and I told her here's the rings you can pick from I knew I could afford I just didn't want to I know that sound crazy this is like yo I just I mean fuck you mean you know you got to

[00:59:26] be a man of your word at that point I'm like fuck I'm like yo is this and I don't get the fucking earrings mad as hell mad as hell it was all good she loves that fucking ring hey but live on

[00:59:43] the bright side she loves the ring though yeah and she loves you 99.9% of the time yeah I know that works that other time is like fuck you and walk away that's this you gotta have that one percent where

[01:00:08] you just say it and you walk away and you mean that shit fuck you and walk away I'm just glad she's never said that to me rumble it under my breath take this nigga yeah hey yo thank goodness we ain't my readers because she's Louise

[01:00:35] oh yeah she's Louise we all be we all be in trouble we all be in trouble sometimes you need those sacred thoughts to yourself saying the quiet part quiet I'll be here my wife

[01:00:51] and nigga I'm like this my fucking I'll be here in her yep she be thinking I don't I'll be here in her he's dropping that's what you mind your business you don't even turn the tv up you keep it down on

[01:01:08] like three and ease drive one every day turn the tv up in my your business she be forgetting that uh when you put your earpiece in all the volume comes to your earpiece so it she can't hear what's being said in my ear

[01:01:26] she can only see that there's no volume coming out of the tv oh you got bluetooth yeah hello the fucking you you know i tv got that shit too and I never fucking utilize that shit

[01:01:41] I need to start all she's seen is a bunch of animated guys running up running down the court shooting the ball some green markers show up on the tv she can't hear that these guys are

[01:01:52] cursing me out for not being good at all yeah I was just talking about wife this same shit last night man I was just I just don't want to hear that shit tonight because it should be getting you so mad sometimes because I like you be wanting to

[01:02:09] fight these motherfuckers but they not real motherfuckers right like they would never say that shit to your face yeah at least most of what none of them would yeah as a man you it don't even

[01:02:23] feel right arguing with another man about something like that video game over yeah over like that's what I'm saying they would never do that if running this thing and you're having these these kids be

[01:02:33] over here be wild oh oh my gosh y'all you fucking sucks give me the balls I'm like I should be listening to him like are you serious like dude you're not saying he didn't drop yet

[01:02:47] I tell you the story I was probably calling you the other day and this dude was old it was a kid on there and this dude was like um he said put your dad he said put your daddy on the microphone

[01:03:01] whooped your ass tired of you talking like that I was like yo oh my fucking goodness mine I was like I've not heard some shit like that in a long time because in the early days of video games

[01:03:16] it was fucking crazy like online it was crazy especially on xbox you was definitely getting called a nigga by a white boy oh yeah constantly I was like damn I heard it the other day

[01:03:29] man that's how I stay off of xbox line is that's when you get it at the most Sony you kind of you you kind of is hidden miss but god damn man I do not miss them early days

[01:03:42] and then when it was easy to uh I don't know if you know about this like like we had a minute like uh this is like still high school and shit because uh the online wasn't

[01:03:53] as popular but people can get your address real real easy and I didn't know that and they was doing basically they was checking your cable providers in the area and doing some other shit so they would threaten you with your address all the fucking time I'm just like

[01:04:10] yeah they ain't doing this shit on that note them niggas don't got a good conflict resolution no they don't why they probably yelling at the game because they can't yell the person they want to yell at they also probably ain't getting no pussy because there's no way

[01:04:30] I'm gonna fight through a game that I don't even know right I'm not a gamer somebody I don't know and I'm getting some like come on good I'm like this what am I yelling about I'm out of the

[01:04:42] log off have sex with a beautiful woman and then that's what it's gonna be that's what it's gonna be yeah very much that's what it's gonna be and they could be right for tuning in and then tuning in for this discussion

[01:05:08] and uh yeah like and subscribe all that good stuff yeah and keep your marriage together talk talking forget but if it's talks to get out them see you next time