Wes & DeLaw | What Your Choices Reveal Under Pressure

Betting Pain And Blown Leads

Everybody, welcome to another episode of the According West Podcast. As always, we have D Law here.

D have D Law. I lost a lot of money back on the Spurs.

You fucker. Yo, the Spurkins the second game. I was like, I think the Knicks got this. And now I consider the Spurs the underdogs. The second game. Because they weren't blowing them out. It was just bare, they would just barely win it. And the Spurs was doing uh foolish, making foolish mistakes. Like Wimby with his weird bailout passes for the first three games. You know what I mean? The fourth game, he kind of got it together and shit.

I've never seen a team lead by figures so many times in a game to lose at the very end of the game. Like game one, I kind of understood it. You got your nerves, y'all and stuff. But game two, y'all should have bust their ass. Y'all they should have won game one and game two. And game three. Game three, they won.

That series, that series came down to uh who had the who were who was smarter. Yeah, who because um I'm gonna I'm still gonna stand by. I feel like the Spurs had the better uh team as far as talent and skill-wise. I think it just didn't happen. I'm not gonna say the better team, team, team, not players team.

Yeah, the better team, but they also had made so many late mistakes. And don't get wrong, like when you when you look at even De Aaron Fox's last second debacle, it's it's I'm not gonna say it's understandable, but you kind of almost understand it because you when you think about Nathan moment, the first thing I thought was if he gets this and he makes this live, this game is pretty much over. You know what he did?

Not if I hold it and make the free throws of this game is pretty much over.

And in the heat of the in that in that heat of that moment, you're running down and you're getting the ball, you're right there by the round.

Yeah.

And one, I figured they would they would have called the Falcon. He gave them body before he touched the ball. So it should it technically should have been free throws.

Yeah.

But leading up to that, Wendy missed two free throws. Um, Dylan missed four free throws. Like there's a whole lot of things that led up to that, that you can't put it all on box. You gotta put it on the whole team because the whole team in moments where you need to win things that you need done, they didn't deliver.

Yeah, no, I put it uh, I put it on the whole team. I never um put that any of that situation uh solely on um the Aaron Fox only because uh game two or three, he was cooking. Yeah. No, it's game two, he was cooking. Um I mean that's it's just they they didn't play they didn't play smart in the

How To Close With Better Pace

coach. I uh he might get fired because there's there was countless times where I'm like, yo, you have you're not talking to them to say, hey, stop doing this, look out for this, slow down the pace, because you don't have to play play fast pace with them. When you're up, you control that game. And it was like you was up 16 and still felt that you needed to rush down the court, down the court, right? Rush uh possessions and stuff like that. I'm like, what's I don't know what's going on.

I mean, because you know they tried the formula, what they did was they tried the formula that the pacers used.

And what the Pacers did was they pressured Bronson. They pressured him the whole way down the floor, made them work, they pushed the floor ball down the floor, and they did they were they were high paced, but what they but the pacers also knew how to slow that game down. So when they when they were up, there was only they knew there was no need for that.

Yeah, you up 16 smart at this point as like quality shots. Get back on defense because they're gonna be on the other end of the the the pushing you down the floor. But when you it's your when it's your game, is your game.

Because with three minutes to spare and you up by 16, even if it goes 3, 2, 3, 2 back and forth all the time, you get two, they get three. That is still 16 possessions that they have to do that in three minutes.

Yeah.

Now, is it possible? Of course. It is completely possible to come back quicker.

Probable.

Probable if you slow the game down, use the climb, you you you shorten the game. So you get two and they come down, they take a quick three. Okay, so of that three minutes that you have left, it's gonna be six seconds in it. You use 20 seconds of that, they use 10. That's still half of that's half a minute that's been used. So now you do it again. That's two possessions in one minute. That means they need at least 16 possessions. They need at least 16 possessions, give or take. To come back, because for every two you get, they get three. That's just a a plus one at one point that they're bringing it down. Then you get another two, and you're bringing it down by one. They need uh all those possessions.

Yeah.

So now does it hurt that and eventually you gotta take a three? Yeah, but sometimes you just gotta play, you gotta try, you gotta take your uh your chances, you know.

I mean, that's the unsexy part of uh team play. You know what I mean? Yeah. Motherfuck, I mean not motherfuckers, but they you know, you're worried about the offense and the defense and the stops and stuff like that, but sometimes it it it it boils down to uh can you uh can you make the points that you need to make?

Refs, No Calls, And Flopping

Well, I still think it was called uh tab it unfairly, a tad bit slighted. Yeah, I don't think the reps got a good hold of a lot of the stuff early.

So like oh, you mean like the the yanking of uh Wimby by everybody?

Right.

Yeah at some point, and I get it, it's the NBA finals, you don't want to be but this is all blatant on TV in all the slow modes, and not even on all the slow modes where he's like, oh, he got his arm. I forget who one time somebody had his leg. I'm like, how the fuck?

Yeah. That's the NBA, that's the NBA calling out and saying, hey, look, we know that uh MB's in here, he's a dominant player, so kind of they they called out and said, let some stuff go. But you know, if it's blatant, call it. But they weren't even calling the blade and stuff. Yeah, like he when he smushed Jalen Brunson, I was like, Jalen Brunson had that one covered. You will you would literally hold it up.

Yeah, got you off.

Like, and at that point, it's like, do you do you make a point to tell let everybody know by calling those early holding files to be like, hey, look, I'm a lady. That's what we do something, but you can't be holding a whole thing of his jersey. He ran away and you pulling the jersey with him, but I got you gotta call it.

Yeah, you think they didn't call it because of uh what they said for OKC, no flopping?

Wendy wasn't flopping, he was going through it.

Yeah.

I can see if he was flopping, flailing his arm. Wimby wasn't flopping.

Wimby was no, I'm talking about um for OKC. The the previous uh the previous uh series. That's how because that that might have that might have been why they lost.

Well, that's why OKC lost. OKC lost because the refs kept they they whistles in their pocket based on they were saying that they were flopping. I mean, you gotta call like it was. I mean, you look at the pacer series. The pacer series was the same way a bunch of flopping, a lot of no calls, calls that should have been called, tackles that should have been called, push on that should have been called. You're missing all these calls, but then you call the most randomest flop. Like no one even touched him, but he's on the ground. You call Fowl's like, Well, how did you fall? And then the announcers on there, well, I don't think anyone touched him. I'm not sure what they're calling. But yeah, shooting his 20th free throw.

Right. Right. I don't know, man. It's it was a hell of a series. I didn't even watch the rest of the game. I watched to the um to halftime and went to bed. I knew the Knicks had I knew the Knicks had that because I'm like, they probably gonna lose by five points and they lost by what three, four, four. Yeah.

Once the Knicks went up by six with like almost a minute left, I turned it off.

Yeah.

Let me go upstairs and uh sleep next to the wife.

Yeah, I got you.

I mean at that point it's like, well, hey.

Yeah, I already I already knew. Like I didn't have a I didn't have a uh I wanted the underdog to win just because that's that's you know that's the way I do it, but neither one of them on my team, so it was just kind of like, yeah, I'm going to bed.

And it wasn't like they were playing, it wasn't like the Spurs were playing like abnormally good, that they were down by four. I'm like, okay, now they'll get that back. They were playing pretty bad. They were up by eight.

Yeah.

And now you're down by six, like, yeah. Uh but hey man, you know, for for anyone that's a real basketball fan, it was a really good series. I mean, you would hope it would have gone a little bit more that the Spurs showed that dominance they showed the first half of the game. But now you know that the Spurs are a first half team.

Nah, experience and coaching. That's all that was.

Offseason Fixes And Trade Dreams

Yeah.

The talent was there.

But do you think they'll come back and win it next year?

Nah.

I think they might. I think if they go into this offseason, if they keep that core together, and a veteran, and I'm not saying De'Aaron Fox is not a veteran, because he is a veteran.

But like I think um, I think Utah gets it again. I think Utah gets it again. No, I'm deserves. I don't think uh I don't think San Antonio will uh go. I think Utah will. You think Utah? Yeah.

Uh if the Spurs get a veteran, like a veteran, is that what they're lacking is a is a solid three.

Who?

Um, I don't know.

I'll even take I'll take Dylan Brooks. You put him over there with that Spurs team. You you put him up, think about it.

They're gonna trade Draymond. Draymond goes to the Spurs.

They can use it, they can use him. Honestly, you just you need that.

They're gonna they're gonna blow apart uh okay. I know okay, see they're gonna blow apart um Golden State. Steph is gonna stay stay there, but Draymond got to go. Yeah, that team becomes better, the Spurs become better when Draymond goes to uh to the Spurs.

The Family Computer Browser Horror

Uh I was looking at something, and this guy he says um back in the 90s he found his dad's internet history on the computer. And um he said he was about 11, his sister was nine. And he said he found his dad's uh porn search history in Internet Explorer. He was like it was garden variety search terms, but I was grossed out and really glad I found it before my mom did because they fought like cats and dogs. I had heard porn stuff before, like Playboy magazines and stuff like that, but never expected my dad to be doing such a thing. I took a step back and thought, teachable moment. I taught him to clear his history. I brought him aside and said, I saw what you were doing, I saw what you were looking at on the computer. He immediately said, That wasn't me. It must be a virus. I said, Well, whatever it is, let me show you how to clear it so nobody happens to find something like that again. And I showed him how to clear his browsing history. He finally, in a moment of owning it, looked sheepishly at me and said, Did you tell your mom? And I said, Of course not. She'd actually kill you. Does your sister know? She, yeah, she was there. He immediately loaded us in the car and took us to the fancy farmers market with all the little boosts of classy local stuff, and said, Thanks for not saying anything. Thanks for not saying anything and being mature about this. Um Gods have a great time. Get whatever you want. We got two high-end artisanal Amish lemonades with molasses, a big chunk of cheese, and a bag of kettle corn. We were paid for our silence, and we never told a soul till now. Are they still together then? Well, the I'm guessing the fucking uh husband and wife still married. I could not imagine. Well, then again, first of all, I'm not doing that on the family computer. But back in the 90s, you had the family computer, like it was just like out in the open somewhere.

It was too expensive to buy any other computer.

Man, shit.

Like there was no laptops, it was all desktop towers, and then the only other thing you had was the Playboy magazines, Hustler.

Or the big box uh or the or the tapes, yeah. That you just somehow stumble upon in your parents' room or some shit like that. Man, I was reading that shit. I said, I could not imagine. I'm like, God damn.

You know my browser history would have said stick death.com.

Stick death, yeah, stick death. Or steak and cheese.

Yeah.

Or uh, what was the other one? New grounds or some shit like that.

Like, I don't know who created Stick Death. But they they stick that we had to it was oh dude, it was amazing. Yeah, I remember they had Survivor Edition. Oh my Lord.

Uh uh. The shit that we we got to do when we were young, man. I'm just mad he ain't know how to do that.

You know, I would I think around that time, because computers are now were at that point kind of new.

They weren't no the same, no, they weren't. The same way you do it now is the same way you did it back then.

Yeah, but I don't think people realize that. I think because you know we had computers, but the world wide web ain't been around for so long. Like, think about he he wasn't Oregon Trailing's porn. So you probably was just like, oh, well, let me look uh loose.

However, however it comes up, it comes up. Jeez, man.

But maybe they maybe they didn't know, because you know, we're we're the generation that had to roll with it and learn it. Our parents had to adapt to it and the young kids.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I keep forgetting that part.

Yeah, you know, for us, it's a little different. We they they never told me I had to clear my browser. I found out they were like, oh yeah, you can look in your history to find old websites you went to. I was like, oh, really? And then I realized, well, did can you delete it? Oh yeah, you just hit this button here. Great.

Listen, yeah, I um to tell on my soul. By the time I started doing anything remotely, kind of crazy, I already have my own fucking laptop and shit, so I'm in the clear. But I just couldn't imagine doing it on a family computer.

I couldn't either.

Could not fucking imagine that shit. I thought that shit was funny just reading that shit. And then when I was like, Oh, it was two girls, so your daughter found that shit. I thought it was a guy like you know, a guy writing this shit.

Yeah, I thought we said his, I thought it was his son.

I would have his daughter. I think I'd be more uh ashamed that my daughter found out. And back then, just for safe measures, I would have took their ass to Chuck E. Cheese too. Like, hey, we went to the Zalmish market and y'all got whatever the fuck y'all want. Let's go to Chuck E. Cheese and two. I need this all the way wiped up. Your dad's a good dad. I need your silence, please. God damn it. Well man, I could not fucking imagine. Could not imagine. I wasn't the person who needed my help because they should have known that shit. Nah, somebody need your help though. Somebody needs your help. They wanna know. They wanna know, huh? That wasn't it, nah. Oh I mean they are they was telling the story. I just thought the story was funny as fuck. Like, can't make that shit up, tell you that.

Preferences, Shame, And What You Saw

I mean, I mean, what's uh before we get to that that person in detail, what's worse, like knowing that your dad watches porn or seeing the type that he watches, uh probably seeing the type that he watches, yeah, exactly. You know, gosh, man.

Everyone has their own preference, like you might got some people who might like alien porn or you know monster porn porn or monster porn, or yeah, some, you know, because a couple of my boys are like, oh yeah, you know, like I I gotta see them being penetrated. I'm like, and I'm like, I really don't want to see them penetrate. Uh because in my head, that's a little too personal. I don't mind just just the oh yeah, see them get a blowjob. I guess it's like all right, whatever. Like to me, blowjob's impersonal. It's it's like uh saying no job.

I was blow you said they in impersonal, yeah. Personal can you get with someone's mouth? Like it's that's super personal.

Yeah, it's it's one way, and I ain't gotta see that dude's face or his body.

Is it just you've seen the main thing? What are you talking about? I mean, but are you but it's something that you don't want to see?

But are you really focused then on that? You really focus on what's in the shot. What are you talking about? It's in the shot.

Yo, never mind.

I ain't about to know this history probably be worse.

Fuck yeah, man.

Look, because look it it.

Let's say his wife, what if you found out the preferences and his history is like, oh, my mom don't look like nothing like this, right? Oh shit. Oh my gosh, man.

He watching porn and masturbated, even though they they all did it. But they it's it's like uh how adults are. We don't want to know that our kids are smoking or drinking, but we know you're doing it, but we don't want no evidence of it.

You know, it's like nah, give me the evidence, bro. Put my mind at ease. I don't want to uh like if you're doing it, at least I know you're doing it. But the porn thing is a whole different beast. Like you don't like if you're like if your significant other was watching it, you don't want to know what they watching, because that's gonna fuck with you. I even heard guys say, like, yo, if you wanna watch her, you watch the porn that's uh closely related to your wife. I'm like, what the f what the fuck the point is that? Like, yo, just don't listen, you clear your history so you don't even have to have those fucking conversations. Simple as that. Simple as that. Yeah, you're right. Matter of fact, porn might be the certain the safest

OnlyFans Versus Porn And Strip Clubs

thing to do. It's the only fans shit that's gonna get you in trouble.

It's the only thing where you're not cheating that gets you in trouble.

No, I no, I said the only fans is gonna is gonna be the thing that's gonna get you in trouble. Because you know at this point, you paying. Yeah, it's not it's even it's it's worse than a porn subscription because you're like you're paying a girl to be personable with you and get take uh what is it uh tailored stuff for you that's worse than going to the strip club, even though you paying for live dances. You don't think so? Nah, you huh?

Say that again.

I think women have a uh have No, I said OnlyFans is worse than the strip club.

Oh yeah, I was I thought you said that it's it's worse than the strip club.

I was like, nah, nah, you have to OnlyFans is worse than the strip club. I am saying that, yes.

Yeah, because you'll be wise and be like, oh, I took my husband to the strip club and I think he put a strip of the hands on her. Like to them, it's just like whatever, it's the it's the illusion to fantasy, whatever. They're not tripping, they ain't touching them the hands and whatever.

Yeah, but could she say, yo, I let them uh put a uh I pay for a subscription to uh super high lexi on OnlyFans, and he got that shit for a year, and she be sending them personal messages and Busting her pussy wide open for him on his birthday on the phone. Like I mean, was it was I don't know. I mean, I do know. I don't ever want to play around with that. I think that's the worst thing somebody can find is like your only fan subscriptions. Yeah. I forgot who somebody put me on a somebody. Who was it? Who was that girl's name?

Yeah, you know, you should watch her if you like this, because she gets rid of the bull jobs. I'm like, oh okay.

Nah, I know. Here's the thing. I don't want no recommendations, recommendations from a guy either. OnlyFans is it's uh it's a slippery slope, man. I'm telling you. Slippery fucking slope. It's a slippery slope. It's a slippery slope, but hey. For men and women, to the point that women feel like all I gotta do is this and I'll make a million dollars. It's like, nah, you gotta be good at it. Can't you can't cute your way into this, you can't fat butt your way into this. You know what I mean? How many girls on there with a fat butt? You know what I mean? How many girls is all of them? Yeah. And for guys, it's like, yo, you get used to doing that, then are you really gonna be dating now? You like, all right, I'm gonna set up the one-on-one session. And that shit ain't real.

That ain't real either. But uh really either. I mean, well, you know. Yeah, well, I mean, you know what? Men are getting themselves in trouble regardless. We could watch a TV show with a chick that's super high and be like, oh, damn, she's cute. Bro, why, why, why, why?

You shouldn't have said you see, you see making the first mistake by saying it out loud. You do what all men do, they comment in their head, they answer in their head, they keep it moving. Your wife asks you, like, oh, you think she are, man? I can see why guys think she's attractive, and then you keep it moving. Guys are getting themselves in trouble with dumb shit by actually uh telling the truth. What are you doing?

Look, it it it's it trips me out too, because it'd be like, oh, uh, you know, it's not that bad. Like, it it's it's one of those things we we as men should know. We should know not to say certain things. Now, will we still say it anyway because we might be like, man, fuck that motherfucker right now because she pissed me off? Maybe.

Maybe that's a huge baby.

You gotta control yourself.

The answers then it's a huge baby because it's like that. Am I trying to get some pussy to the later on today?

Right.

Are we gonna go see my family later on when she's gonna have an attitude with me?

It's all of a sudden she's gonna say, I ain't going on this trip. Yes, you can't pay all that money. You can go and take your little take your little fantasy bitch with you. Yeah, it'd be shit like that.

Marriage Truths Men Say Too Loud

These are all things you gotta think about.

That's how I look at it. It's just like, how do we how do we as men? Because women will be like, you'll you'll pay for all the shit, and then they'd be like, Well, I don't want to go. Well, you go and have to go because uh I can't get my money, I can't get only half my money. Well, that ain't my problem. You shouldn't have done this. So now I now I lose half my money because you mad.

Nah, you just go without them.

Well, I mean, if you want your relationship, then sure. Yeah, I say do that.

Shit is that like you're not gonna go, so you're gonna force me not to go, and it's my money that I spent. Who you know, I'm punishing you for even doing that. Get over it. Who was it? Let's go on this trip.

Like, who like come on now? Oh, you can go down by yourself, you know. Like, I don't need to go, and you can spend time with whoever you're going with. Like, what? So, you mean staying this place by myself? All I'm gonna do is drink the whole time. Like, what's wrong with that? I can't believe it. Then you listen, listen, this is what you this is what you do.

Hope that your PlayStation make it on the trip. You take your play. You need a trip. We need men, we need a travel gaming console. This is the one that we take with us on one of the trips was for things like this. That's my PS4. My PS4.

My PS4 goes with you.

Get a good solid weekend in uh gaming and drinking when if these situations occur. And boom, we had fun. We ain't doing no chores, none of that shit.

Yeah, I remember me and my wife. We were supposed to go to South Carolina one year. Something happened. So I think she got mad about something, but then we were still gonna go, but then we also were supposed to go to like this other thing. It was it was a whole lot of stuff we had like planned for some shit. And so when I was like, all right, well, you know what? If you don't want to go, and like I tell all the time, like, if you're not gonna go, I'm not gonna need for me to have to explain anything to my parents or my family, like, well, why don't why don't why doesn't she want to come? She don't like us. Like in my head, I'm like, last thing I want to answer is a question of does she not like us? Because with them not coming, I think we talked about this last time. Is is a woman not showing up to a vet, is like, wait a minute, why didn't she want to come and why are you the only one here? Unless she's sick or you know she's getting old, you know, shit like that. But generally, well, why didn't she want to come? Like, well, she don't like it, she won't be around. They they they done made up some other shit. They they done done woman shit. They done made up a whole scenario in their head about why didn't she want to come? So I'm like, I don't even want to deal with that.

I don't want to sit here and have to subject myself to hearing them talk about that you don't like, and you know, sometimes when it comes to stuff like that, um, the reason you're gonna give is not gonna be good enough for everybody, and then that's gonna make you feel even worse because you like, damn, maybe that wasn't even a good reason for not the you know what I mean? And you start thinking about different uh uh angles to the situation, and then you might even come home mad. Because it's like, damn, yeah, that was stupid. Well, I should have just kept my dumb ass at home.

Because what we're gonna talk about. Oh, well, she just didn't want to come. She felt that she didn't need to come to this event. Uh like, so she didn't want to come hang out with the family she married into. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've been there, I've been there. I was like, never fuck again, man.

So don't I like I tell the time I said, I'm not going to subject myself to that. I said, no one asked us why the man is in there because in in a lot of people's head, the men and women is if the man didn't want to come, barring that he's just sitting at home and he didn't want to come, or they or they met him, like my stepfather, they met him, they know he just ain't a people person. So sometimes it's a good thing that the nigga ain't that. Oh, great's not coming. No, okay. Just keep it rolling.

Yeah, as long as he's healthy, he's doing well.

Uh go make a plate for him and take it home for him and keep it rolling.

You know, um, that might it might be an unwritten rule with that. Like, if he ain't here, he's doing something important. And that and that gets the wives off. Like, oh, he must be doing something important, or he must be tending to the house or doing some yard work that he couldn't get away from because the weekends is the time that we, you know, we we I don't pay for a landscape or most guys don't. So it's like that's the time to do those things. But man, you know how many times my wife and her family, I said this before, they just be having stuff every weekend. I'm I can't come to all these things every fucking weekend, man. You're gonna have to catch me two, three times, not any two, maybe not even three, two times out the month or something.

Yeah. I think my only issue I've ever had with me and my wife is I'm like, I've asked you these questions about going. It's not like it's not like I d I done popped this, pop this up on you and you didn't, you know what I'm saying? You didn't know this was, you know, these were coming. I'll be like, hey, yeah.

Um you wanna uh go to this thing? Oh, uh I don't know. Okay. Cool, whatever. All right, I ain't tripping. Then it turns into, okay, yeah, we can go. Are you sure you wanna go? Well, yeah, yeah, I'm sure. Okay, cool. Then it turns into I don't really feel like going. So then why tell me you wanted to go? So that's that that that is that I think that's where me and my wife, and you know, and I love my wife, my wife my heart. I'd be like, if you didn't want to go, a simple I don't hold you, I really don't want to go. I don't wanna go. Like I don't wanna see them, I don't wanna be around them this week. And I'm good. Okay, cool. I'll let them know he ain't gonna I mean that's how I look at it, you know. Like that's just that's just that's just how I look at it. At the end of the day, if I can make it to all the events, I will make it, you know, but at the end of the day, I work a lot.

It's no fault of my wife, and I don't expect her to um to cover for me or be like, oh hey, you know, he's doing this and this. I don't expect her to do that. No, just say, hey, he's working. If I don't want to go, tell him I don't want to go. Because I know they're not gonna ask no questions. They're like, okay, well, that's cool. Just take him a play home. They do because these events that they do, these events that they do, which women don't understand, they're not for the men, they're for the women, they're for the women. Yeah, they ain't for us, they're not for us to to enjoy ourselves because a lot of times we don't really enjoy it. We because we be like, damn, we got a lot of time. I mean, I hope I hope what's there, man. And then you think about oh hey man, and then you know what we do the whole goddamn time? We talk about how we don't want to be, yeah.

Nothing. Nothing at all.

It was like look, we it ain't like we talking about anything good. Look, the women all catching up on the inside. Oh girl, uh, you know, this happened, this happened, and dah, dah. Oh, okay. We in there drinking, like, man, look, man, I'm I'm ready to go. I'm about to tell the missus it's time to roll. You ready?

It's been times I've been in my in-laws' house and I got too comfortable because ain't nothing going on. I just went to sleep on the sofa. Not like kicked up like I'm in my house sofa, but just more or less like sitting in the chair like this is knocked out. And I sometimes very faintly hear my wife like, yeah, he's been working hard this week. I'm like, Yep. Sleep like shit. Cause it's just y'all talking and girl stuff and this, this, and that. I'm just like, God damn, man, I ain't have to come over here for this. And not in a mean way, because I love that side of the family. But sometimes I just be like, nah, I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. I don't know what I'm doing. Actually, no, that's not true now because uh now my niece keeps me busy. Uh I just have her fake making me food like she at McDonald's, and I'm ordering shit. I'm like, I need a cheeseburger, please. And she goes go get something that resembles a cheeseburger. So I'm playing with the kids most of the time. No bullshit.

Showing Up For Family Without Resentment

You know what I mean? Is I'm glad. I mean, I'm not glad because I feel like in a lot of portions of my life, I missed you know kids growing up and all the other stuff. Yeah, but I'm kind of on a low glad. Like when I met my nieces and nephews, my oldest niece is like four years younger than me. Okay. So they're my my two oldest nieces are pretty much grown. Yeah. My nephew, he was I was coaching middle school basketball when I met him. And I want to say excuse me, middle school basketball was like 10, 11, whatever. So he was already a little bit older. And his sister, and his sister, I almost said her name, and his sister, she was like a little baby. You know, she was a baby. He was my my brother was still carrying her, holding her there. Like, mind you, she's 16. I'm like, damn. Yeah, has it been that long?

Yeah.

You know, like like I saw her, she was like, Yeah, I don't remember him. And like that, she she told her father, like, oh, I don't remember him. Like, I don't remember him ever coming around. He's like, Well, he's been around sporadically, you gotta, and then he kind of breaks it down to him, like, you gotta remember when he met us, he's he's in his early 20s. Yeah, so he's he's living his life, you know. And like my brother told me when he first met me, he was like, you know, when my when when our father was like, Yeah, you know, look after him, this, this, and this. I was 16. So in my head, I my brother understands, he's like, Yeah, you know, I'm about he was like, he was like, I looked at I looked at my father like, I about to look after this little nigga. Yo, I'm 16, I'm about to go live my life, like you know what I'm saying.

It's

Estranged Parents And Sibling Connections

always weird when parents put like that type of it it means something because you know they're your parent, but if they're the strange parent, uh it's like, yo, what you talking about? You need to be doing this. I I I ain't even get this from you. And you putting a task on me for something else. And I'm like, nah.

I mean, it I would say it's it's a weird dynamic because even like when me and my brother did talk about the situation, um, and because I mean I told him what my mom said. My mom was like, you know, your father tried to show up one day, said I'm gonna go pick up my son whenever I want to pick him up. Myself, I was like, the hell you is. If you wanna, you he said, I ain't not, I'm not trying to keep you from your son, but if you want to come pick up your son from my house, I pay for, you need to let me know so I can be here when you pick him up. That was it. That it wasn't like, you know, anything else. Because you know, my father like 15 years older than my mother. So he on that that old man game.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, he gonna pull up knowing that he he he working overnight shift in a correctional facility type shit, and then he's gonna attempt attempt mom. My father was like, oh nah. My stepdad was like, oh nah, that ain't happening. Fuck wrong with you, nigga. Like this I don't know what you thought this was, but nigga, that ain't it. And so my mom said that they had that conversation, and he he said, My she said my stepfather, but when my father said, Well, fine then, then that's your son now.

And that's how I that's how I went. That's how I went. So it's uh it's uh it's always interesting how these things play out, yeah.

And then come to find out, you know, as I got older, you know, and me and me and my siblings connected, because it wasn't my father who looked for me, it was my sister that looked for me. And she was like, Well, you know, I know he's like 15 years younger than us, so he has to be on Facebook, and you might this before Instagram, like it's like on the very front end of like Instagram. This is back like Twitter was really jumping, yeah. Facebook was jumping, Twitter was jumping, Instagram had just kind of started coming around.

Yeah.

And yeah, and she's like, Hey, you know, I don't know. My name is Such and Such. They called me this, and I know you my my father's name is this, and I think you're my brother. And I was like, I looked and I said, Hey Mar.

Probably.

I was like, Ma, well no, she said, I think I think I'm your I think I'm your sister, I think you're my brother. And I said, Well, Ma, do you know some some chick name? Well, I think his daughter's name was I was like, Oh, okay. I said, Well, what's your she said, Well, his name is you know, said his name or put the name in the message because she was messaging from her daughter's account, her her youngest daughter's account. Yeah, because I was like, and then and she sent the picture and she's like, Yep, that's that nigga. That's my mom said, That's that nigga, yeah. Yep, I won't forget that phase anyway. It's like, damn, okay, mom.

Hilarious, yeah, it always be something. Well, yeah, here's what it is, yeah, yeah. But we all kind of got uh uh not similar stories, but just uh how things end up being, you know what I mean?

Marriage As Two Backgrounds Colliding

Yeah, people's lives, people's lives. I mean, you you don't I don't I never fault my wife for her life and how she grew up and things she did, and I always ask her, don't fault me for certain things because in our certain experiences, in certain experiences that people have, they expect other people to understand it. You know, like if my wife was like, Well, you know, you move, you know, we've been hanging out, and you've been coming to my house and you ain't offer up no money, that's two totally different lanes. Like in the hood, yeah. Old heads always giving up money because they want to make sure that like when it's time for you to break down, you break down. But I'm younger. You want me to come over? I come over. You want to go get some food? I'll come we go get some food. You want me to bring some food over? I bring some food over, but I'm not giving you no money to pay any of your bills because of the fact that that's not how I was raised to do that. Two different, you know, two different ways of living, you know. You know, leaving the hood, going to the suburb with my parents still together, and her living in the hood where her parents divorced. It's two totally different scenarios, two different lives.

So yeah, it happens, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because um, yeah, everybody's like gonna have the same background, everybody's not gonna have the same experiences. Yeah, just gotta be open-minded and and go from there.

I understand everybody's experiences are different, you know. I think honestly, that's been the hardest part of our marriage is understanding each other's background. That's the hardest part of it. But okay, well, I didn't know you didn't do it.

Respectfully respectfully speaking, y'all both smart. What's so hard about that? Well, is it that it's hard, or y'all just don't want to accept it?

Uh it becomes your product of the environment you grew up in.

Yes, me and my wife both do the same thing. She knows what I'm a product of, and she sees those things that come out in me, and vice versa. Talk about that shit. We went for a walk today. We was talking about that. So it's like we're both aware of our we're both we're both aware of our own shortcomings, and we're both aware that we recognize those same shortcomings. Uh, like I'm aware of mine, she sees those. I'm aware of hers, I see those. So I try to, we both actively try to uh have a relationship around us around those shortcomings because we do you know like each other and care for each other and love each other and shit like that. Right. Um now do we always get that shit right? Fuck no. I was just getting on the nerve just I was just getting on the nerves yesterday about some shit. So it's just kind of like like I understand that. So that's why I'm like, do y'all understand it or is it y'all not accepting it?

It's we understand it. So I won't say we don't understand because I think we do understand it. I think it becomes and I won't say it's the age gap between us.

I think it's the y'all understand when y'all become adults of the age gap that y'all are, y'all the same. That's how I see it. Yeah, y'all the same. There's no you get what I mean.

I get what you mean. Yeah, yeah, but it all depends on the person who sees it.

Okay, yeah, I hear what you're saying.

I don't see it. To me, I'm just like, all right, yep, I get it. This is the environment you grew up, you grew up in everything else.

But at some point we gotta evolve from that this is how things should be because at the end of the day, well, not only that, y'all in your own environment now, this is a different environment. So live the way this environment is, you know what I mean? Try to figure that part out.

Yeah, no, no, it is. I mean, we we we figure it out day by day, but you know, it still turns into sometimes that that those perspectives like I I have a very I have a very logical perspective.

It's don't do this, this don't happen. I gotcha.

You know, if you don't do this, no one has complained about this. It's not about it's not, you know, and I'm saying women's logic is a little different, but women's logic. Different where it's like, well, this isn't that serious. So even if they did this, this shouldn't really be that serious. But it's like it's not the same. It's they told you, do not go outside, it's going to be a scorcher, and you go outside and pass out. Well, they wanted to go outside, so I mean it's not that serious. I mean, they passed out, they live. What's the big I what's the big big, you know, what's the big problem? It turns into well, what why is it such a big deal versus why didn't you just do that? Yeah, it turns into just the the back and forth. But I think that's like I said, I think that's a lot of just men and women. Like just if you just follow this, this doesn't happen. Like everything for men is always gonna be logical, ducks in a row. You gotta it it has to make sense versus just and they say that men try to like hammer squares in the circles. Honestly, I feel like women try to hammer shit in the circles. We're like, wait, that doesn't go there, but it also doesn't go none of these other places either.

So I think we I think we both do it, but we do it in two different in two different situations. Two different situations. So men do that when it comes to like I know this logically does not make sense, but it's my wife, it's my girl, she fucking bitching at me, she wants me to try it this way, and that's what we'll do this way when the world don't work this way, and that's when we start doing that. Women on the other end is when it's like, yo, I've seen this done like this a million and trillion times, and this is the intended outcome. Your out what you're trying to do does not yield this outcome, but you want to do it anyway, and they just hammering that square to that's where and sometimes it's like yo, like, and that's any in any relationship, that's in my relationship too. And I'll just be like, and now I gotta now I gotta stop myself from saying I told you so. Now I gotta, I gotta, I gotta figure out a uh a nice way to be like, so where do we go from here?

Right. But hey, but but that's marriage for you. But you know what? I I I wanna say, even though these past few months have been really rocky for us, and what's we we understand, these moments are going to happen. They're gonna happen no matter how you try to slice, no matter how great you try to make it married, you're going to have those rough patches where just nothing's going right. And so we're just kind of we're working through it like today, we're having a good day. You know, today's a good day. Um, I gave her a factory reset. Um man, shut up. So it brought it brought me a day, so I gotta give her another one soon. But you know, I I feel like a lot of our issues stem from not doing that enough.

Um I would I would I would uh I ain't in y'all business or nothing like that, but I would urge you to you think about y'all situation and like if you feel like that's not if if that's the thing that's not I'm sorry, if that's the thing that's not done enough, what are you how can I put it?

I'm trying to be uh how can we be proactive to get to the No, not even that.

I'm trying to get you to like think outside the box. What is it about that that gets her the quote unquote factory reset? And maybe the same thing could be achieved without an actual factory reset. You get what I'm saying?

I can tell you that offhand. It's it's the I'm now focused on her and time with her. That's really that's what it is.

All right, I ain't want I ain't want to get it out there like that, but so now you know what the fuck to do. Just figure out the more time that you can be up arrest, for lack of a better term.

For lack of a better term, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because my wife, my wife's the same way, like she wants to be uh adored, she wants to be, as she should, you know. She wants to be attention, yeah, she wants attention.

I don't tell my wife for it. I you know, at the end of the day, you you didn't get married to feel like you had a boyfriend.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I'm saying? But also, I always say, like, for men, we're we're not built like women, we're built to take on all the responsibility. So that includes worrying about the house, worrying about you, worrying about the kids, all this other stuff.

So our time might be stretched in for a good reason, for a good exit, and our mental and my mental capacity and bandwidth even more because it's kind of like sometimes I do go to bed thinking about like fuck that shit was fucking up yesterday. I'm gonna have to pay for that. So you can't be like, damn, he ain't holding me. I'm like, girl, I'm trying to solve problems over here.

And as men, we aren't necessarily told, like, go ahead and tell your woman what's going on because we've seen all the men before us who are super strong in our minds that don't say nothing, they they just grind it out and they keep it rolling. Like you don't it, we've been trained to to to make sure that we hold it all together and do what we're supposed to do, right? You know, and then you know, you have the culture now where if you say what you how you're feeling and you're a man, and it doesn't agree with what the women are saying. Now you being soft, you being like a woman, you being it it turns into this those are the wrong type of woman.

I I wouldn't marry a woman if she felt that way. But I had to but also had to learn that too, to be like, yo, she not gonna say that to you. I know there's still things I don't really be, you know what I mean? Right, but I tell her more than I did more.

Hyper-Independent Dating And Adult Basics

I told a woman at work, she was like, Oh, she was like, Yeah, some and I was with this guy for a certain amount of years, and now we're not together, blah blah. Okay, well, what kind of guy are you looking for?

Well, you know, I'm a hyper independent woman, and once I heard that, all I heard that even mean, like all I can think of is like you're being you're an adult. You're a being an adult when it comes to a relationship. Don't run me how you run your personal life, right? Don't run this relationship how you run your personal life. A relationship is two people's bond together. You need to do the right things to foster a bond. What you do outside of your your independence, I don't give a fuck about.

I really don't. Oh, well, you know, I need a guy to make a plan, like, you know, we're gonna go out to dinner, we're gonna do like it was pretty much not independent, though.

That's not hyper-independent. You're naming a relate, you're naming basic relationships.

So pre because how I how I viewed it, and not to go off topic of me helping somebody else who need who has some.

Oh, yeah, yeah, true, true, true, true, true.

Well, how I kind of explained it, tried to explain to her was everybody's an adult. So the fact that you're independent, you're just like a man who does their own thing. I, you know, at the end of the day, when you when a man lives on an L, they cook for themselves, they clean for themselves, they pleasure themselves. I mean, I I had to kind of lay it out there. All these things they can do without you. Yeah, but it's the fact of the companionship, but for you to tell a to be like, okay, I'm gonna give God my number, and all he says is, hey, how are you doing this morning? That's not enough for you. He didn't make a plan to take you out in the world or take you on this trip, it sounds like you want an old nigga. Like it's when when a woman to me says I'm hyper-independent, it sounds like you are okay with being single. That's what it sounds like to me a lot of times, because it's like I need I need the man to do this, I need the man to do this, I need the man to do this. But never once when I asked them, do you cook? Well, you know, I only cook for that special person. Well, then clearly you want him to give you husband qualities, you won't even give the bare minimum wife qualities. Hey, um, I don't know what you're doing this evening. Um, I cooked if you want to come and share a meal with me. You ain't gotta stay, they ain't gotta spend the night over your house. They ain't gotta come hang out too long. You could do it. I just wanna share a meal with you and and talk to you and blase blase, whatever.

See, I never under, yeah. This is where I'm so glad I'm married. It's just like the the the it's just the I I'm sitting here thinking as you're saying that, I'm like, yo, because I got a homie that's going through the same thing. I he ain't like going through the same thing. At one point in time, he had like he had a whole team, and everybody he was just at a meal, like uh all the girls was cooking for him. But the way, and I don't know how he managed that because he had five girls that was doing that.

Oh, it's not hard to manage.

I used to no, I mean, no, I don't know how he got he was able to do that based off the how the dating landscape is. Oh that's that's what I'm yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was about to say back in the day, it was easy to manage.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Most definitely.

But um, I just never understood like they have so some women have so many uh hang-ups when it comes to stuff like that. And I just imagine myself being back in the dating world, like the way things are now. I would prefer, like, yo, uh, yeah, I want a meal every now and then, but I ain't asking for you to come over and just cook all my meals. I ain't asking when I go over there that your your meals need to be cooked, but I need to know that that's in you. I like I can meet you halfway with your modern woman independent shit. I don't want to get married to you and then you be like, I don't know how to cook. And I'm doing all the cooking. It don't even make any sense to me. Like, you want something, you don't want to be the one that's always cooking, but yet you'll get married to someone that's doing all the cooking and you think that's fair. Let's meet each other halfway type shit. And it's like, is they can't even bring themselves to meet a person halfway, it has to be all or nothing for them, and that's why I'm like, I'm so glad I'm uh married, because it's kind of like uh me and her meet each other halfway all the time when it comes to every almost everything. Not these bills all the time, but most of the things we meet each other halfway.

I mean, that was part of the reason why my wife married me. She was just like, you know, I didn't have to do all the cooking, I didn't have to do all the cleaning, I didn't have to do all the all the other stuff. Do I still have to do a lot of stuff? Yes, but you also take responsibility of stuff that I don't want to do, such as part of being an adult. Yeah, like because I tell all the time, like, you know, even though we split a lot of stuff 50-50, there's still some stuff that you just don't you don't do that I do. Like, I change I'm the one that goes in there and changes the return air filters and and uh air conditioner filters. I'm the one that cleans the cat bowl with the for the water fountain. I'm the one that gets up on the ladder and swaps the batteries out for the ring camera. I'm I'm the one who steam cleans the stairs or vacuums, I'm the one that does these things, but you're also the one that does these other things. So you're not taking full responsibility of everything, you're just taking full responsibility of some things, versus if you're an adult, you you gotta take all of it. And like when we went to counseling with Pastor Melvin, he was just like, you know, it's always gonna be easier with two of you. So in a nutshell, he pretty much said, work the shit out. Like it's gonna be harder to do this on your own than it is to do this with somebody. Yeah, always that's that's life in general.

Life is harder on your own.

And some people, oh I got work, I do this, I do this, and that. I'm I feel like I said this many times on this podcast. Congratulations.

You're gonna do it anyway.

You're a fucking adult. Yeah, you're gonna do it. You know what I'm saying? Congratulations. Oh, I make this money and I do this and I take care of myself. Congratulations, you're a fucking adult. Yeah, guess what? You've now dating another adult. Yeah, or maybe you should vet these people a whole lot differently versus oh, he gave me good dick. Or she gave me a good blowjob. Like, you know, there's there's ways to vet these people versus on the sexual aspect of it, because that's how people many people are vetting people. It's like, oh well, the sex was amazing. Then they meet somebody who has standards, and it's like, oh my lord, the sex wasn't that good, and uh I just had to go back to him. But no, it's because it's easier to go there and complain versus step your game up. Yeah, I had some good bars, but clearly uh it ain't working. That is my tangent rap rant for today. Cause uh we've been me and uh my co-worker been watching um uh murder with my husband and podcast on Netflix.

Murder with my husband?

Okay, where they talk about true crime murders, whatever, and um and we always talk about how his 10 seconds is never 10 seconds, and it's always completely irrelevant to anything. I mean, shout out to them because they doing their thing, yeah, yeah, yeah. On the podcast section of Netflix. Um, and so they're doing they're doing their thing. Um, but yeah. I'm like, damn, I just want to hold it about some shit that's not the topic. And then I really don't know the topic. I have no clue what the topic is. Neither does neither does her husband and murder with my husband. He never knows what crime they're gonna talk about. He just gives a natural reaction. I mean maybe we got the same model, maybe maybe that's a fine that we will be on Netflix and YouTube and all the other stuff. I mean, I might have to keep a you know, we start getting that money, you know, so I gotta keep a regular haircut so we can stay on the air, you know.

I'm gonna blow, I'm gonna wear uh I'm gonna wear a ghost face mask like screen. And that's what our um podcast now. Or MF Doom mask R I P. Yeah.

Referral Bonus Drama And Keeping Your Word

But um no, I mean, question of the day. This person needs some help. Should they they uh they pretty much uh you know how you get incentives for um suggesting someone work at your office or something like that? Yeah, so it was a uh they offer a thousand dollar uh instead of incentive bonus. And this guy was playing around with his uh, you know, mutual friend with his wife, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you should work here. Uh you know, I used to split that money with you. And now that guy's like, he got hired, and he's like, all right, time to split the money. Uh money. Nah, he was like, will he be wrong if he say it's $500 and give him $250 instead of giving him $500 since it's a thousand dollars uh signing bonus? And that mind you, he already worked for the company. So he could find out. He could also not just give him any money. Mind you, so so it's his it's his it's his wife's friend. He's a guy, gay guy.

So he's gotta be a gay guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to say that, but he got some problems with his wife's friend, so you know what would you do? Well, there's only one thing that men have in their life, and that's their word. You burn you burned, but hey, but you have your word, right? So you're right. But you can also say some other words and was like, hey, you know, man, I didn't know if you were serious about uh me splitting that money because I really wasn't serious, I was just saying shit. You could those some words, because those some words I'll put it this way you got two options you you could do. You could he get hired. Oh he got hired.

He got hired for half the money, uh did he ask for half the money? No, not yet. Okay, so the guy that ranks for half the money, maybe he maybe he thought it was joking. I mean, because think about it. I get hired by a job, let's say you let's say I got a uh uh not a retention bonus, but a new hire bonus, right?

And I get hired, where are you at?

If I don't ask, all right, well you said we won't split this money, if I got hired, you know, would you would you even offer it? Probably not, because maybe in your mind, like, yeah, man, if I get you out, man, we're gonna split that, whatever, whatever. Okay, cool, bet. But if I don't never ask, why would I sp why would I split it? Why would you split it? True. Now but but that also lets you know the seriousness of if they were serious about splitting that money.

True. Yeah. My whole my whole thing with that is I got you a job for more money than what you were probably making at your previous. Why the fuck I got spent? I would never say we're gonna split this money. I'll say we're hiring. And if you get hired, I'm not even telling you that there was an incentive. And if you find out, oh the fuck well, you now have a new job making more money than what you was making before. I gotta give you money for you working to earn money.

No, I gotta give you money for actually doing good on the interview, nigga, because you could have not got you could have not got the job. Yeah, that makes no sense.

He put himself in a in a in a in a situation he ain't have to put himself in, and it's kind of crazy.

But that's why you never guarantee niggas shit. Yeah, you get high. I'm gonna split this money with you because you never know.

Because you got you also gotta think about it from the aspect of the only time I did something like that was like, yo, I gotta give him a name and the address, and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And they're gonna give me blah blah blah. I'm gonna give you the money because you don't have to let me use your name and address for this, this, this, this, and this. That sounds like a scam now. I don't sound saying it like that, but you get what I mean.

I mean, kind of. I mean, sounds like y'all were out here scamming. Oh, I won't out here scam scam, man.

It was like it was like uh remember uh maybe 2009, I remember. Back in the day, back in the day, you can get money for doing surveys and shit like that, and blah blah blah blah blah signing people up to do the stuff. It was something, wasn't a scam on my part, maybe a scam on this company's part. But you get money for referrals and shit like that, and they ask some questions and shit. I'm like, yo, do this for me. I give you some of this money because I need to get my shit up, like pyramid scheme type shit.

Right.

Um, it's just for you to work, I'm like, nah, nigga, you probably gonna be making more than me when you come in in this bitch. Like, and I'm gonna give you, you know what I mean? Like, put your own game. Uh-huh. The question, I mean, the thing is he already works with you. You said you'll split it, bring it to his attention, say, hey, I hope you don't think you're gonna get this money. I was just joking. And if he, you know, you go from there. He might not if he forgot about it, he forgot about it. You just don't want nobody bringing it up.

Right.

And you already took the goddamn money.

Right. I mean that's what I'm saying.

Is it's is one of those things where it's like, eh. If I said it, I know I'm fucking around and joking, I'll tell you that.

But if you don't ask me for it, I ain't gonna say nothing. Because you know, you never, you never know. Yeah, especially if if I'm asking you for it, obviously I I in my head I need it, especially if I just started the job. If I just started the job, then I might need the money because let's say worst case scenario, I ain't been working, right? I'm just getting unemployment. Unemployment stops as soon as you say you found full-time employment and you gotta wait four weeks for that first check. Yeah, so that 500 might be gas to get the word in other scenarios, but in a best case scenario that you just like, hey, look, we're gonna pay you 150,000 to come over here versus whatever you're making. We're okay, cool. I'm not asking you for that thousand. And the fire shouldn't. If you got a new job in another place to come in, I've been living off that check for God knows how long. So, what do I need that thousand dollars for or that five hundred dollars for? Right, you know what I'm saying? That's how I look at it. Or if it was he wasn't working or he was, or you know, like I mean, if you weren't working, I don't fault you for saying, Hey, I got the job, let's put that money because I'm gonna need that till I get paid eventually.

You know, but Yeah. I mean, I don't fault them for it. Yeah, and my whole thing is it's like, yo, like I said, he gets a job. What's better than that? Yeah, well, the the money it ain't it ain't five hundred dollars like oh here's your five hundred dollars. Here's a job where you're gonna be making maybe three thousand four thousand dollars a check.

I mean, like I said, it it just really all depends on what was the circumstance before he got the job. I mean, I mean that's that that's to me that's the biggest thing is if the circumstance was that he was working before that, he shouldn't be asking for it. The circumstance that he wasn't, because you tell a nigga who ain't got no money that you gonna give them money if they get this job, they're gonna want that money. And you can't you can't you can't fault them for it now. The the the the part that's gonna suck is if they give it to you in gift card.

Yeah, all right.

So here's a gift card for a thousand dollars. I'm like, god damn.

You gotta cut half that gift card up. No, all right, I'm gonna try to say that. It was such a stupid ass dad joke, and I just had to do it. I had to.

I'm like, he, I know this nigga knows he can't cut that damn card up.

But uh, but you know that a company's a dude that too.

Yeah, companies will do that shit. They be like, oh yeah, you know, oh we here here's your thousand dollar gift card.

He's a gift card.

It's like, damn, you just throw the shit on my check at least, please. God damn it. No, don't throw it on my check. No, don't throw it on my check. Actually, just you got some petty cash hanging around. Like, can I get some cash for this?

Must say, because you know, you know it's gonna be you know it's gonna be gift cards, yeah. And I think that's the that's the funny part about the whole thing is you know it's gonna be a good card because they can't give it to you in a check because any money that comes out of the fund that's going to a person in a check, you go you won't get taxed for it. Yeah, you're gonna get taxed for it.

So that thousand dollar bonus turns into that thousand dollar bonus turns into what 800? Maybe 50. Yeah, because so at that point, yeah, get a nigga uh $500 then. I mean, get a nigga $250 then. Get a nigga $250, you good to go. Case closed, my guy. Case close.

Because all bonuses they tax.

Um if you was to give them half, you're giving them more than what you got anyway. Well, no, you're giving them more than what you you kind of get. So let's just say it's $800, you give them $500, half of the thousand. You're less with less than what you it's not even.

So just give them a lot of people. It's not even, no, it's not even. But but that's what I'm saying. Like, if they put it on your check, they're gonna first of you first of all you're gonna get taxed at the highest rate because it's considered a bonus, that's just law at this point. So that thousand dollars after stake taxes, Medicare, social security, fed taxes come out of that motherfucker, you down about 650.

Half of that is uh 250 at this point. Case closed. Give him the 250.

Half of that is 250 now.

Yeah, give him the 250, call it a day. And if he stops being friends with your wife, oh well. That ain't your problem.

That ain't my problem. She shouldn't have been friends with that nigga to begin with.

In all seriousness, have a conversation with him, see what happens. The best thing to do.

I mean that's all you can do.

I mean have a conversation, see, see what's going on.

And hey, you know, I thought I thought we were gonna uh take these things now. What you do is you start getting so how you how you get the scam to really go is you gotta show goodwill. You gotta show goodwill.

What you do is once you get the nigga in, right? Then first let the wife fuck this year.

Well, you gotta give him a little bit of money be like, all right, look, this is what happened. So after the bonus, this is what what we got. Now you start trying to get your homies in the the good homies, not not not not the bad homies, the good homies. So y'all can start getting that that uh that bonus until they start saying, okay, well, you don't if you refer more than three people, you get no more. So you refer three homies a year.

They still gotta get the job and pass a probation.

Yeah. But hey, look. The homies know. Yeah, it ain't fun if the homies don't get no money, right? Look, I'm putting you on. So I need you to act accordingly.

Talk It Out And Wrap Up

When I know, everybody start having conversations. Have conversations with your wives and your husbands about shit. Have conversation with your friends. Problems can and will be solved. All right. And uh thank everybody for listening. See you next time.