First of hopefully many story time bonus episodes
[00:00:00] Say, okay, cool. Well, I'll come out, but she called a homegirl. And he paid for her and the homegirl and she was like, and this is not... Bro, I'm sorry, right here. DeLaw back in the bed. Okay, no, okay. Say, Mrs. Smith.
[00:00:16] Say there is no Mrs. Smith right now. You are DeLaw currently. You out there slinging. You like slinging dick. You literally DeLaw the devil son-in-law because you married to the devil. Oh, Nick. Are you paying?
[00:00:42] So you say you got some stories, man. Yeah, I got a story. I got one. I want to get one. It's a juicy one. It's a juicy one. So I was at the Crazy Crab, aka the new Fat Boys for me because Fat Boys kind of fall
[00:01:03] and all, but that's neither here nor there. But yes, it's a crazy crab out here in Glenburnie. So there's a new bartender there. So she was like, yeah, you know, so she,
[00:01:20] you know, I'm in there. I'm just getting my drinks and shit. And I'm not, I'm not paying no mind to her because she's new bartender. I don't give a shit. Well, she was like, yeah.
[00:01:29] You know, like I used to be this, I used to just be a user back in my, you know, white girl. She used to be a user like this. And like I used to have this one guy who used
[00:01:38] to just, uh, my mother fucking still use and don't nobody say that. No, why she's still used? I'm sorry to cut your story off. She's, you know, she's still doing it on some level. You can't. No, no, I don't understand that.
[00:01:56] Because you don't give that up just off the back. No, it's not about the back. Number one, you don't give that up off the rip. Number two, unfortunately I feel that when women are like
[00:02:08] that, they don't really grow out of that because they just, you had it better or you're doing it. Right. That's just me. That's how I felt about it. But she was telling me the story and I was like,
[00:02:21] I'm not going to, you know, I was like, all right, this is what it is. So she's like, yeah, so I'm hearing the story and I'm like, okay, cool. And she's like, yeah,
[00:02:30] like it was this guy, like I was married to my and I never fucked them. You know, that already piqued my life. How long would he marry for? That's number one. I can't give an exact number because I told I'll use this.
[00:02:50] In case you know, but from the sales of it if I had, you know, and this is just on, just listen to it. They were married for a considerable amount of time. I would say
[00:03:00] past a year and a half to two years, if not longer and no coochie. And so the only reason I started really kind of listening was because she said that there's a law that says if you don't
[00:03:12] fuck your spouse when you get married, you can get an annouement. And so her marriage was annulled at some point. So you know, she's been making my drinks. So you know my ass, I'm like, I heard you talking about this. What's popping off? She said, okay, well, look,
[00:03:30] I met a guy and it was on some random shit that I was working at a job, but he kept coming in. He comes to find job because he's a truck driver and shit. I'm like, all right, cool, whatever.
[00:03:41] And so she's like, yeah. And so he will come in and he would bring me stuff, blah, blah, and eventually he was talking to me one day and I told my hand over to stay
[00:03:53] for no, he invited her out and she said, okay, cool. Well, I'll come out, but she called a home girl and he paid for her and the home girl and she was like, and this is
[00:04:04] that. I'm sorry. Right. You do law back in the day. Okay. Okay. Say, Ms. Smith, say there is no Mrs. Smith right now. You are D law currently out there slinging right slinging that you are literally D law to double son-in-law because you're married. Are you paying?
[00:04:31] The fuck no, you know who's my you don't want to say the law. I got you. Hell no, you forgot. She's got a whole money. Oh, yo, where is her man at? Like the fuck exactly. I'm like, yo.
[00:04:53] When she said that I was like, and I like I said, I went to the store house like, I'm gonna just let the shit rock out. See what she says. But
[00:05:06] so she says, oh, yeah, I was taking my friend. You know, I'm not gonna go somewhere with this guy. Barely know man. I'm gonna take my friend with me. All right. That's cool. All right.
[00:05:12] And she's like, well, he paid for everything that and so anytime that they would go somewhere she'll bring her friend with her. He paid for her and the friend. So eventually she tells
[00:05:22] her dude, oh, well, you know, you know, you know, it's just breaking down. I'm short of some cash and he's like, well, I got a place and you can stay in the basement. It's cut off from
[00:05:35] everything and you and your kid can stay there. She's like, okay, cool. I'm looking at her like, it's crazy. Well, okay, cool. So she said when she got there, she said when she got there, there was no basement. Okay, it was no basement. It was just a house.
[00:06:01] Only reason why I'm laughing because she's still alive. Yo, that is so crazy. Yeah. He went to this nigga house and he was still alive. Like, come on. Like, come on. Like really? I got a basement here. So what if he had a basement?
[00:06:29] The number one thing is like, oh, don't go. Just say no, thank you. You're like, okay, I'ma continue to use this nigga. Boom, no basement. Well, but that takes back into the point of when
[00:06:42] you know who you are and you know that you're like, this dude's doing all this, like why not? I get it. It was crazy and dangerous, but I get it. And so in the grand scheme of it,
[00:06:57] she was like, well, you know, I did that. I brought my son and I brought my friend. What? Hold on. Because once again, she's like, you know what? I ain't gonna buy a movement
[00:07:08] to no nigga house with. I don't know the nigga like that. So I'ma bring my friend with me because now there's no basement. And so she was like, it was like a I think at the time, I'ma just give a random number. She was like 21, 22. It's a random
[00:07:29] number. So you don't know for sure? I know for sure, but I'm just giving a random number to protect the innocent. Well, I need to know her fucking age. Oh, her age currently she's early 30. No.
[00:07:43] Who? Her current age is as as early 30s. I thought you said 130. I don't know why I need to know her age or when she did this. Oh, when she did this, I'm gonna say mid 20s.
[00:08:00] Because she said roughly about three to five years ago was when this happened. So this is fairly recent. Oh, come on, man. What? This is like right before COVID. Your math ain't mathin, man.
[00:08:17] Look, you asked so many questions. I need to see if she dumb. You know what I'm trying to do. Don't even tell me the age. Is she dumb? Stupid? No. She's not dumb for what you just
[00:08:34] think. Oh, no. The guy for sure is dumb. No. Her? No. Is she dumb for the stuff that she just did? Um, no, she could have been killed. I'm put I'm put this way in the grand scheme of yes,
[00:08:50] she was very dumb for doing what she did. She was at the age that she was as it make her dumber and the age that she if she was doing at her current age, I would say she was dumb as shit.
[00:09:04] So back when she did it, I just thought she was dumb. Man, I thought I could give her a pass. This shit sounds stupid. You know, no, no, it does because it's one of the even she was kind of like, yeah,
[00:09:17] I know it was stupid. Like but me thinking that some guys just gonna pay for shit and she's sounding like the naive delusional. Hey, the naive delusional woman that I How not even the loser was to do like he was paying he was front in the bill.
[00:09:38] There was no basement. He wasn't naive. He was working. Yeah, no, no, no. So the thing is it doesn't matter what he was like if he was spending money, he's willingly doing he's willingly doing these things. But the moment you find out
[00:09:53] the moment you tell me that the moment D love tells me that there was no basement. He already had a plan. So I will he's not winning creepy. Yes. But Samp maybe not because he has a plan. There's no fucking way.
[00:10:10] Well, you know what? In this particular case before I saw the picture today and just listen to it. Yes, please. But complete lonely Samp only because the only reason I say that is just listen to the story. Just listen to her story.
[00:10:26] Story is weird. You know, because I'm looking at it from my perspective of there's no way in hell I'm going to let some chick drain. You'd be like, there's no chick in this world that I'm that infatuated with that I'm going to be like,
[00:10:44] I want to take you out and you bring your friend. I'm going to pay for you. Every time I take ask, can I take you out using the okay, cool. Can I burn my friend?
[00:10:50] And I'm gonna be like, all right, cool. Then you tell me that you down your luck. Oh, yeah. Come live in my house. No, I'm not fitting the bill for all this shit.
[00:10:58] If I ain't getting the pussy is the thing I might pay for the friend once as a courtesy. Hopes that you put that hopes that you put your mouth on my penis outside of that couple more times is not happening. Let me get closer to the microphone.
[00:11:15] I ain't doing that shit. Unless they both slobber to my knob like on the top. What would a Kanye say in his song at a birthday song? He said,
[00:11:34] how go you how about you go to the West Ends and get a best friend? Look, she already got one. You already knew he was implying. Listen, I'm already all you're describing to me is how some women just think that this life shit is easy.
[00:11:56] Oh, some guys gonna let me stay in his apartment, his basement, and he pays for dinners with me. Whenever me and my friend go out to eat with them, we only go out to eat with me.
[00:12:09] All right. Must be nice. Must be nice. I sure as hell I never had that happen for me. Listen, every time I hear shit like this, it makes me think about that dude that was dining and dashing
[00:12:21] on women. Like if we order a budget food, will he already be able for the even cover? Did he be gone and leaving them with like $300 bills? I know that sound crazy. I know that's wrong.
[00:12:32] However, I'm not gonna say it. Don't bring a little smile to my face. I'm budgeted, but when she told me that she that at some point she married the nigger,
[00:12:45] I was like, hold up, hold up, you married him? Oh, I forgot this was a part of the thing. Yeah, she married him. You said that in the beginning. This is the marriage without sex for two and a half or one to two years. One to two years.
[00:13:05] Basement is number is red. Why would you who lies about having a basement? He must have really liked her. I don't know. Basement? Hey, look, when she told me that she got married to him, I was like, well,
[00:13:20] you got married to a guy. So so you know, my first thing, well, how was the sex? Oh, we never had sex. So wait, you mean you got married a whole a whole
[00:13:31] wedding where you had to kiss them off in front of people or everything. Yeah, I never fucked. Like what what amount of excuses did you give to not fucking baby? It was the first thing in my head.
[00:13:45] I'm like, wait, so there's no way held that if I let's say let's say I was a billionaire and I just wanted to campaign. What excuses are you giving me to not fuck?
[00:13:59] Like what do you give me? There's no way you're giving me a very value, very good excuses of why you don't want to fuck. You're just telling me you don't want to fuck. And she was just like, you know, I just didn't fuck him in.
[00:14:16] Eventually we got divorced because we got an omen and then he left me with the house and kept paying the bills like literally he was fronting the bill on everything. Even after he had noted he was fronting the bill on everything.
[00:14:34] And I was like, there's no way that this is a stable as nigga. He wanted to kill her but couldn't bring himself. Bring himself. That is a possibility because I could after she told me the story, I couldn't even wrap my head around like could I have?
[00:14:58] How you leave your house? Congratulations. You played just like well she um she was she she was not that she was homeless but I think she couldn't pay a rent or something was going on. So he found that out. He offered up his his non-existent basement.
[00:15:20] No, no, no, no. I get that part. How after the divorce you leave your own house? Right. Two some maybe there's another thing. This shit by the sound bad. You have to be at least fucking it's not even the fact that like let's just say outside of
[00:15:44] like the bearish. That's the same thing I said. I was like outside of the bearish is shit. I would think you know you know what some man is like yeah it's not you're not supposed like you shouldn't as a woman you shouldn't feel obligated to do that right.
[00:15:56] But he's actually showing his intent by taking you out and stuff like that this this and that one as a woman don't move into someone's non-existent basement. Right. And don't think that he has motives and you just met him to don't get married to a motherfucker
[00:16:16] and think you just not about to fuck him forever. Well at least not us. Yeah. I mean not him too. He had noted. Well he had noted because that was the way he could get it done because you know with a divorce
[00:16:33] I mean you know what I'm saying is he still wanted to be out of the relationship in general. Right. Because he wasn't getting sex like that's I mean come on now.
[00:16:42] You know that's a good question. I don't know if it was because of sex but I would assume it was. I would assume it was because you didn't get the good details what if it was just one of those
[00:16:53] things where she ain't tell you she was cheating. That's the part. She didn't disclose it because she's not going to be still using another moment this way. I heard her. This was a bargain.
[00:17:10] That was it wasn't he wasn't her type and so why did you deal with you didn't ask why. I'm sorry. He wasn't his he wasn't her type. Well we know that.
[00:17:24] And so I was like so why did you do it. She's like well because so pretty much it was just what she needed at the time he was providing and she said well fuck it why not.
[00:17:34] So I was like well shit. I'm not going to judge her on shit that I think that they would do anyway. So no I'm a judge you. Most of us would. All of us should.
[00:17:49] You stupid it's not even the fact that you did what you did. He didn't have a basement. He didn't have a basement and you went over there and you married him and paid for you and pay for her and the friend. Yes I made all your food yes.
[00:18:09] The thing is right is not the fact that she felt like she had to do what she had to do. She was stupid all the way through it. That's the part I'm judging her on because she could have got herself buried in someone's backyard no one would know.
[00:18:24] Yeah. Tell mother story right now. No we would because it was something I would have found the article either mirror you and you'd be like damn how did that happen.
[00:18:35] What if he did a full professional and was like yeah I told her I had a basement but I didn't have a basement she kept bringing her friend I kept buying stuff and I just got
[00:18:42] tired of it because I felt like she was using me so I killed her. He missed it. That's not me. I don't know. That's not us. We can talk about it. I know nobody like that.
[00:19:02] You know we were talking about one of bartenders at the crazy crab and she moved in with a guy never had sex with him. He didn't have a basement. He's telling her wrong. I'm telling her wrong. Hi. He said you'll go my bad issue story.
[00:19:27] So long story short she met a guy. Guy was in fact with her. Guy realized that she was having some trouble with like paying for shit. Decided that he wanted to help her in whatever way. Took her out on a date.
[00:19:42] She always take her friend eventually she said I'm not gonna have a place to live with me and my son. He said well look you can move to my house. You got I have a basement. You can have the whole basement to yourself.
[00:19:53] Once you finally get there there's no basement. Now ain't she dumb for still going forward with that? Oh wow. Is she still going forward with that? Yeah because that's the first lie. That's the first of many lies. That's the first of many lies.
[00:20:08] That's why I said she might be slow. That's come on now. I don't care how young you are. Isn't he didn't even have a basement? You got a kid? I think what she said was she thinks he was just lonely and wanted some might because he was a
[00:20:27] he was a person who made a lot of money. None of that shit matters. He could have killed you. There is no basement and you don't know it. Well see you know what that's nigga logic. Oh no but why he would love it. That is how it's been.
[00:20:43] I don't know my wife's good logic. White people logic is different than nigga logic because in our head if I told my wife you know what you and your son can stay at my house in the basement she showed
[00:20:53] me to the basement and we're like they'll not let that basement. He's not going up. She's not showing up because she don't know you. They have been on multiple dates but she's not touching the front. Five dates is enough? No. Nonetheless once he said. She's feeling hard time.
[00:21:28] I told you nigga logic is different than white people logic sometimes. Oh she's just stupid. My wife would have said my wife would have like well look you want me to move in with
[00:21:38] you for what why don't you just pay this part why don't you just pay this until I'm good. Yeah that is smart. She's stupid. Then she's just stupid. She's stupid. She's stupid.
[00:21:48] That's just all that is because I'm like yo I didn't even like I mean I don't finesse women so I don't I didn't even think of that yo just pay this and call this much. Look you see the thought that crossed my mind. Ain't girls on mine either.
[00:22:04] I'm over there until a basement is not there. Tell her the other part. Tell her the other part about the marriage. Oh that's not even the funniest part. The funniest part is they got married. She moved in with a but she claims she never fucked them.
[00:22:26] Well apparently every date they went on was with her him and her friend and when she moved it she and when she moved into the place it was her her son and her friend and he allowed that. Hey that's a mean
[00:22:47] at what point do you get to know her one on one without friends? Well I don't think she even wanted to get to know him. I think she was going for the free meal. The free meal and the free housing because apparently he was paying for everything
[00:23:00] not everything everything. She was crazy. I hang around with you. She was crazy. She's stupid. That's stupid. And now it is. But she's still alive because she's the only reason why I'm laughing. That's the only reason why I'm saying stupid.
[00:23:22] Look I rather no they so apparently there's this thing where if you don't sleep with your spouse or whoever you get married to after a certain amount of time you can get it annulled. So her marriage was annulled to him.
[00:23:36] We gotta look that up because I'm starting out to believe her. She probably just cleaned that nigga out because that's what this sounding like and then she spent all the money now she working at the fucking bar. We need to look that shit up man.
[00:23:55] I'm not gonna do it because I'll feel like it but you get what I mean maybe. I'm not gonna do it. This will be part two. Part two. We'll look it up and we'll tell you guys a week later. Open drinking. We'll see if we remember.
[00:24:13] I'll remember once I edit this shit. Hey look I'll be like oh shit let me listen to it like oh shag I gotta look up it. Can you get annulled if you if you don't fuck them up? Let's see what Alexa said.
[00:24:23] Alexa if you don't consummate your marriage can it be annulled? All right just shut up. Alexa stop. She always does that shit. Every time something important like I don't understand what you're saying. I said that the most educated way. Consummate annulled. I use big words.
[00:24:45] I don't understand what you're saying. I'm like all right. You know what Alexa said nigga use smaller words. If I don't have sex with my wife can I get the marriage annulled? Like come on. You know Alexa dumb as shit.
[00:24:55] I don't want to search that if I'm not on my computer because I want that shit in my history. I forgot your wife is IT too right? Nah she's not but it'd be just my luck on working on the computer.
[00:25:07] You know how you type shit into Google and your history show up in the bar? Like how many times you're going to type in annullment and not have sex in front of your wife? No sometimes you know what I'm saying like it tries to guess
[00:25:22] what you're trying to search. Let's just type that in now. I could type in recent ones. No it could show me things that I might want to search. So I could type in wife and since I typed in annulled it could show me some other shit.
[00:25:41] And she'd be like what were you searching? And I'd be like I don't know where that popped up because that happened to me before. I'm like you know not that those particular keywords but just something I'm like. Is there something you need to tell us West?
[00:25:56] Like you know is something going on with you Mrs. West? No um I don't know I might have told that. No I'm going on between me or her it was just a string of words and then something else came up.
[00:26:10] I'm just like I know that looks weird I did not search that. People know what I'm talking about if you all fucking did this shit. Y'all know what I'm saying? I've never done it. You have done it. You just don't pay attention to.
[00:26:30] I'm telling you do it right now like go to Google and type in some words and then to try to guess what you're trying to search for. So based off of what you've previously searched your shit could be a little weird.
[00:26:43] All right so it's a kaleidoscope tv show. Cooked rice with chicken broth. Far cry six. Okay I'll put it this way put it this way do is it a far cry and see what happens? It's a far. Cry.
[00:27:07] Now look at all the stuff that comes up that's far not don't hit enter but stuff. Is it a far cry meaning definition six good six cross platform okay I see what you're saying. That's what I'm saying.
[00:27:21] One time I was doing something like that she's like what is that I was like I don't know why that showed up. When I type in wife I get wife, wife news, wife beater, wife beater. It was a wife beater your thing.
[00:27:34] My wife and kids wifey wife Christmas gifts that one I did look up. Wife Christmas gifts gave you wife beater for some reason. Yeah okay I see what you're saying. That's all I'm saying. So I don't need Google doing that shit right now. All right I get it.
[00:27:56] But that story time with D-Law.