Wes & DeLaw | Who Actually Owns What In Your Life

The Rag Debate Cold Open

The w uh one of the homies and I drew the conclusion that he washed his face with the same rag he washed his face with. Now, is that not common sense not to do that? Depends on the person.

What do you mean it depends on the person? I know someone that said they they only showered every two days. And I'm like, why? Or every three days? They said, oh well, you know, I don't think if I showered yesterday, I don't think I need to shower today, especially if I didn't sweat. I'm like, what?

Nah, that was a dude, the way your balls be hanging. Nah, this is it's yeah, it's inevitable. Like, yo, but here's the thing nonetheless. And I think I said this so many times. I'm like, yo, random sucks is the best thing you can get.

2K Season And Cartoon Talk

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the According to West Podcast, where 2K27 early access is out, and we're ignoring people.

Yep.

And you have deep on the getting in trouble with his wife because 2K out and sober son-in-law.

Oh, you you're not drinking because you're playing 2K.

No, I just haven't drink it. Say the key word that is in my mind.

I won't say so that you won't say that. So I'll drink.

I thought the key thing was to say cut water three times into the monitor. Cut water, cut water, cut water. No. Cut water for the first time yesterday. Really? That's yeah, it makes my stomach hurt. Nah, I sipped that shit. It was it's too sweet. I ain't fucking with it no more. It's too sweet. Too goddamn sweet. But uh speaking of saying uh saying cut water three times in America. Have you been watching uh you watch um have you ever watched Rick and Morty before? Not really. I might have seen an episode here and there, but it's not necessarily I go searching for. Gotcha. It's this um, it's this uh they did a spin-off from one of the characters in uh in Rick and Morty, President Curtis. He's supposed to, it's called President Curtis, and he's supposed to be like a uh a spoof of Obama, but not really Obama because Obama was the past president. He's voiced by um I was about to say Keith David. Is it Keith David? What's the old guy from uh the play uh it was a voice of uh Goliath from Gargoyles? Is it Keith David?

Keith David, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Voiced by Keith David, you know what Keith David is, right?

Yeah. So um story short, the premise of the uh show is like he's the president, but he's going out and doing like extracurricular shit like uh hunting vampires and werewolves and just making sure the world is safe. So he's not only doing the the uh what do you call it? He's not only doing the uh the political shit, he actually is like a super not superhero, but just doing Rambo style stuff and shit is hilarious. But long story short, ex-wife uh ex-wife is kind of somewhat doing the same thing. She became a governor of Chicago or something like that this last episode, and she was a re rehabilitating candy man, and um yet so that he's a good guy, so that he's a good guy, Lord. I say that episode funny as she was like, all right, they got some black writers on this uh on this show because it's a cartoon, but it's funny as fuck. It was on HBO uh Max if y'all got it. But that episode was funny as fuck. From this from if it had my wife laughing, because she don't really fuck with Rick, she she'll watch Rick and Morty if I'm like she's around. But if it had my wife laughing, I was like, okay. This this episode this show is hidden on something. Yeah, check it out if you if you got the time.

Cutwater Sweetness And Hangovers

But uh yeah, man, cut waters are nasty. Every time I I so I remember I got cut water one time because I went, I forgot what I went to go get. I think I went to go get some white claws. It was either white claws or Jack and Cooks, it was one or the other, and they didn't have what I wanted, so I was like, these might be all right. So I got a flavor, but I tell you that shit tore my stomach. That shit tore my stomach. That that's that's when I really realized taking sugar extra sugar out my drinks when I drink has been more beneficial than letting it stay in. Hell yeah. I don't see it's gotten to the point where people look at me weird for like just drinking vodka or just drinking whatever. I'm like, I can't do that sweet shit. And if I'm gonna do vodka, I do, you know, I do cranberry juice or ginger beer. That's about it. So I'm not doing no extra syrupy, sugary shit. Even tequila, I can do tequila kind of the way it is. I cannot do the you know, the pre-made margarita mixes and shit like that. Cannot fucking do that shit. That's perfect. So people can and they get all fucking you know, twerp and shit, but nah. Let me feel my uh the alcohol poisoning getting to me. You know what I mean? I don't want to feel the the sugar, you know. I don't want that feeling. So I write it.

I think I've only had cut water maybe two times, three times. One time I told my wife, do you mind I actually did she mind getting me something specific from the liquor store? And it turned into her saying, Well, I seen you get this before, so you just gonna have to enjoy this cut water.

I'm like, I seen you get this before. My wife do the same shit. I'm like, but didn't I say it was bad? Like you saw me get it. I expressed that I didn't like it. You got it anyway, but let it let me do that. You ain't paying attention. See, one of them see, doing one isn't horrible, and don't be wrong, some of the flavors are are decent, but it's just like you said, it's it's so syrupy. It's just like you almost you almost gotta cut it with water. You know what's crazy? Maybe that's what I need to look at that can because maybe that's what they want us to do. Like, yo, it's super concentrated, all you gotta do is uh throw a one-fourth cup of water in that motherfucker, and you're good to go. What if that's what it is?

Of course, I don't know, like because it is like some flavors aren't as syrupy as others, and some are just nasty outright.

You know, if we're if we're being honest, some of them are just nasty as shit.

Or it's like, yo, like what like what were y'all thinking? Like, this gotta be a drink for the ladies.

So it says many users find cut water can cocktails overly sweet due to the high sugar content, which often ranges from 20 to 35 grams per can, depending on the flavor. The sweetness is a common con uh common complaint, with many noting that the sugar can cause issues before takes effect, leading to a wicked hangover or a cloying aftertaste. You might to mitigate the sweetness, considering the following strategies add ice or water. Choose less sweet flavors like lime margarita. No, that lime margarita was too damn sweet. I had that yesterday for the gin collins, which are often rated as less sweet and more balanced compared to dessert-like flavors such as white Russian or espresso martini. Limit consumption. We're not doing that. So it seems like the answer is to cut it with some water.

Cut it with some water.

This is to cut the shit with some water.

That shit it it it I'm look, I'm surprised you you have a hangover after that.

No, I had one can. I wasn't done after that, and I sipped the whole can throughout the throughout the you know what I mean. I was I was I was babysitting that nursing it. Nah, I'm I'm literally a oh, here's some box, you know, some Tito's or whatever, and I will just drink that. You know, I haven't done wine in a while just because of uh I was buying them cheap ones, some cheap ones who were uh super sweet. Remember, I was like, oh, I had the five dollar used to record on having like a five-dollar bottle. Why is she five dollars? Exactly. Those them Stella Rossies or whatever the fuck they was called uh doing those. Well, but my wife loves them shits. See what I what I will start doing again, because I think I told you I said this before, I'll do the uh the five dollar bottle of wine and just uh cut it with some vodka.

Now that that will have you nice that will have you nice, yeah.

So I might start doing that. You know, this the season is changing, uh, you know, so does the alcohol I consume throughout the fall. So we'll see. We shall see. But

Age Gaps And Transactional Dating

uh you ever wonder, uh, you ever wonder why middle-aged women don't date attractive young guys like older guys date attractive young women? The older guys attract the young women? No, no, no. Do you ever think about why middle-aged women don't date attractive young guys as much as rich older guys date attractive young women? Because they're not trying to find no young nigga like actually that's a lie.

Because I seen some that have they they ain't funded funded where they're getting married or whatever else. Well, they'll give you a couple honey if you need it.

I'm gonna need it weekly. Well, I don't understand if I need it, if I need it, if I needed it today, I'm gonna need it next week too. I think they do.

I think that uh they the older group does it, it's just one marries them versus the other one, just uses them as a toy just to have fun with. Yeah, because you gotta think about if a oldest ain't really messing with us and we younger, yeah, we're gonna come through and lay it down or you know, sleep with you or whatever, but you want somebody that's gonna sit there while you're watching your old ass show. You won't be out in the streets.

A part of me thinks that that uh when it comes down to it, some of these guys probably do meet these uh little age rich women, but when they see them, they be like, yo, my dick not working worth a damn for this. Like it's just not happening, and I gotta fake be all holding your hand and shit and popping blue chews and shit just to kind of pipe that down. I think women can kind of get away with that shit for some reason when they're dating an older, an older man. Like, I don't know how. But guys, it's just like eh. Like, do you really see you as I'm trying to think of what will repulse the, you know, in general, what propulse? Like, let's just say she's like 600-pound life type older rich woman. You really be like, you know what? I fuck it. I I want 200. She might just want some. No, I'm talking about no. What if she said you won't get this 200? You need to fuck me. 600? Yeah, 600 pounds. Exactly. Exactly. He was like, I don't want that fucking 200. Fuck it. No. Fuck no. She had the 200, that's fine. Huh? She had the 200. But uh nothing I can do with 600.

Yeah, exactly.

But let it be let it be a woman, right? 600 pound guy. Guys be selling it's so so short that sometimes they only the woman, the girl don't even gotta fuck him. Just be his arm candy, he's showing you off and shit, this, this, and that. And maybe you sit on his face. Boom, 200 in hand. You know what I mean? Or you know, whatever, how much money in hand. And she the one that got her pussy ate. Yeah. Should be bad for us. I boom, let's say this. She offers you some money, she's like, yo, I'm uh uh, just let me suck you off. She's still 600 pounds though. She's like, the way I treat these Snickers, I'm gonna treat you. Uh I guess if she's just sucking me off, she can't get up anywhere. You still gotta you still gotta mentally prepare your mind to perform just that.

Nah, that's personal. It's just like, all right, look, if you're gonna do it, spinning about it, all right.

And then when you're hearing when you're hearing the fat noises of her breathing and shit while she's doing it, that's gonna that's gonna fuck up your whole situation. Like she's walking up the stairs, like she walk, you she sounds like she's walking up the stairs, you're gonna be like, oh my gosh, man. I don't know. You dying down there down there, you know. You assuming at 600 pounds she's on her knees? No, she's sitting in a chair and you're standing on a ladder.

That's if she can get out the bed. Talking about 600 pounds, that means you you're laying over top of her wood, you're pretty much sitting on her face with your dick.

No, man, I ain't no way I'm doing that either. See, that's what I'm saying. The things you have to do. I'm not doing that. All of us know after a while, standing while all of us guys know, after a while, standing while getting some getting some heads, it's like after a while, you she doing it good. You weaken the knees, you're gonna have to you know what I mean? You have to do something. There's no way. There's no way.

There's no way. Yeah, man. I I don't know. I don't know why I just thought about that.

I don't know either. I'm just like, the the stuff that you come up with in your head, man, I don't know. I mean, listen, we get into that age where we out the game, but we're also getting to the age where we want to start seeing a lot of that. We're gonna start seeing our peers with old uh with younger women. Yeah, but you know, what those younger women like their men to be older.

I don't know why, oh well, he's established and he can take care of me and blah blah blah blah.

I've always heard that up to you know since uh like 20s on up. I've always heard that. But you know the the number one thing I've always heard after that, they want me to do things, they're controlling. He always wanted me to do this, this, and this. I'm like, yeah, because he's older and he has a fucking expectation. And you're asking for you're asking her for financial stuff. So I just wanted to come in and suck his dick, and that's it.

And like, well, that's how you know, that's how you know we sell ourselves short as man. Is that if that's all that they thought they had to do, and that's all they're doing?

No, so no, so you'll get the create, you'll get the ones that that I know that's lying to me and say, No, he just wanted my time. I'm like, no, he yeah, and the b to start off, and then he wants a little bit more of your time, he wants the time it takes to get your draws off. So, and then he wanted sex, and I was just like, No, so you thought you thought he was just gonna be like okay with uh him paying for y'all to go to Olive Garden and eat, or y'all doing this, or him sending you money to pay your phone bill, and him not, you know. I don't know. That's what they want you to believe. They want you to believe that that whoever they were with was all right with them just being there and they oh, I cooked them dinner and I talked to him. First off, cooking them dinner is the basic thing.

I don't know no guy that just wants you to sit there and talk with them unless they want their deathbed. Other than that, I'm giving you all this money here. You're talking about, well, we can just talk, talk, talk about what?

I can go get a therapist for that and they'll help me solve some of these issues.

Yeah, you're not even you're not even financially helping you, you benefiting off the house. Can I drive your car?

Exactly.

Oh, can we go out and eat? I'm paying all this, and then you tell me you ain't gonna you ain't gonna suck me on 115. We gotta go. You know, there's more to you know, they probably say it's more to relationship than just sex.

Yeah, that's not that's not that type of relationship. It's not that type of relationship. I met you on sugarbabies.com. I'm providing the sugar.

You already should know. Look, yeah, you already know how you have to fuck and suck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they can't put that on the website because it's prostitution, but we know what it is.

We know what it is.

Yeah, we know what it is.

Look, I'll put if you know you know.

If you know you know, if you know you know.

What does that mean? Well, I can't put that you got a second part if you want to be a sugar baby. So therefore, if you know, you know.

Exactly.

I can put an acronym up there. I'm cool with that being, all right.

Uh Y S F. You suck and fuck?

I guess I gotta put a G in there somewhere. You got to, you suck and fuck. So you can't, it ain't no free rides here unless you ride.

And I already know that's not free. So look, if it ain't free for me, why you think it'll be free for you? Come on now.

Thank goodness I'm out of the game.

I ain't gotta think about that shit. I don't want to ever think about that shit.

Always gotta think about it.

And to be honest, if it if anything ever happened where it was just like, yo, I ain't had no wife no more, I don't think I'm going for a young drink. I'm going for one of them slow, slutty older drinks because I know I'm gonna get them, and that's gonna be easy, and they're gonna be slutty. So, hey, that's what it's gonna be. There's a mutual understanding. I think I'll I think I'll be able to stay within my age group. Yeah, so ain't no need to get a young drink that that won't play loud ratchet music, or do multiple things in a day, and it's just like, no, no, no, we're not doing six things in a day. We went out to eat, we caught a little movie. That's it. Maybe we go home and you know, whatever, whatever.

I'm not ready to go home. Let's go get a drink.

Hey, well, you ready to leave here? I don't ready to leave here because I'm going home. What's

Hygiene Basics People Still Skip

a uh what's like a uh a basic hygiene thing that you think many people don't follow? Besides the the the comp like the super common shit like deodorant. What do you think of something that uh so simple, so basic, but don't nobody do that shit.

Flossing and flossing.

You don't say flossing and washing your hands. And washing hands, he took on those are three basic basic ones. But those are ones that people don't do. Yeah, but I know there's I there has to be something else. I know not now, but at one point I knew of uh I was talking to uh one of the homies, and I drew the conclusion that he washed his face with the same rag he washed his ass with. Now, is that not common sense not to do that?

The person, what do you mean it depends on the person? I know someone that said they they they only showered every two days, and I'm like, why? Or every three days. They said, Oh, well, you know, I don't think if I showered yesterday, I don't think I need to shower today, especially if I didn't sweat.

I'm like, what if that was a dude the way your balls be hanging? Nah, it's just is is it's yeah, it's inevitable.

Like, yo, it was a thing, but here's the thing nonetheless, and I think I said this so many times.

I'm like, yo, random dick sucks is the best thing you can get. Always be prepared for a random dick suck. And you know how you be prepared for that? Showering every day. Yeah, that is it. That is it. Oh, yeah, okay. You said taking a bath every day.

Or showering at least.

Showering at least. Shit. What about what about what about closing putting the toilet seat down and then flushing the toilet? Yeah, that's a common one.

Yeah, I don't do that at all.

I mean at work, they don't have no toilet seats on them.

I mean, yeah. At that point, that ain't your bathroom either, and your toothbrush not in there. Yes, you know what everything else ain't in there. My toothbrush don't stand the bathroom, so yeah. Mine is uh my wife's like, you don't leave a toothbrush? Mine's not exposed. Let's just put it that way. Mine's not exposed in the bathroom, and mine is in the medicine cabinet where it can stand up, and that's closed.

Yeah, so I don't think I've ever I think I've had my toothbrush in the bathroom when I was younger.

Yeah, of course. You ain't gonna know better.

It wasn't even it wasn't for a long time, it was probably for a little bit, and it was like, well, why don't you ever want to what was it? Some I saw somebody use Snipe's toothbrush in the house one time. Yeah, and I was like, oh nah.

So I I started putting my toothbrush in uh in my room.

God damn.

The crazy thing is, I've been over uh I've been over one of my homeboys' house, and him and his uh his daughters, all their toothbrushes are just exposed. Like I'm talking about like a thing sitting on the wall, toothbrush in there, and I'm like, oh my gosh, that shit scares me because that's the only bathroom y'all got. So you know, people that's visiting and go use that bathroom, y'all all in that bathroom. All it takes is for a quick, you know, move of the hand, the shit falls somewhere, you put it back, you don't know if that actually happened. Yeah, you go in there and put the toothbrush in your mouth. That shit is scary. Well, yeah, that's why I keep my toothbrush in my in my uh I've always kept it in my room.

Yeah.

Inside of a uh carrying the little travel tanks.

Yeah.

So that way I ain't gotta uh worry about. My wife leaves hers in the bathroom in a little travel case thing in the medicine cabinet. But everyone's like, yeah, if you you if you do have your two person in the bathroom put in the medicine cabinet. I'm like, oh okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like um the one that always kills me is how people say they don't wash their legs. Who don't wash their legs? Just people in general. And uh at first I thought it was a Caucasian thing, but I've heard of the black people, mainly guys, say this shit. Like if I'm washing my chest, the soap drips down. I'm like, dog.

How you scrubbing off the dead scan?

If you are even doing that, you know what I mean? So I don't know, man.

People have their own things about them.

But all I can say is my experience when it comes to my hygiene, has been seeing as I grew up other people getting teased. Me one, like I said, me one, my uh random dick sucks. Like was it happens, so it's just like, yo, you just as a as a man, there's a level of being like at the bare minimum of being on point. Then there's some guys that go above and beyond with that, like the face scrubbing once a week, and you know, I ain't really doing all that shit. I'm making sure my my facial hair is you know good, my manscaping is good, I smell good. Toenails ain't long and they don't look crazy, fingernails are clean and or cut short. That's all we really have to do. And some guys don't even do those basic things, so and listen, I don't heard I didn't heard other women tell horror stories of other women, and that that's just crazy.

I've heard horror stories about the women's bathroom.

The woman's bathroom. It's just like, yo, come on. What do you got in there? Exactly. And I ain't about to uh I I'm not about to uh what is the word? I'm not about to go into detail in that. That's not my story to tell. Yeah. It's like gotta be killing you. It's like, wait, y'all do what?

Exactly.

You go in there, you gotta do this, and like for y'all to have to do all these things, along with not selling the toilet because other women be having all these other things going on with them. The most a guy has to deal with is like some asshole just shitting all over the toilet seat, and it's just like yo, the water right there, or peeing all over the toilet seat. Because you by you already mad that you probably gotta take a shit wherever the fuck you at. And then it's just like nah, pee all over the shit, like just pee all over it. I'm like, who the fuck does that? I remember one time my wife would say she saw that in the woman's bathroom. I said, How? How does that happen? Somebody not aiming from the ass. It's a woman. I'm like, nah, that must have been a guy. That must have been a guy. There's no fucking way. No fucking way. I

Happiness Tips For Analytical Minds

was uh I came across this uh this thing, so somebody posted, and uh they were saying that um basically it was this title, I'm not a naturally happy person. My humble advice on what actually helps. And they say they're not depressed, just wired toward the critical and analytical. I notice what is wrong before I notice what is right. Always have. I'm 50 years old, spent 25 years in corporate. Here's what actually works. First, stop chasing it. Happiness is not a destination. Every time you achieve the goal and still feel empty, that's your brain telling you the map was wrong, not that you failed. Here's what actually moves the needle. Just move. Not a 5 a.m. gym session or a 10K run. Something you actually like, like a walk, a swim, dance, whatever. Not for six-pack abs, just move your body. It changes your brain chemistry within minutes. That is the whole point. Sleep seven to eight hours. I know you think it, I know you think five is five is enough. It's not. It's causing you, it's causing your burnout. I thought I was five on five hours of sleep for years. I was not fine. I was just used to being not fine. Real human connection, not scrolling through other people's highlight reels, actually, actual people you can be honest with, people you, people who don't drain you or benchmark you. The kind of connection, that kind of connection is chemically necessary, not just emotionally nice. Get these three basics consistently right, and you're and you are 90% there. Most people skip this and wonder why nothing else works than the harder part. Replace goals with directions. Goals make you anxious. The gap between where you are and the goal is a permanent source of permanent source of low stress levels. I'm sorry. It's a permanent source of low permanent source of low level stress. I don't know why I couldn't read that. Instead, move, learn, think, create. Pick directions, not destinations. Do things for the sake of doing them. Replace your to-do list with a done list. At the end of the day, write what you actually did, not what you planned. You will be surprised. A to-do list only shows you the gap. A done list shows you you are moving. One last thing if you're getting happiness advice from someone who is naturally cheerful and positive, stop. Your brain chemistry is different. Their advice will make you feel worse, not better. Find the system that works for your actual wiring, not someone else's. We are not broken, we are just wired differently. And once you stop fighting your wiring and start working with it, things get easier. Do you agree with any of that? I mean, I mean, it's not stuff that we didn't already know. But shit, it's like two things in here I ain't really think about. So remember, I was remembered one time we were uh pardon numerous episodes. I was talking about like how after a walk, I always feel like I didn't thought some things through and work some shit out. I thought I was the only one, but but it seems like that might be me because I do look at things uh from an analytical standpoint and not necessarily just it is what it is. Like I I've been taught to analyze first. I went to school and had an I'm in a profession that's taught to analyze first because it is black and white, it's not gray.

But um, I don't I've been going to play basketball and literally solve the math problem and my solve the math problem.

Yeah, I've done I've done shit like that too.

I'm like, oh, this and do this and do this, and I'll be like, all right, good, let me I'm gonna uh finish this basketball game.

I'm gonna play you know I'll pull out my phone and be like, let me forget this. And I just went back through it.

This is where I'm like, man, I wish we had the technology we had now back then.

Because we had Cheg that gave you answers if you didn't know it, and even that was fairly new. So I mean, some of it made sense.

I mean, it's the basic stuff to do, it's basic stuff to do, really.

When he was like, when he mentioned

Sleep Versus Workouts And Timing

the uh, I thought I heard my cat. When he mentioned the getting the five hours of sleep, I used to work like that, I used to be Auburn over five hours of sleep too. And then I realized I was extra grumpy, but I only realized I was extra grumpy once after it was a stretch of me getting more than five hours, and I was like, oh, this is why people are annoying me all the time, is because I didn't get no damn sleep. Because I remember telling on myself, remember it was a point in time I was like, yo, I just feel like slapping people. Like I know if I'm at work and I start feeling like I wanna slap people's time for a vacation. Not that I would actually do it, it's just like stupid shit would just piss me off. So I mean, I work about five, six hours. Why are you doing that? But it might be you that's my symptom, though. I'm just grumpy, like I was just, you know. Well, I mean, I I don't really, I'm not really grumpy. I'd just be like, all right, whatever. I might be tired, but I know it's from five hours of sleep. Why are you only getting five hours? Uh, because I try to get up and work out. It's either I get up and work out, or I'll sleep, or I can sleep seven hours. I gotta pick one. You can't go to bed early. You can't fit in working out before you go to bed? Nah. I can't. If I work out before I go to bed, I'll be up. You ain't working out right now. How you gonna be up after you work out? I'm I'm I'm like, woo! I'm going, I'm taking that shower, I'm going to bed.

The first couple of times, yeah.

But if you do it consistently, that that should it keep me awake. So I have to work out in the morning.

Okay.

And then after work, I ain't really think about no working out. I mean, I ain't really think about no working out knowing nothing. I'm trying, I'm trying to relax. And then you don't you don't really work out the same if you work out after work. You're already tired. Already tired, already ready to be like, man, fuck it, I'm done for the day.

Yeah. Just doing it just to do it. Yeah.

Like I might do Maybe a walk.

Shit, I just did a six mile walk to do.

Maybe a walk. But I ain't about to do nothing more than that.

And that's only that's only if the wife's like, hey, let's go and like just get a little walking down.

So what's wrong with you sit? What's wrong with you? Um, not what's wrong. Have you ever thought of uh pretty much spacing that out? Uh lift weights, whatever you do in the morning, do the walk in the evening, so the point you're getting both of those satisfied and you saving your time. Because you lifting weights should only be about 20 minutes. Or just doing your calesthetics. Let's just say you do your push-ups or whatever, whatever you do in the house, you know what I mean? And then do your walk walk when you don't.

It ain't it ain't going, it ain't going to happen if it's in the afternoon. It ain't going to happen. I already tell you, it ain't going to happen.

I got you.

Ain't gonna happen. I ain't gonna lie to you. I'll be having problems with it too.

You try to be like, all right, let me get 10 minutes of lifting in after work, and the first couple days is I until you're like I fucked that workout. I want to sit down before we go.

No, I gotcha. So

Pay Raise Drama With A Girlfriend

we got two people that need some advice from you. Because they they should have common sense. Uh obviously this guy doesn't. He said he started a new job this month. And it's being he's being paid better than his previous one. Right. It's around $450 a month extra. His girlfriend knows about this and and knows his plan, which is to save and buy some more games and comic books and shit like that. And you know, and also treat treat them on dates. We've made some plans for September, and she she's already arguing she can't afford them and that I'll need to pay. I pointed out she's known about them for a while, and she should have budgeted, but she's saying I should be paying since I've gotten a pay raise. I point it out it's hardly fair for her to give the you know, scoot that pay raise stuff onto me, and that she's she needs to be able to budget for her plans. She just said I should be paying more. I should just she's she just said I should be paying what is he? He said that wrong. He said I should be paying move money, move paying. That doesn't even make any sense for more. But I just pointed out that she's able to pay for herself and she's being selfish, expecting my pay raise to actually be for me or pay. Or am I being selfish expecting my pay raise to actually be for me or pay for her on dates? Tell them what you need to tell him, man.

Are you married?

No, it's his girlfriend. Tell him what he tell him, tell him what you need to tell him. Fuck yeah, man. That's not even a conversation with my girlfriend, man. First of all, I'm not telling her I got a pay raise. Like, what are you doing? You say pay raise, they see opportunity, opportunity to spend just to spend more money spent on them, right?

Right. Along with, oh well, if he got it, you know.

Well, you got it. Yeah, I got it. Oh what makes you think that we got it? No, I got it. I'll be like, oh yeah, you we got it. Why can't we do it?

You talking about when that's my money.

The the bear shit is a little different. It's even worse with the bearish shit with my my thought process because it's like if I'm already handling my responsibilities, why do I need to get more responsibilities? Because I got more money. I don't even make any sense, it don't even make any sense. We already been splitting up, yeah. Like, nah, I'm not taking on more responsibility. Yeah, he need to leave her. That's your girlfriend at that, man. Like, she already showing you how she what type of uh time she's gonna be on if y'all ever get married. He's gonna end up like some other dudes with uh with a chick be like, well, he knew who I was beforehand when he lost his job. He knew I was won't leave. Or how that's that is the craziest shit ever, though. But they some people do be like that. He was he no longer uh was providing and blah blah blah blah blah. Like, like that's some of those type of women's favorite thing to say. And it's like, yeah, I lost my job. Like, that's what happened. That doesn't mean I'm not gonna be able to do it again. But you know, sometimes those uh those women, they a month of them having to pick up the slack is gonna kill them. You know how that should go. They don't want to pick up no slack in the house, even if the slack is mainly this. I have to pay for my own nails. Uh I have to pay for my own hair. I gotta pay for my own car note in the car that I'm driving. Uh his unemployment is paying for the house, but uh there's it's not paying for anything else. And it's like, well, hey, show your man that you're about ja and once he gets back on his feet, he got you. That's just the way that works. And you can't even pass the simple test. It's a simple test. Like ain't nobody, ain't nobody through this. Figure out what could leave.

Right, right, right. That's great.

I should pay more than we just date. All right, I guess you're gonna be paying more too, cuz we just dated. I'm out that trip. We not we're not doing nothing. Matter of fact, I'll go by myself. Take her on the trip. Hopefully, it's not a cruiser. I had to give them your name. Or a play party, maybe it's a hotel business, you know. Yeah, it's just I don't know, man. I was um like me and my uh me and one of my homies talk about stuff like that often when it comes to like how he's he's back in the dating uh back in the dating world and shit. And you know, I'm out the game and shit. And we often talk about because he got two daughters, like how he is trying to uh instill in them the value of a dollar and how things should be going, this, this, and that. So he don't, so he doesn't uh so he doesn't disappoint their future husbands as far as like uh like how you know the mindset and this, this and that, and blah blah blah. And I'm like, yeah, because a lot of women do come to us with some crazy shit and you be like, You just you just been thinking this. For the last 20 years, like and you come to me with this, and other guys been going or going for it, or am I the first guy you trying to swim? So it's just like yo, as a girlfriend, this is this is the simple test as well. Just like, yeah, that's all I think. It's just like you you you see that the guy's competent in making extra money, so he's either gonna get another job, make some more money, or the raises won't keep coming in. It sounds like a guy that you might want to, you know, uh fix your what you what they say, fix your your your horse to that cart or whatever have you. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Like figure that shit out. Don't be like, he needs to pay for something that you is you, it's your responsibility. Like, you ain't even you need let the money get to us. You know how you get to take a like a paycheck and a half to to get to you a shit, the water, what whatever have you, whatever you get a raise. He ain't even let that happen yet. You're already telling them whatnot needs to be paid. Hey, look, they always say that the woman don't have to spend their money and your money. Yeah. Each and every time I told my wife about some extra shit, or if she knows I got a raise or whatever have you, there's never been any talks or whatever because I take I'm already me not, I'm not gonna not, I'm not gonna stop. I'm not gonna not stop take, I'm not gonna stop taking care of uh everything that's going on. I equated to like how uh I remember I was off my mic, the Citiground was off of the mic, just like oh good. Well, you can be music for this, like you know. I'm catching I'm catching a mad maze for the next week. Like I just this thing I need to sit here and actually have a break for a second. Yeah, so I'm like, I need to be loud. Oh well, I didn't uh I never did that. Yes, you did. It was your MO right when you was my last day of work until new year. Uh uh I'm still on my last day all go for the before uh how you already put my tools together.

Yeah, that's crazy.

Make that make sense.

That is crazy.

That makes sense.

All right, so this person actually needs some real world advice because that the other one was a layup. Like we are the other one was just a layup. Well, let's hear the story. So

Living In A House You Don’t Own

says my parents bought a house for me. Bought a house for me, my ex-husband and my kid 10 years ago. I've been divorced and single for seven years with no double income. It was a foreclosed, it was a foreclosure and a it was a foreclosure and a vacant for five years. They paid outright in cash for 70K and spent 30k fixing it. It's a 1400 square feet Cape Cod style house. The upstairs is pretty unlivable, no heat, no work done up, and no work done up there, but a new toilet install in the half bath, and the layout is two tiny bedrooms on the eight on either end and connected by a long hallway. It was an owner-occupied foreclosure, so technically, so I technically own 10%. There's also no deed to the property. I pay utilities, insurance, and property taxes. I went back to school for my master's and ended up taking four years instead of two. It ended up taking four years instead of two. So I've been pretty poor for the that's not funny. I've been pretty poor the last five years and having had no money to put into the house. I finally finished and and I have a good paying job around 70K. They dumped money into it so that it was habitable and then pretty much called it a day with minimum upkeep and have blamed me for not doing more. The house needs about 100k worth of work. My driveway is gravel and full of deep holes. My deck, a big one, is rotting and so is my fence. I have multiple rotting windows. My front bay window is cracked and the wood underneath is rotting. I have a copper ant and spider infestation from all the rotting. There's a lot of overgrowth growing in the backyard and a down tree. My front steps and concrete are cracked. My front door paint is peeling. My house looks trashy from the outside. Inside, the kitchen needs refreshing and new flooring because the lamina is pretty worn. I hate the actual layout of my house and hate my bathroom due to the DV, due to the due to DV reasons. Domestic violence reasons, strangled in the tub by my ex. Oh my gosh. But that's besides the point. My parents have multiple properties, and my mom keeps my dad busy fixing all of them. Yeah. Wow that's not funny. You should have led off with that. Yeah, my parents have multiple properties, and my mom keeps my dad busy fixing them up all the time, but not mine. The issue is that the town is accessing my house at 250K. And because it's and because it's owned outright, it's just all equity, and my mom refuses to touch it. She said it's not my equity, and that I need to save up money to put into the repairs the house needs because she doesn't have the money to. She refuses to talk about selling me the house and has said that it's her investment, even though she only bought it for me and my kid to live in. The houses across the street from where my the houses across the street from me are new builds and being sold for are being sold for starting 600, why she said like that, 650k. It's the best, it's the best schools in the area, not a poor town at all. I feel stuck and very un I feel stuck and very ungrateful about living here. I understand I have a pretty sweet deal, no rent or mortgage, but I want a mortgage if it means I get to fix my house and not be embarrassed by it. I'm also really resentful that she wants she wants to make money off of selling me the house if she does. She can't, she also can't afford to claim a full deed of sale on her taxes, but won't entertain a private rent to own mortgage either. This has been a big point of contention between us for the last several years. And now that I finished school, I'm looking, I'm looking to figure out my future and feel stuck. What should she do? Yeah. That's the simplest thing. That was the simplest thing. But she wants to stay in that neighborhood and she was looking up the new bills, and the new bills are 650k while her house that she's in now is being 250k. But uh, but the parents ain't doing no upkeep. They let letting her live in that shitty ass.

Sound like she wanna buy it so she could sell it and cut them out of any money on it.

No, she wants to she all put the they're not getting cut out in any money. It's like if she buys it from her parents, the parents get the money, but she don't want to say she don't want to sell it to them. The parent, the mom doesn't want to sell it. Some of them she bought it for an investment, so I'm not doing, I'm not, I'm not, but you're not putting into the house any repairs, any of that shit. They treating her like Cinderella, man.

Yeah, at least she ain't got a she got a uh just a house to live in instead of the selling for you. Yeah, that's true, too. So she she looked she's a better, she's better off than Cinderella.

Cinderella, yeah.

She's more like uh Rapunzel. Uh yeah, I lead a house, man. There's no way like all the stuff that she named, and it's like 100k worth of stuff, but they want her to put into upkeep, but the upkeep just benefits the parents. I'm living there rent-free. And at that point, I'm just there because y'all need somebody not to uh squat in the house. That's what that sounds like. Until y'all get back to fixing, yeah, I get around to fixing up that house. I'm trying to figure out what she spent her money on if she ain't she ain't got it. Well, remember, she was in college, she wasn't working, she just got a job making 70K.

Okay, so now she she was in college, she got a kid, she was getting abused by her ex-husband, and she got 70k. So you're living around free. So that means if you got a $250,000 house off of a loan, and depending on how much your interest rate is, her parents are paying about seven, somewhere between $1,400 to $1,700 a month for that house, right? Yeah, and if it's just her paying it, that means anything. No, I'm saying if it was her paying it, she saved herself about $800 a month.

Right.

So that's a bill she doesn't have to worry about.

I'm assuming she she's not paying the utilities either. She's paying utilities. Oh, it's paying utilities.

So the utilities that's all she's been paying is utilities. She has not been paying a mortgage or rent.

Which is which all it is is internet and your BGE if you're in America.

Yeah. And not with a cave cup.

Well, and well, and you order every what three months, yeah, whatever. And if it's just her and her kids, it shouldn't be butt so high.

So you're you're saving our money a whole lot more than everybody else right now. How aren't you saving your money? Her issue was remember, she didn't have a lot of money to save because there was no double income. She still had a kid to take care of, and she was putting herself through school. So she was paying the utilities. She was never paying a mortgage ever, even when the ex-husband was there. She was never paying a mortgage or rent. Her gripe is fix this house up, and maybe I'll do that. And they're like, nah, I'm not fixing the house up. I don't feel like I need to. And they're like, well, let me buy it. Nah, I'm not, I'm not selling it to you. So what the fuck am I here for? For a free ride. Yeah. Look, well, you her how her kids ain't but so old. I mean, ain't but so young now. She should be. I mean, I get it, you still gotta pay for activities in here and there, but let's say her kids are like 11, 12.

Yeah.

You ain't paying for diapers and formula. You just you just at that point you're paying for their well-being. Okay, she paid my bad. She paid utilities, insurance, and property taxes. All they did was all they did, all they did was pay for the house outright. She paid for everything else, just not no upkeep. So they pay oh they the house already paid for it. Yeah. So but the parents ain't trying to sell it to her.

And there's no money in the escrow to pay it outright.

But then so it got assessed for 250. So if you was to say put that on a well, you know, not sell it back to the bank, but you get what I mean. Like uh, they got a loan against it, and then there's a loan that you can pay on to do the fucking repairs, but the parents don't want to do that. Because they don't want they don't want to be stuck with the bill. He's living there with already with a job.

The girl that the wanna be stuck with the bill.

I get that. But she's already your daughter already been paying the insurance and utilities and property taxes for five years. Ten years, actually. So you telling me 10 years with my own mom and dad ain't enough cachet to be like, yo, I think y'all can take a chance. I got my master's, I'm I'm making good money. I think y'all can take a chance on me. It sounds like somebody being greedy. It's like the parents expect her to spend 100k of her own money on a house that she would never own. Why would I upkeep a house that I don't own? Right. I don't care if we uh daughter and you know, and daughter and father and and mother and shit. That don't even make any sense.

You might have to wait for them to die.

She might not know where those parents are, they might not even lead a damn house tour. They might be like, we wanna we wanna donate these uh properties to fucking Salvation Army or some shit like that. They might do some shit like that.

Surprise man. I I uh I don't know.

I mean I say say I say leave there a little while longer and just save up your money and get the fuck up out of there.

That's all she gotta do. Save up her money. I mean she's paying the taxes, but taxes are a fraction of what you would pay on a mortgage.

Like a fraction of it. Like a fraction of it. Like I think our tax is about 4,500 a year. Yeah. So imagine you forget. Y'all taxes is 4,500 a year? Yeah, I think so. It's either 4500 or 2400. I would say y'all's probably less than mine's is 40, 4500 a year, close to it. I would say y'all's probably has to be less than ours. Y'all all the way out there. It has to be it has to be cheaper out. It has the taxes. The taxes go by the county. We're still um well, I how is y'all's more than uh pretty how I don't believe that. I'm not saying I just looked at it. Is it a year?

Yeah, it's either between 40 to 4500 a year, yeah, and it fluctuates a lot.

I mean, I was at we are yeah, we're in we're in a we're in a weird situation where everybody should fluctuate. I can't believe y'all is that much though.

Well, because you gotta remember it like MR County you got some really expensive places, you got some really crappy places, but they just average it out. Imagine them taking over where Annapolis mall is and charging them uh buckets uh on a leg.

They're gonna look at them like they're crazy, like wait, we right here by the hood. You know what I'm saying?

Well yeah, man.

That long story short, uh the person that posted this they just just uh do your thing. Yeah, you you you see it's not gonna get no better. It's not gonna get no better. It's not gonna get no better. Do your thing, come to your your parents one more time if that's how they want to take it. That's like I mean, if that's how they want to handle it, that's how they want to handle it. And you handle it the best way that you can. That's pretty much what it is.

Yeah, yes, indeedy.

On

Final Takeaways And Closing

that note, um, everybody uh take care of your houses. That's all you can do. Everybody take care of your houses, and if you gotta kick somebody out of it because they thinking your their money is your money, their money, no, your money is their money, then hey, that's what you gotta do. That is still taking care of your house inside and out.

You ain't nobody's ATM. Not at all, mom or girlfriend, mom or girlfriend.

Thank you everybody for tuning in and uh catch you next time.