Wes & DeLaw | Choose Presence Over Pageantry And Call It Love

Yeah, a long night last night and then I turn around like you know what I might go to one of the homies house and uh see what's going on.

Well you know what? I I don't plan to drink a lot today. But you already know what happens when you don't plan to do anything.

Things happen.

Things have happened anyway.

Yeah, things happen to you. I don't plan, but if uh if it happens, I have done what I needed to do as a as an adult to uh to make sure that I am alive tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. Welcome to another episode of the According to West Podcast. As always, we have D Law.

You got D Law, the hydrating, so I don't get too bad of a hangover, son-in-law.

And same here. You got me West Hydrating, so I don't get a hangover. Bringing water, minding our business, yeah, and watching sports.

Oh, yeah, I mean, I I might be watching it. Like my cousin about to come through, my other cousin. So both my cousins just called me because one wants to wants to ride with ride with us to go down there, the other one wanted to know how to get in the community.

Yeah.

Like, well, you know, Scott figured, call his wife. The other one, he just, you know, he don't want to burn the gas and go. That might nigga just burn damn gas.

Yeah, yeah. Listen, when in doubt, call the wife. Who's who's you know what I mean? You call the woman in the family, and then they get you right. Yeah, because that's what happens on my end when it comes to certain things. Well, I be trying to like uh get my wife to get as much information as possible. I'm like, so what about this? What about that? What about this? Like, I need to know, so I'm doing what you need me to do the right way. So I need to this is the dress code for this family function. Because sometimes they like doing theme stuff like, oh, everybody's wearing green. I'm like, you know, I need to know these things. Look, yeah, yeah, you say that, yeah, you say that, and and I I bet you I'm almost gonna guarantee you in a in two months, you're gonna be at a theme something. Oh, I don't follow no theme, yeah. All right, they were talking about. I think the last thing I had to go to, they're talking about, oh yeah, we uh we're all wearing purple, I wear black. They see they said don't bring your ass back around here again. You don't follow instructions, all you had to do was wear color, and you chose to wear the absence of color.

Exactly. Or is it the absence, or is it the combination of all colors?

Is it? I don't fucking know how that how that works. I think white is the absence of color. I don't know, to be honest. Listen, art art art 101 I didn't really do too good in, so I couldn't tell you.

I just know when you put all the colors together, it turned black.

Really?

White just white.

I'll try that. So what you saying, so what you saying, so what you saying. I'm not about to make that joke. But I hear you. I'm not about to make that joke. I'm not about to make that joke. White ain't got color, and black is all the color. So that should let you know something. That's why it starts with us. Yeah. Yo, uh speaking of like family functions and stuff, I told myself like this year I'll be more uh I'll be more willing to do and participate in certain things, including family functions and stuff like that. Hence why I was uh where I was at last night, my uh my wife's ran at a party. So I was like, you know what? I said I'll get out the house more, this, this, and that, be social, be her arm candy. And that's what I was that's what I was last night. Do you find yourself like since you're getting older, like um wanting to spend more time with the family, or more or less like, I don't want to spend no time with you motherfuckers. I'm trying to spend more time with the family, but they treat all the events like a a Baptist service. Yeah, and much respect to God then and then and his son Jesus Christ. That could be annoying. That could be annoying, but like I said, which much respect to the man above. That could be annoying.

I mean, every of them, it's like, all right, God is good. Glory to God. We start clapping, then they want to sing a song. Granddad got to speak real quick, and then you know, somebody else wants to speak, and then uh someone else got prayed. That's all before we can even sit down and eat.

And you just like, yo, the cornbread and the greens right here, like what's what we doing? I'm sure your wife's stuff, uh that that side of the family ain't like that. It's just get straight to the point. Like the food already here, sit down, get yourself a plate. They playing cards over there.

No I'm only seen part of her side of the family, which is her um uncle.

Gotcha.

And they're they're very well off, so they there's a certain elegant to it. So they'll make some stuff.

So they're playing. I'm not even gonna say what I was about to say. I was about to say this. So they playing cricket in the backyard. Is that what you're saying?

It's just you know, it's like it's like uh, oh hey, guys, you you know, the guys will go downstairs to the the home theater.

And the women folks stay upstairs.

Yep, they'll stay upstairs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm I'm used, I'm kind of used to that. But uh yeah. So yeah, that happens. My my wife's side is that happens, but it kind of somewhat happens all in the same space where everybody's in ear shout. Oh, and sometimes, you know, you mingle back and forth depending on what's going on, who got the juicy story. Who would have uh what the food looking like, you know what I mean? Can I get a pre-taste? You know what I mean? So I get that.

Yeah, the food is decently good. I think the first time I went around they made oyster stuffing.

Nah, I'm not sticking around. And not that it was bad, but it could have used a little salt and some obey. What was the seasonings in there? Nothing.

I don't know.

It might just be nothing lemon juice though. So it's probably just lemon juice and what and pepper. I've never even heard of that. And I don't know if I like those words together. Oyster stuff. Jeez. I don't know if I like those words together.

And I think my wife made uh made some greens green beans and when I and when we got there, the green beans were almost gone.

I'm like, Yeah, because you want to know why? Wifey probably hooked that shit up with some flavor. They was like, yo, I'm I'm leaving here with something, some type of flavor in this uh in this in this uh event that we haven't. Right. So that's how it goes for the her side of the family.

I haven't really met too much of her side. I've only met the aunt and uncle, a couple other people.

Yeah.

This is real, like everybody's at their own house. Hey, oh hey, we got some food, eat some food. And that's like I send you on your way.

Yeah.

Not like a whole spectacle like when Jeezy did his uh 20-year anniversary for uh Sug Motivation 101 and had the orchestra and shit, like my family do.

But uh yeah, uh yeah.

That's the one thing I can say about the family. They get right to it. It's time when it's time to eat. All right, who blessing the food? I'll do it.

Nah, my wife's time.

Let's eat and kill room.

Listen, I've learned very, very early on my wife's side, they're not gonna start on time. The food will be good, and there will not be enough food all the time. So those are the worst combinations. So usually when she's like, Oh, uh, so-and-so having dinner, I'm like, all right, let me eat a little bit of shit before I leave. I know the food gonna be good, but it ain't gonna be enough for me to get seconds, right? Well, sometimes it ain't even enough for me to get firsts because everybody you know roll up in there, and I'm like, Fuck man, macaroni busting, and I can't even eat that shit.

Well, the only ones that worry about not getting any food are the ones in the back of the line because we do everything by age. Oh my god, we do everything by age, so oh do you so granddad and when grandma was alive, grandma, yeah, it trickles down. So I'm like in the middle of the line because you know everybody done had their kids and all that. Yeah, I still get food now. Them little niggas in the back.

Oh god, walking past and like I hope you get some of this because I'm I'm about to go sit down.

You be you be looking at them, why you look so sad?

Oh the fucking cheese, like first thing to go. Every fucking black household, a macaroni and cheese is the first to fucking go.

And I can't be like, well, you know what? Maybe next time, because you're gonna be in the same spot. We all get older the same. You got what you think.

You stuck. You stuck, or you you convince people to make more food. It's what it is. Yeah, I've been um, yeah, man. I've been uh I'm like as I've gotten older, I'm like uh I'm understanding what that uh what actual community means and why we need to have it, and why my family didn't, parts of my family didn't have it. So it's just like yo, because there's been times where it's just like yo, if you just had this like this moral support or someone championing you and you know that they're doing that and not just doing it like you know, your family praying for you and saying stuff like that whenever something comes about, but if you feel it, feel it, you kind of at least in my opinion, you kind of um you go about your day differently, you know what I mean? Knowing that you someone's in your corner and feeling that someone's in your corner. So with me uh with me not necessarily experiencing it, but seeing that in other cultures, I'm like, well shit, let me be that way for my sister and let me be that way for my mom. Just always constantly check in and seeing where I can help. My mom goes overboard, but uh you know, it's still good to you know to be that way, even with my friends and shit. It's still good to be that way. I try. I mean that's the only thing that's the only thing you can do.

They be like, oh damn, you here? Yeah, I'm here.

Yeah, that's the same thing with me. I mean, that's the only thing you can do, is just is just try. Every every event or every situation, you're gonna get better at it. Yeah, it's gonna become more natural. You're gonna start making more calls, like, oh, I'll call this motherfucker on Wednesdays. Let me see what's up with him.

See, I can't uh see, I I try to be family offense, but my issue is you gotta take a picture at the at the at the damn at the damn.

You just don't like the way your family uh hand, and I I I get that. That's that's that's bad.

I don't mind the whole package pageantry behind it. I don't mind all that stuff. My issue is when a nigga ready to leave and people still eat it. Why are you asking me to take a damn picture? Yeah, I'm ready to go. I'm about to leave. Oh, okay. You know, everyone, stop what you're doing. Let's go take this picture. People just getting me food. What you mean?

Why aren't you doing the thing? What they what they call the Irish goodbye, just fucking roll the fuck out. That's what I do.

That's what we've been doing.

Yeah, that's that's the way you get away from that.

What what what D Law and his wife?

I think they left. I seen them heading out. Like that's it. I usually say bye to one person that I know that ain't gonna really say too much. And like I say bye to my mother. Your eggs. There you go. There you go.

Yeah, you leave. Okay, uh you trying to get before the picture. Yeah, yeah. Just make our way. All right, yeah, we'll see you later. See you later. Bye, bye, bye, bye. Boom, out the door. We was on vacation, they were like, my aunt was like, So you just gonna leave before we took the picture? I said, You know, it was time to go. I said, I get it, you want to take the picture, but I ain't got time to be sitting around waiting for the picture. Nah, I need to I'm ready to go. Right. Oh, you you're giving your wife bad habits. No, I'm not giving your wife bad habits by leaving early. My wife could have stayed, she'd have got a ride home with y'all.

Yo, they try to guilt you. You giving your wife bad habits. In my head, I'm gonna like, I don't, yeah, I don't care.

Hey, look, the one thing the Smiths aren't uh subjected to is guilt because it's like exactly it's gonna be what's gonna be. It's gonna be what's gonna be. Look, if it's time for me to go, it's time for me to go. You said we're supposed to have family lunch at one o'clock.

It's 445.

Exactly.

Yeah, I hate that shit. That's why I always eat before I go anywhere. It'd be a miracle if things are cooked on time and ready on time, and we sitting down on time.

But if we were at a restaurant, they like we're at a restaurant, they order all these appetizers. I'm like, all right, whatever. I'm ready to get my food, get my drinks. And they like, all right, guys, and they're singing a singing songs, and they're like, Okay, we want everyone to stand up and say what kind of business they own, and what family part of the family bloodline are you a part of? Uh I'm like, what?

And this is just like what we just would decide to go out to eat today, right? And look, it took them to like I understand family reunion shit, right? Like, that's what you're doing. Like that the family reunion in the black and the black household ain't nothing but pageantry. I don't need that on a random Sunday.

Thursday. Look, it was like 245 by the time Nick finally starts bringing our food out. I'm like, yo, this is crazy. And so you know, you know, my ass. I was like, Yeah, you know, it was like, uh, well, what's your name? I'll say my name. And they said, which what but what uh line are you from? I said my mother's it was like it's like Lord, were you not paying attention? Fuck no, because I was like, you're supposed to say you're part of a granddad's line. Oh, okay, part of granddad's line.

No, who is your granddad? I only know him as granddad, I don't know his real name.

I don't know what it is. Like, how old are you? I know he's he's Dr. Granddad. That's it. And so they just looked at me like, Lord, I was like, hey, look, and you say, Well, I'm a part of my mother's yeah.

See, that's a that is enough for me to be like, I can't, I love y'all. I'm not doing this. I can't sit here and then because you didn't. It's like, yo, you already don't when you have to when you feel like you have to fake the situation, you're not you're not happy, and you you got the face of a not happy person, you got the disposition and the energy of a not happy person, and you expect me to eat and you're not when you eat and not happy, that food just automatically tastes bad. Yeah, so it's just like yo, I'm not, I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this.

I told my wife, I said we on vacation with them, so we ain't got six buys. Ain't like we're not gonna see them later on today, right? Look, I said, grab your stuff, go use the bathroom, hurry up and get this check, we dipping the fuck out. They're trying to go take this picture and they trying to get these checks situated. And so what ended up happening was uh um my my cousin or my my cousin's husband. I forgot I had ordered drinks. I forgot I had ordered my drinks, and all I paid for was my food. So when they came running out, well, so and so he paid for it. I was like, Oh shit, my bad, fam. I got you. She said, Nah, you ain't gotta pay me back. Next time we go out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just drink, just give me here.

Hey, say less. That's that's that's that's the hip term that the young kids say. Say less, you know what I'm saying? I'm I'm learning, I'm learning.

Well, no, that is your age group. You should have been been saying say less. That is that is not young. That is not that is not the generation before us. I mean, after us, sorry. You sure positive positive, positive, positive. I've been saying that since at least for the last 10 years.

Oh, I look, I've been saying it all of like the last one minute.

Oh my god, bad joke D law here, yo.

You know, back in my day, we had cool words, you know what I'm saying? If you were told, man, you had to drip, that meant you had an STD, not that you had a good outfit.

It did definitely mean that leaky dick ass motherfucker. That's exactly what that meant.

I forgot all about that. Oh, yeah, man, I got the drip. I'm like, What? Yo, you good? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just ain't hit nigga. The drip ain't good. Oh, dude, when I first time I heard a girl say her face was beat, I was like, Yo, who hit you? Like, what like she was like, What you mean? I said, Nah, when we said beat back in the day, that meant you you ugly as shit.

Yeah. I'm beat, I'm tired. Yeah, tired as tired face ass.

Yeah, man, tired face ass niggas.

Beat face ass motherfuckers. See, it's so crazy because it still works though. Face look beat the fuck up. It was like, oh dude, like, no, no, no. Like somebody beat your ass with a bag of rocks. That's what it looked like.

That's what it's just like. So you know, when people be saying certain things in my head, I'm I'm saying them as if like I'm still back in my old time, but really it went from a bad thing to a good thing or a good thing to a bad thing.

It might actually be a bad thing again. I who knows.

I don't know.

I don't I I don't I don't say that.

Like some kid, some kid one time was too done, said, All right, champ. I said, Oh, okay. That's back. Didn't know because you know back in my time, it was a good, it was a term of endeavment. It was better than saying what up, nigga. Yeah, so I was like, wait, he said, champ's not a good thing. It's not nah, nah, it's a bad thing. I'm pretty much insulting you. Really? I was like, so what if I don't feel like it's an insult?

I mean, I would have been like, champ is short for champion, and that's something that I have been maybe more than you have in your short life. So you tell me what's the insult? Me calling you a champ and you not the champion?

He's lazy motherfuckers. Don't get me started on that. We took a 40-point loss yesterday.

Yeah, I don't want to hear that shit.

40 points. Ketter and Largo, Mitchellville dog walked our ass like we stole some shit from them niggas. Like we like we wrote up the video.

Oh no, man.

They dog walked the shit out of us. You'd have thought we didn't even show to the game. It was so bad when we caught we caught a timeout, the clock was still running. I was like, thank god for mercy.

Yo, that's why I was fucking.

But today we didn't we lost by three.

We should have won, but we lost by three though to uh Marlboro.

Frederick Douglass today. So and Frederick Douglass, I some of these schools, and and I and I say this with love. You I know what you're about to say.

Y'all need to those schools don't need to be there no more.

Not only that, do something with your gym. Why you that's what I mean?

That's what I mean. That's what I mean.

You remember that movie Glory when uh the Texas El Paso team, the the all black team. I'm like, why y'all got a gym floor that look like that? Like that shit look old, like we supposed to be playing with comp with Converse on and shit.

Yeah, yeah, they that yo.

You know, Largo, Largo ain't not had ain't updated their gym since I was in school. Like it to them, they're like, well, we ain't gonna change it because you know they won two state champions back to back with that kid who uh who's over at Michigan State now. So you know they're like, man, we won on this floor. We ain't changing. But man, these these motherfuckers pissed us off today. And you know, we had two away games this weekend. We go to Largo, so you know the refs really control the game, unless it's some other shit.

Yeah, yeah.

Why the commissioner for Largo come over to us? Excuse me, coaches, you gotta stay in the coach's box. What? You a ref? Nah, I you know, this is my gym, and I the refs will tell us that you ain't in the game, right? Like, nah, stop off. Well, you no, this is my gym. I'm responsible for all this. Nick, we in the middle of a game. If the refs ain't told her to stay in the box, we ain't tripping. And I told the other cousin, man, only I don't even know why you engaged in it. You should have told her you're a commissioner of a league and you might be in charge of the gym, but they're in charge of this game. So if they don't tell me, back off. See ya.

Yeah.

And then today motherfuckers was chilling. They didn't think we knew. When two of these players fouled out, apparently only one had three. I'm like, that nigga got five founds.

That nigga got five fouls.

We trying to find out. Hey, we need we we got a timeout. How many timeouts we got? Oh, give me a second, Coach. The rest about to get the ball. How many timeouts we got? Hold on, coach. So y'all just cheating for the niggas because he's trying to give them the win.

I was like, y'all cheating ass nigga. It's crazy. I don't miss it. I don't miss that shit at all.

Oh, I I forgot. I was going to, I didn't need to tell you this. So how's that word? Heard heard a pot. So the guy was working when he was playing this podcast that was on Netflix about true crime, right? Now, mind you, I'm a very unfiltered person when I start hearing dumb shit on cases.

Yeah.

And not that I'm promoting suicide, but have many, I had quite a few friends who have committed suicide. So it's not funny, it's not a joke.

Yeah.

But in one of the cases, the person, you know, committed suicide. So going through the whole thing about how him and his chick hooked up, things were looking up. They lived long distance, but they seen each other like five times, but eventually started getting depressed again that he wanted to kill himself. So he started telling this girlfriend, and she's like, Well, you know, don't do it, live for it. And eventually it sounded like she really just got tired and was like, Well, look, nigga, if you're gonna do it, do it. And I'm just like, and the dude was like, You don't have no sympathy for. I said, Look, but ain't but so much many times I'm gonna tell you, don't commit suicide. If you're gonna do it, then do it. Other than that, just bring your ass on, you know what I'm saying? Like, suck it up, live your life, and stop worrying about you know whatever is worrying you to make you do that. So we get all the way to the point where he's committing suicide, right? So the girl and it's not funny, but so they finally get to the end of the case where the guy is like, okay, so they found out that the girl was on the phone with the guy while he was in the car doing carbon monoxide poison, because she pretty much told him how he could do it so it wouldn't be painful.

Yeah, I remember this. Uh white girl, right?

White girl, right? And so it got all the way to a point where apparently the boy got out the car and said, Nah, I don't want to do it no more.

And she said, No, get in the car, go ahead and commit suicide. Yeah.

And he was like, So the everyone's like, Oh, she should go to jail. I'm like, how the fuck are you gonna put this bitch in jail if the nigga got out the car? Like, if he was like, if he decided, oh, I'm gonna just go ahead and get back in the car because she told me to, that means you were already weak mind to begin with. You got out the car when you came to your sense, like, nah, I don't want to do this.

There should be something, some type of uh punishment because it's kind of like it's kind of like you triggering a little kid saying, yo, you know you can fly, and this is how you can fly. You drink this, right? And you're gonna be able to fly. So just jump off that building, and nothing's gonna happen to you. So that's kind of the same thing, right? Something should happen, something should happen to that person.

Now, I never and like when the guy me and the guy were debating that, and I said, I don't think she should have gotten should get prison time. That was my thing, because at the end of the day, no, she should get prison time.

How much of it? I don't know. It shouldn't be a lot, like two years. Yeah, I mean I I I can't say what's a lot. Yeah, I can't say what's a lot and what's not a lot, but it should be something, but it shouldn't be a lot.

Shouldn't be a lot. But I was just like, it wasn't like he he what she doctor cavorky in the worst thing suicide. Now, did she encourage him to do it? Yes, she did. Was she very forceful about it? Yes, she was, but there's nothing against a person who has free will of doing it, and that was my argument. I said, that's a hard case to try, that's a hard case to to try to do it.

It would have to be one of those things where it was proof that throughout the their time together, she was uh she was uh what do you call it? Not nurturing. Um she was uh yeah, influencing and and and enabling, not enabling, what is the word I'm looking for? She was grooming the situation.

Yeah, she gave them like uh they gave her like coercion because they they never tried a case like that. I mean, think about it.

Even if they try another case like that, how do you do it? Right.

It's like, and I was you know, and and not that I didn't have sympathy for the kid, because I'm like, anytime you lose a life like that for someone who feels like they can't go on no more because of this, this, and this is always a sad thing, you know. So I had a friend who I think I've told the story before, but a friend that jumped off a building over in Baltimore City, yeah. You know, I've had another one who decided he was gonna shoot himself, another one who, you know, like these things happen. Yeah, the fact that someone feels that way, it it is tough.

Yeah.

But for this particular case, he was talking to her, and he I think honestly, they both were in the same boat where they kind of really didn't want an attention. If you wanted attention to be the grievan girlfriend, he just wanted someone to pay attention to her.

Yeah, I vaguely heard about that. Uh gonna say her and uh say, you know, act like I understand the whole that whole situation. I just vaguely heard about uh that particular case. Yeah. And um, and even then, like it's like you said, how do you even how do you try that case? It's a tough if it happens again, like let's just say as a uh the I'm not about to get into I'm the lawyer, I'm the law, law expert, or anything like that. It's just like that's gonna be very, very, very, very hard. Because if you if you try, depending on how you try something like that now. I mean, but we got cyberbullying and shit. I mean, that's kind of the big the precursor to that, right? Like if you are if it's shown that you are cyberbullying and something happens, you do go to jail. Right. I well, I think as if you're an adult and it's in a minor, right? But if it's two minors, I don't know what happens.

It's the school takes care of it. But if it's two, what if it's two adults?

Now systems, you bullying somebody at work, cyberbullying somebody at work.

You better go up there and knuckle up, nigga.

Yeah, I gotta look, I gotta look into that. Now I'm I'm kind of not interested, but it's just one of those things where it's like, and then once again, I I have no children, so I don't know the ends and outs of cyberbullying. Like I know when it's I know when it's uh it's been cases when it's been an adult doing it to a kid on on like uh and the guys that that's another kid, that adult gets in a lot of fucking trouble. Right.

So I mean it's like I was telling the once the guy I was like, um you I said I'm not saying that the kids now are soft, in my opinion, they are but uh but based on what's going on, things are different.

But at that same token, we're gonna bully too.

We're gonna bully, and you had to either fight your bully or you, you know, it is what it is. Like people trolling you on social media, all right, cool, I get it, but is that a reason to really and I guess that's just the generation the generational gap or that from generation to generation, how things are taken so seriously for certain things.

Right.

I can imagine my mom, my mom was like, Yeah, if they bullied you, you just fought them. And so you know what we did? We fought for these, yeah.

A lot of times when I got uh just because I was uh when that bullying shit started, the first thing I did was try to fight, and that's not the right thing to do, but I was young and I was like, No, my feelings hurt. I'm gonna fuck you up rather than trying to like get on them back, you know what I mean? It was like nah I'm gonna fight you, right?

So that's what you did. Yeah, I mean, and that's why I ain't but now I'm all I'm also seeing a lot of these kids, it's not even that they're afraid to fight. It doesn't, it doesn't turn into a fair fight. You start dog walking a nigga in a fist fight, next thing you know, oh 14 of his homies jump in and now you getting stomped out. Or they leave and they come back and shoot you.

Or they or they or or the way to fight is not is never one-on-one.

Right. It's never one-on-one. Yeah, never one-on-one. And then it's just it's crazy. But I mean, I I brought that up only because it was I was just like, that's crazy, like that. Someone that someone can have that much influence over you that you're like, okay, I'm gonna get back in the car. And that was the part that got me. He got me back in the car. And she said, You get back in the car. That should have been like a I'm getting off the phone with you, bitch. We're done.

Yeah, but obviously he just wasn't, he wasn't stable. He was just stable, so yeah, yeah. You just couldn't believe like she's saying that and somebody actually did it. Because you're you're if you you're working with uh a full deck of cars there. Yeah, like uh he wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. So we got another uh we got another uh person that needs your advice. All right, and it is about of uh attending family events.

Where's my theme music at?

You you want some?

From D Lo.

All right. Don't I'm uh hey, all right. Advice from D.Va. Advice from D Law. So um they want to know if they are the asshole for not attending family events with the with his in-laws due to no one checking on him.

Hell no, he's not the asshole. Janey, let me finish.

Jamie, let me finish. I mean, it's probably yeah, nah, he's not when his uh family checking to him, checking in on him and his family after a tragedy. So basically, he says his father got into a terrible car accident about a year ago. He's paralyzed from the waist down and has brain injuries, and in general has been in a tough, has been going through a tough time. It's been a tough time for him and his family, especially my mom. All of my wife's siblings, three siblings and a brother, sorry, three sisters and a brother live within a half an hour of us. And we see them all the time for birthdays, kids, sporting events, holidays, and et cetera. I've started to remove myself from family events because no one once has not because not once has anyone outside of my family, outside of my mother-in-law and father-in-law, asked me in person over the phone or text how my dad's doing, how my mom's handling everything, or how I'm doing. It seems like they are acting like this event never even happened. I just can't figure out why the support is not there. So we've always been pretty close, and like I say, we live in the same area. The selfishness that the selfishness they've shown has been the selfishness they have shown has been mind-blowing. I've started to detest them as people. God damn. I avoid family events as much as possible now, and it started to impact my marriage negatively. My wife keeps saying that they maybe think I'm that keeps saying that maybe they think I just don't want to talk about it. But that seems like such a childish way to handle tragedy. Even worse, one of those sisters, who's a stay-at-home mom, made it known to my wife about a week and a half ago after the accident, that she thought it was unfair that my mother-in-law and father-in-law, who are retired and in good health, were having our four kids stay overnight at their house while my family and I were at the hospital most of the time. She then started spewing this to the rest of the siblings, and a couple of them seemed to take her side. Pretty sure she was just mad she couldn't use my mother-in-law and father-in-law to watch her kids while she shops and goes out with her friends. We've had probably 20 family events since the accident, and no one has provided me any words of support. Not even one comment from any of them. I feel like they've shown their true colors. Are they the asshole? Hell no, they're not the asshole.

Yeah, that's crazy.

Look, I put it to you this way, because I just talked about my family. Just because I don't show up this shit, don't mean nothing. But when something happens and no one checks on me, and then you mad because I don't come around. Nah, nigga, I ain't the asshole. Fuck y'all.

Yeah, that goes back to what I was saying about the community shit. Like, it's already our our our culture is already kind of messed up when it comes to that shit. Like everybody else, they do that shit. The the Jewish folks that do that shit, the Latino folks, they do that shit, the Asian folks that do that shit. Us is more or less like we do, but I don't sometimes I feel like it's not as prevalent. And maybe it is, and maybe it's just like broken families don't do that shit. But someone should have been checking up on them. Like if y'all, especially if I'm going to y'all kids stuff and we around and this, this, and that, like saying, Hey, you okay? You need y'all need anything, this, this, and that.

Right.

Because that is uh, I mean, that is tragic. I mean, at least uh the father-in-law and the mother-in-law had the the right fucking sensible idea to be like, yo, uh, how y'all doing? You know what I mean?

I should have been checking up for him. His father just his father just got in a car accident. Brain damage, paralyzed, ain't nobody checking up. And now y'all coming at him about, well, you ain't coming to the stuff. That's like that's like when my father died. Yeah. I mean, no one really asked me anything. They get when I saw it, like, oh, hey, how's everything going? But ain't nobody called me. So if I didn't show up, I would have I ain't tripping. And if they were like, oh, yeah, but I mean, father died, my best friend died. Like, all these people died, like, yeah, I ain't worried about y'all.

Yeah. And I could honestly say, like, sometimes when it comes to like stuff like that, and people dealing with tragic stuff, since I'm trying to get better at like being uh aware and being um present, there have been times where I'm just like, I do the blanket, not even blanket statement, but I do the blanket thing of usually people want time to themselves in this situation, I give them time. And a lot of people do that, but at the end of the day, sometimes the time needs to be really, really minuscule. It needs to be a day, and then the next day you need to do something. And I had to learn that the hard way because I had people that I cared about. It was like, yo, you didn't blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, I don't feel like I don't love you or anything like that, or I don't fuck with you. So I didn't understand why I did not, you know, check up on them. And it was always like up until like a, you know, a serious situation where I'm like, oh shit. So when serious situations happen, I try to get uh ahead of that shit because it's like I never know what my day is gonna be like, what my next week is gonna be like. So it's just like I give you a day, and then I'm hitting you with hey, whatever, whatever. I'm calling, I might show up at your house and announce. Now, if you shoot me away after that shit, I did what I was supposed to do. I'll give you more time. And depending on how that works, it's how it works. But I've definitely been guilty of that. But at the same time, when someone brought it to my attention, I corrected it because it's like, yo, I don't I fuck with you. I love you. You know what I mean? Like, I don't even want you to feel that way like I ain't in your corner. So it's not like these motherfuckers ain't even doing that.

Yeah, I heard I had somebody pull up on me unannounced. I just crashed my car too. I just crashed my car. And I think Phil and his girl and his girlfriend, I guess at the time, came came over to the house, they just like knock on the door. I'm like, bro.

Yeah, so that's how uncommon it is because it's like, yo, who does that? But at the end of the day, you're supposed to do shit like that. Like, yo, how you know I don't fuck with how you know this is a situation where you know I fuck with you, though. Nah, that shit should be a phone call. Well, that yeah, that too. If you're if you're okay, if you're okay, but let's just say I'm calling you and I ain't getting no answer. Like, if I fuck with you, fuck with you. I'm calling and get no answer. You kind of ghosting me. I'm like, nigga, don't have me show up there, and it's just you playing 2K, you know what I mean? Because it would be mad because you fucking my calls.

I understand that. If I call you and call you in and you answer, yeah, I'll pull up. Niggas didn't even call.

Yeah, well, yeah.

They heard from D was like, yo, yeah, he crashed his car, and they pulled up.

I'm like, but they they fuck with you enough to to be like to see about you.

Man, look, we weren't even on the huh. We weren't even on good terms there.

You and uh Phil?

Yeah.

I mean, listen, I don't know that story.

That's yeah, that's a long that's a that's a that's a story. I'll tell you that.

But at the end of the day, he fucked with you enough to if y'all not on good terms to show up. Yeah, and that's probably why he didn't she he didn't call first, because you wasn't gonna pick up the phone anyway.

Yeah, that's possible.

Yes, you missed you. He fucked with you enough to be like, you know what? I need to see a bottle.

Phil didn't call me. The the chick he was the the chick who what texted me because me and her used to mess with each other. So she texted me and I hold on. That's a long story, that's a long story. But she was texting me, she was talking about some you good? I said, Yeah, I'm all right. I mean, what's up? You know, I was I was being short, I was being short with it because of what the situation was.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she was like, I mean, I'm just checking to make sure I'm good. Is that it?

Like, all right, so this now is you you you throwing a monkey wrencher to my whole thing. If she checked up on you first, and then Phil still goes over. I'm not if you talk to the nigga, fine. You know what I mean? Like, I could just always say I had my girl reach out to you. Like, it is what it is. I'm not showing up. See, that's the and now I'm going back to the the prior because it's like, yo, I ain't know that part. I thought they just showed up.

But they they didn't tell me you were coming by. They was just like, she was like, All right, cool. I just want to make sure, all right, cool. That was it. Like, I'm I'm I'm chilling. Next thing you know, like two or three days like ding dong, I'm like, the and you know, my stuff, he answered the phone answered the door, and he's like, and I'm here, I'm like, who the hell are they talking to?

Did they come with food or anything like that?

No, no, empty-handed, didn't even bring no food, didn't bring no look. Like, at least you're gonna pop up unexpectedly, at least bring some.

That's how supposed to go.

Yeah, like you look, you're gonna pop up at my house. How you know I ain't hungry? I just I just crashed my car, I'm in pain. How you know how you know I don't want no Popeyes or at least a shot? Yeah, you said Popeyes, Popeye, Popeyes, man.

Yo, I went to my sister yesterday, right? I'm walking in a motherfucker and I'm like, damn, I smell Popeyes. Like, I'm before I even hit the door. My nephew on the floor in the piece of early in the morning. I'm like, yo, he's like, yeah, that was leftovers from yesterday. I'm like, damn, that shit smelled good.

When you get the Popeyes at the right time, yeah. Um tell it like like it's like that there's like that sweet spot, like right in the middle of the day, but still early, like they're still pushing it out so that it's up there.

Oh my Popeyes do sound good right about now. Yeah, I'm being fat.

We used to get the coupons, you know. You know, Popeyes don't got expensive over the years.

Everything is expensive.

But every time I get some little coupons, they said $5.99 for a two-piece.

Oh, yeah.

Sound like back when I was growing up, it's Popeyes.

Nah, two-piece was no fucking $5.99.

Yeah, well, it was like $5.24 for two piece. Six dollars for the drink with it.

I have oh, you're talking about a combo.

Yeah, yeah.

With the with the one side and the biscuit, nah, nah, that still sounds like it's too much money. Because KFC used to be the the the uh the most expensive pie pies. You was getting if you was gonna get a two-piece, it was gonna be like three dollars. Yeah, probably about three, four dollars. Yeah, it wasn't no fucking five dollars. Two piece, that's crazy.

You know, I always got a three-piece, I ain't gonna hold you. I ain't getting no two-piece, I got a three-piece. That's why I said five. Got my three piece, man. I'd be hungry, but like, let me get off thighs.

Right. Uh yeah, I was fan for some KLC chicken the other day, man. I was just like, God damn.

I periodically gotta go to KFC, man, cuz they chicken as much as everybody say they don't like their chicken. I find that chicken to be good as shit.

No, the chicken is good. I used to work there. The chicken's good.

Yeah, the only place I won't eat from now is McDonald's. I just I eat these fries, that's about it.

Yeah, I had a I had to I had to do a struggle, uh uh struggle visit the other day to McDonald's because I was going somewhere, I was like, fuck. Once again, going to a family event. I was like, I fucking need something to eat.

I had to get fucking two McDonald's gonna be good in that.

So I made sure you eat before I had to get two big chickens. I was like, man, I hope this shit don't fuck my stomach up, man.

Look, because everybody here right now, because my cousin here and my wife's upstairs, they both ate.

Exactly.

You never know. It might, you know, you know, when you go to people's houses that you know they're well off.

Yeah.

They they they they got their bougie food. You know, so you don't know how to flavor. It might have to be.

Yeah, that too. So it's like, yo, you already know. Like, if anything, what could I really eat in this bitch? Two things. I I can't live, I can't do this whole event tonight with just eating two things and they both sides.

You know, you know, they ain't gonna handle mac and cheese. Yeah, they're gonna handle collard greens with the ham hog.

Nope.

You know what I'm saying?

There'll probably be some wingets, probably some some you can't get eight, you can't get ten of those, so you gotta get two, maybe one.

And they they might have some pasta salad, you know what I'm saying? Some cake. They're gonna, it's gonna be shit you're gonna be like, damn. I should have definitely ate before.

I should have definitely ate, yeah.

Uh especially if they start being like, all right, guys, I'm gonna take shots. Like, you just gave us finger foods with shots, nigga.

Yeah, yeah.

Listen, I was blessed. I was blessed. Yeah, I was blessed enough. Like, when I was at the drink with my uh my wife, that they the sliders on that in that motherfucker was good. I was like, Thank god, man, because I did not know how that shit was going.

You know, did you get unlimited sliders at least?

Nah, nah, nah, nah. Man, I didn't know how that shit was gonna turn out. I was like, man, I don't know if I could do this shit because we both up and didn't eat before we left. And that was the game plan. Like, I had took out some uh some salmon and shit, and I'm like, all right, we're gonna eat this. We're gonna eat some salmon and shit before we go. But we rushing and shit, we get in the car, and she was like, Oh shit, we didn't eat. I was like, God damn it. So we ain't know what the fuck was about to happen. I hate that shit, man. Man, somewhere, like, damn. I want like you you you came out your house, you barely wanted to come out your house, and you hungry, and you just smelling shit, simmering and cooking and shit. Mad as hell. Yeah, like when is it gonna be done? Oh, we just got started, and you be like, yo, come on, man. Just got started. I was here an hour, and y'all just got started.

Don't tell me the party started at six, and then you guys just the party shit ain't ready. Like, all right, yeah, food will be ready in the hour, maybe an hour.

That shit, man. I hate that shit.

But yeah, and we I had a struggle and eat two McChickens the other day.

We can't call it hand to see if the food is ready.

So we can't no, so we we do we do do my well. My wife facilitates that shit. Like she, like if one of her sisters at the uh get there first, she'd be like, yo, they cook yet. We're gonna just get a Chipotle because there's no way I'm going over there, and not a damn thing is in the oven. Nah.

Okay, every time I turn around, I go to my boy's house out of Randall Town, and I'll be like, I get there, and I get there late, like at least 30 minutes to an hour late. Oh, hey, you're here, take your shot. Yo, the worst is the fucking summertime.

It's like, yo, all you gotta do is throw them bitches on the grill, and you didn't even do that. The grill ain't lit. It's already five o'clock. I'm like, yo, what are y'all doing?

The person that's on the grill just sitting at the grill, no grill.

Yeah, horror stories, man. Horror stories. That is that that is kind of like one of the reasons why I don't really be the family shit. It has nothing to do with my family, they just never on time. Never on time or shit.

Okay, I don't even I don't even like I said, I don't have an issue both with my family stuff. I just hate having to take the fucking picture. I just want to take the picture in the beginning and say that when it's time to fucking go out and roll.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. At least with my uh my wife's side, they just uh it ain't really a picture, they just be wanting to do like arts and craft type shit. So Jack Downs and Maple syrup. Maple syrup? That sound good. Ooh, that's good. My family calls me a now, so I be dipping.

I'd be like like my cousin that's over here now.

Nah, yeah, no, yeah, they no listen. I I'm dipping, but y'all disrespecting me by not holding up to y'all into the and especially when you come yo, if you come with stuff, oh bring this. I bought what I needed to bring. My shit ready. Ain't nothing else ready. Who the asshole at this point?

Hey, look, if we take in a picture when we about to do family prayer for the dinner, we should do the family picture at the same time. Boom.

That's why that's fucking wild.

Look, we can all sit outside, take the picture, and then after the picture, Father God in the name of Jesus, pray over this food that's all line up and get. I'm sorry, look, efficiency.

Yo, I can't say when it comes to like the prayer at both sides, my side and my uh my wife's side. That's just quick. Oh nah. Once I the other day, we let the little we let the one of the little babies do it, and it was like God's grace is God move by that. It was a little dirty, amen. We was done.

Our family prayers for dinner are like an ultra call. They asking, they asking who got anything that needs to be prayed over the food. My health, my head, my back, and they start praying. I'm like, Lord, we about to be here for another hour. We miss, we miss the back. I'm over there watching the game because obviously this is more entertaining than listening to the square, like pray over the food so we can eat.

Yeah, that's wild. That is fucking wild, man. Shit, family. Family. But but yeah, man, home the dude wrote this shit. Like yeah, man. Sometimes you just uh it is real easy to get self-absorbed in your own in your own shit, and you think you actually being supportive and you're not really doing anything. And sometimes you don't know it until something happens to you. And thank goodness I'm changing the way that I am before something happens to me. You know what I mean? So I can like my circle is my circle. Like if I'm doing this for you and I've always been checking up on you, and you fail me, right? Then we won't have a problem because I already already started that with me and everybody. Right. So I think yeah.

Yeah.

But uh, no man, his wife uh his wife, that's his wife's fault too, because she needs to be better at that. Like, if you know that's the if that's the issue I'm having, go talk to your fucking brother and sister. Like, why the what the fuck I gotta do that? I'm already dealing with something. Like, why why I gotta do that? If you know that it's a problem and it and then you see it as a problem, you need to be saying something.

Like, don't be asking, how come you don't want to come around? Cause y'all ain't checking on the nigga.

Yeah, that's what I need you to say. I need you to say it just like that.

Yeah, I gotta run and get some gas. Yeah, that's up. That's all you need to say.

I ain't checked on, yeah. I mean, they check on, you know, my mom, she called my wife. How you feeling, you know, since the passing of her father and all that. No, no, no. So at least somebody checks on her.

That's what you're supposed to do. That's what you're supposed to do. So like I was saying, like even with uh with friends and shit, that's what you're supposed to do. And that's how you know that somebody's really uh, you know, they they fuck with you. Because if I tell you I'm going through something and you just treat it like, hey, when we went to the bar, I'm like, nigga, uh I I'm telling you what the what the fuck is going on. Maybe I don't want that right now.

There's no uh I'm already at the bar.

Well, yeah, I mean, and your case, yeah. Sometimes you probably be already at the bar. But you get what I mean. You're you're worried about the next time we can do uh the fun friendship. This that time to put in that work, like as Joe, like you say you fuck when we friends, this this this is that time. So yeah, people don't uh be you know how they say they want the the benefits but don't want to put the work in.

Yo, oh yeah, yeah, but that fucking work in y'all wanna get in the game, but won't work hard in practice.

I won't get in the game, but don't want to play no defense like Harden.

Look, they playing oh look, you walked us up and down that court, you'd have thought you'd have thought we were we were like a 11 and under team playing against another team just to scrimmage with they was dog walling our ass. Man ain't no way we should have been down 30 points at the half.

That's crazy. That's fucking crazy. Yeah. Before him, no, he's not an asshole for not wanting to go around the family.

Nah, I know.

I fuck, you know, from based off of this, yeah. I I fuck with the mother and uh and father-in-law, but fuck your little bitch ass uh siblings. Like it is what it is, especially going to my my nieces and nephews fucking recitals and things like that. I could be at home, but no, I'm showing fucking support and shit. So it's like and y'all can't give me a you know, hey, how you doing? Let's let me you know, get your mind on some things, type shit. So 83 next. Yeah. Hearing that out loud, I probably need to do more of that. Whenever nah, but see, I mean the types of encouraging words I give for uh like the and my like sisters-in-law and stuff like that, it all comes uh from a different uh space. More or less, it's more or less like yo, yeah. I know, it's more or less like yo, you shouldn't be dealing with this type shit, and you wasting your time. Like it's a it's the big brother shit. Yeah it ain't uh ain't nothing really going on, it's more or less like he a bitch ass nigga. Like that this is me saying shit like that. I don't know no dudes that act like that, so shit. On that note, beat it for your fucking family.

So New England or Seahawks.

I don't fucking know. Um, I feel like New England will win because that's what Donald Trump wants.

That's what Donald Trump wants. You know, because that's the way the world goes now. I don't even know. We're gonna try something because you remember the last time the pages were in the Super Bowl, I don't think anyone watched it. I was at I was at Fat Boys watching it, and I don't even remember. I just remember the game was like 10 to 7. I was like, wait, the game's over? They're like, Yeah, I was like, oh shit, who won? Oh, the Patriots? Uh all right.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, all right.

I mean listen, that's the only most unwatched, most boring super but I do hope, but I do hope Seattle wins, and just to see if he uh invites them to the fucking uh to the White House. You know that's a liberal ass. That's a liberal ass uh fucking uh area where that team is at.

You know, Trump ain't invite no niggas to the to the cookout, which makes me feel like the Patriots. You know, all them Patriots are gonna come shoot that's why.

Oh gosh, that's gonna be interesting. Yeah, it's gonna be interesting.

But uh the halftime show is gonna be a little weird. They got Bad Bunny.

It's gonna be interesting.

Hey, look, hey, look, if he performs the song Booker T, you know he's a huge wrestler fan. If he performs Booker T, all right, cool. Yeah, but I have no clue what he says on any of his songs because they're all in complete Spanish.

So I'm just like hey, feel the vibe, catch a wave. That's all you gotta do.

And look, I I I'll take Jennifer Lopez and uh who was that uh Shakira. Shakira, I'll take that. Man, when little when she did the washing machine, I was like, uh-oh. Uh-oh. This might be banned off TV. You know, when they do the washing machine, they they they they call for them Spanish dudes to come get it.

Yo, yeah, I forget. I uh not I forget, but um yeah, we'll see who he brings out. Maybe that might be more entertaining. Yeah, not more entertaining, but you get what I mean. Hey, look, but for just for the fuck of it, I just want I just want white people to be so mad. So I want the most Latino experienced fucking ever. I want I I literally want these motherfuckers to be mad and just have some ignorant racist shit to say. Because I'm like, yo, that's that's those y'all, those y'all people out there saying this shit. Yeah, we I voted for him, and look what he uh, you know, them some of the Latinos voted for Trump.

And look, they were they want him, they were tired of the niggas being the forefront of the Super Bowl hightime show. After Kendrick got on there and and did his thing, they were Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, man, we can't handle more niggas up here. Look, even though he ain't say call him a pedophile.

He said, say Drake, I heard you like him young.

I mean, what else could you say?

What else is there to say? Yeah. Oh shit. Thank everybody for tuning in. See you next time.